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Started By
Message
Spinoff thread: Air Force Dilemma
Posted on 4/3/22 at 9:43 am
Posted on 4/3/22 at 9:43 am
Those of you who followed my other thread know that my stepson joined the Air Force last year and now a few weeks ago he arrived in Ramstein, Germany. But now there's a new dilemma:
He isn't married, but has a girlfriend back in Austin that he has twin daughters with. She also has a 5-year old son from a previous relationship. He just moved in to a 3-bedroom apartment near the base in Ramstein, and the plan was to bring her and the kids over. However, he's saying that in order for her son to go to school there, he'd have to adopt him, and the kid's real dad isn't willing to sign over parental rights. The kid doesn't even know his real dad, and has never even met him, the mom has sole custody, but the dad still won't sign over his parental rights, so there's nothing they can do. Does that sound accurate?
He isn't married, but has a girlfriend back in Austin that he has twin daughters with. She also has a 5-year old son from a previous relationship. He just moved in to a 3-bedroom apartment near the base in Ramstein, and the plan was to bring her and the kids over. However, he's saying that in order for her son to go to school there, he'd have to adopt him, and the kid's real dad isn't willing to sign over parental rights. The kid doesn't even know his real dad, and has never even met him, the mom has sole custody, but the dad still won't sign over his parental rights, so there's nothing they can do. Does that sound accurate?
Posted on 4/3/22 at 9:44 am to moontigr
Are you really coming to the OT for advice on this?
Posted on 4/3/22 at 9:46 am to moontigr
It seems like being married should bypass the adoption thing.
Posted on 4/3/22 at 9:47 am to moontigr
congrats on being the Springer level trashy family
Posted on 4/3/22 at 9:47 am to Huey Lewis
They're not married, and I'm not sure he wants to get married, which further complicates things.
Posted on 4/3/22 at 9:50 am to moontigr
Good Lord.
This has it all, including an unwed dependapotomus with her previous relationship's child seeking adoption
This has it all, including an unwed dependapotomus with her previous relationship's child seeking adoption
Posted on 4/3/22 at 9:52 am to BigBobbyStorey
quote:
trashy
Yes, that was pretty much established in the first thread. I'm fully aware of the trashiness of the entire scenario. Regardless, I know from experience that in addition to all the smartasses, the OT also has some of the most knowledgeable people in situations of all types.
Posted on 4/3/22 at 9:53 am to moontigr
I don't have any advice to give, im just here to tell you this is trashy.
Posted on 4/3/22 at 9:55 am to moontigr
quote:
They're not married, and I'm not sure he wants to get married, which further complicates things.
He should have thought about that before he had two kids with her. My only prediction is that this ends badly for everyone involved.
Posted on 4/3/22 at 9:57 am to Saint Alfonzo
quote:
He should have thought about that before he had two kids with her
Agreed. It was unexpected, unplanned, but it still happened. That said, just because he shares kids with her doesn't mean they have to get married. He's just too indecisive as to what he wants to do. He wants to have his cake and eat it too.
Posted on 4/3/22 at 9:58 am to moontigr
Air Force officer at Ramstein here. For any of them to stay there at all (beyond the visa limitation), they'd have to be married so that the dependents could get "command sponsored" (on his orders) and have access to military medical facilities etc. As far as the adoption stuff...I guarantee there's a way around this but it's probably a bureaucratically convoluted one. But overall...the kid could still go to school there...maybe just not the on-base US school. Which would be fine, as the German ones are excellent and it's comparatively easy for young people to learn languages. But honestly the best answer is probably to homeschool him anyway.
What's his career field? Your son should talk to his chain of command (1st Sergeant especially, and probably some commander involvement) about how to figure out the process. Feel free to DM me if he wants some top cover and I can go talk to his commander if necessary.
The AF makes all of this unnecessarily complicated. Getting my wife over there was a ridiculous process, and I've been in 15 years.
What's his career field? Your son should talk to his chain of command (1st Sergeant especially, and probably some commander involvement) about how to figure out the process. Feel free to DM me if he wants some top cover and I can go talk to his commander if necessary.
The AF makes all of this unnecessarily complicated. Getting my wife over there was a ridiculous process, and I've been in 15 years.
Posted on 4/3/22 at 9:58 am to moontigr
quote:sounds like classic case of the step-Apple doesn’t fall far from the step-tree
my stepson joined the Air Force last year and now a few weeks ago he arrived in Ramstein, Germany. But now there's a new dilemma:
He isn't married, but has a girlfriend back in Austin that he has twin daughters with. She also has a 5-year old son from a previous relationship. He just moved in to a 3-bedroom apartment near the base in Ramstein, and the plan was to bring her and the kids over. However, he's saying that in order for her son to go to school there, he'd have to adopt him, and the kid's real dad isn't willing to sign over parental rights. The kid doesn't even know his real dad, and has never even met him,
Add in a couple pitbulls and maybe some cargo shorts and this could easily take first prize in the Trashiest Thray of the day and It’s only 7:58am gods country time
Posted on 4/3/22 at 9:59 am to moontigr
quote:
Does that sound accurate?
Yes, they BOTH will have to be sponsored/dependent not just the kid. Being a gf is not going to get you moved to Germany
This post was edited on 4/3/22 at 10:02 am
Posted on 4/3/22 at 10:00 am to moontigr
This sounds right. The child is not his dependent so not entitled to DOD support (school). Immigration could be tricky as well.
Posted on 4/3/22 at 10:06 am to Menji
quote:
Air Force officer at Ramstein here. For any of them to stay there at all (beyond the visa limitation), they'd have to be married so that the dependents could get "command sponsored"
Well there you go.
And Trashy.
In all seriousness, explain to your kid what happens when he marries this woman just to get her over there and then she divorces him in a couple of years. Because that's the most likely outcome of this.
Posted on 4/3/22 at 10:08 am to moontigr
quote:
They're not married, and I'm not sure he wants to get married, which further complicates things.
This is the first and only issue OP. Why would you adopt a kid of a lady you aren’t married to and only dating? This would be an absolutely terrible idea.
Posted on 4/3/22 at 10:12 am to moontigr
I’m sure there is some legal precedence to remove invisible dad fully from the child, if he is, in fact, completely out of the picture.
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