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re: Crackpot ASOIAF Theories SPOILERS
Posted on 6/26/15 at 10:38 am to Bamatab
Posted on 6/26/15 at 10:38 am to Bamatab
quote:
But I wouldn't think that the magical "force field" expands past the edges of the wall, and out a long way into the oceans.
I agree with this - but the Others are an ancient species and certainly they're aware of this thing called "the ocean" and if they could overcome it, they would have by now. Maybe Martin decided to ignore the issue, in favor of this mythology of the wall and the watch?
Of course, the others have been dormant for many years, so maybe their lifecycle is such they cannot pass down information such as ship handling, water crossing - they don't seem to get anything from their wights other than control over the dead bodies. They clearly seem to be following a human-like strategy and certainly some of them are human (Craster's sons) in origin - so it does not seem biologically impossible - so I'm going with some sort of magical explanation until that is no longer viable.
0
Posted on 6/26/15 at 2:11 pm to Bamatab
Maybe they know it makes a battle with man on equal terms? If they get in a naval battle, men wouldnt be as scared to fight and if they lose a ship those wights can't be used again.
Posted on 6/26/15 at 7:08 pm to volnavy
I'm in the process of reading this entire thread. Seriously. I have set this as a challenge for myself.
I'm on page 98 right now. This is going to take forever.
I'm on page 98 right now. This is going to take forever.
This post was edited on 6/26/15 at 7:08 pm
Posted on 6/26/15 at 7:24 pm to FT
quote:
I'm in the process of reading this entire thread. Seriously. I have set this as a challenge for myself.
I'm on page 98 right now. This is going to take forever.
You are a better man than me. I want to go back and read the entire thing, but I would never be able to do it.
Good luck man.
Posted on 6/26/15 at 7:47 pm to Bamatab
I've been reading for a week and I'm less than 10% through. This is going to take like two months
Posted on 6/26/15 at 7:49 pm to FT
quote:
I'm in the process of reading this entire thread. Seriously. I have set this as a challenge for myself.
Since you're doing that, you might as well catalog the major theories and give us a listing by thread page. That wouldn't be too much to ask would it.
This post was edited on 6/26/15 at 7:53 pm
Posted on 6/26/15 at 7:50 pm to FT
Hey while you're at it you can book mark all the detailed theory posts and we can update the OP with links, you'll be a frickin legend
Posted on 6/26/15 at 8:10 pm to FT
There are about 500 pages of hardlegging mid-way through.
Prayers sent.
Prayers sent.
Posted on 6/26/15 at 8:50 pm to wildtigercat93
quote:They're catalogued up to page 110.
Hey while you're at it you can book mark all the detailed theory posts and we can update the OP with links, you'll be a frickin legend
I'll try to get the rest sorted out as I go through as much as I can.
Posted on 6/26/15 at 9:17 pm to FT
I would go unto a homicidal rage if I had to decipher through someone trying to slide into bluegrass belles draws like she's fricking Paige while still trying to read my crackpot arse theories.
Posted on 6/26/15 at 9:22 pm to Mrtommorrow1987
Luckily I can skim pretty quickly, so I'm able to avoid a lot of the fluff.
Just realized that every post I make here means I have more to read to catch up. And in two months you guys will probably have added another 20-40 pages depending on who's around. frick.
Just realized that every post I make here means I have more to read to catch up. And in two months you guys will probably have added another 20-40 pages depending on who's around. frick.
Posted on 6/26/15 at 9:31 pm to FT
quote:
'm in the process of reading this entire thread. Seriously. I have set this as a challenge for myself.
This thread is almost as long as ASOIAF novel.
Posted on 6/26/15 at 9:34 pm to Methuselah
quote:
HotBlack Desiato
Slight hijack - Desiato's bodyguard in the BBC television series was the body of Darth Vader - David Prowse. And Disaster Area was a riff by Adams on his friends, Pink Floyd about how much stupid money they were making in the 70s - more money than they could count.
And you and I are probably the only cats in here who get the reference.
Posted on 6/26/15 at 9:47 pm to Ace Midnight
quote:It'll take longer, though, cause starting on page 110 I'll be trying to catalogue the theories and I'll also want to research a ton of them.
This thread is almost as long as ASOIAF novel.
Posted on 6/26/15 at 11:54 pm to FT
The work has begun!
This post was edited on 6/26/15 at 11:58 pm
Posted on 6/27/15 at 2:10 am to FT
quote:
The work has begun!
Posted on 6/27/15 at 2:19 am to FT
The fookin legend of Gin alley
Posted on 6/27/15 at 2:34 am to wildtigercat93
ASOIAF Crackpot Theory Thread Catalogue
NOTE: This catalogue does not include every single theory. Theories that were shot down immediately with evidence from the books do not appear here. All other theories, no matter how farfetched, are included. Only impossible or disproven theories are left out and any theory with even a shred of plausibility is included. Theories that are rehashed multiple times also won’t be included as separate entries, but if I see two large discussions of the same topic I’ll put in page numbers for both discussions where possible. Credit is given to theorists where possible, and I'm doing my best to briefly summarize theories. If you think your theory is incorrectly summarized, feel free to suck my balls. This is already a hard job.
Catalogue of Crackpot Theories From Page 110-150:
There is a dragon egg in or near the wall, white with red specks. Seems to point to Jon. – Page 112, Poster: skirpnasty
Jon Snow will be the “bizarro” Azor Ahai, and will ride an Ice Dragon, be armored in ice and wield a Dragon Glass Sword. – Page 115, Poster: 19
Sansa will kill or defeat Littlefinger; this is foreshadowed by Robert Arryn’s smashing her ice castle with his toy giant, and her ripping the toy giant’s head off. – Page 117, Poster: skirpnasty
Arya is the Valonquar, and kills Cersei to fulfill the prophecy. – Page 118, Poster: jrodLSUke
Dorne sides with Aegon and helps him claim the Iron Throne; Tommen is killed. – Page 119, Poster: NIH
Euron is the Dusky Woman; he has learned the skill of being faceless. – Page 119, Poster: NIH
Mance Rayder = Ser Arthur Dayne. – Page 120, Poster: skirpnasty
Mance Rayder = Rhaegar Targaryen. – Page 121, Poster: skirpnasty
Darkstar = Aegon VI. – Page 122, Poster: jrodLSUke
The Others are not ruined Greenseers or Children of the Forest; they were created by the Children of the Forest, or at least serve them. – Page 123, Poster: 19
Randyll Tarly will betray Mace Tyrell, and kill Aegon to show fealty to Danerys Targaryen. – Page 125, Poster NIH
Littlefinger will try to kill Rickon to strengthen Sansa’s claim, and Sansa will kill Littlefinger as a result. – Page 126, OMLandshark
General discussion of people with fake identities (R+l=J, Varys=Blackfyre, etc.). – Page 127, All Posters
Jon wargs into ghost, and meets Varaymyr Sixskins, who teaches him how to use his abilities. – Page 131, Poster: Slinger16
Loras Tyrell is alive and well, and Dragonstone is still held by Stannis. It was never even attacked, and the Tyrells have something major planned. – Page 136, Poster: NIH
Either Kevan, Tysha or the Red Viper poisoned Tywin Lannister before Tyrion killed him. Tysha=Shea. (lots of discussion of this topic on several pages). – Page 148, Poster: 19
Varys and his sister Serra are Blackfyres, and Serra gave birth to Illyrio’s son. Varys and Illyrio are working to make her son King of the Seven Kingdoms. – Page 149, Poster: NIH
Varys killed Ned Stark, not Littlefinger. – Page 149, Poster: Slinger16
NOTE: This catalogue does not include every single theory. Theories that were shot down immediately with evidence from the books do not appear here. All other theories, no matter how farfetched, are included. Only impossible or disproven theories are left out and any theory with even a shred of plausibility is included. Theories that are rehashed multiple times also won’t be included as separate entries, but if I see two large discussions of the same topic I’ll put in page numbers for both discussions where possible. Credit is given to theorists where possible, and I'm doing my best to briefly summarize theories. If you think your theory is incorrectly summarized, feel free to suck my balls. This is already a hard job.
Catalogue of Crackpot Theories From Page 110-150:
There is a dragon egg in or near the wall, white with red specks. Seems to point to Jon. – Page 112, Poster: skirpnasty
Jon Snow will be the “bizarro” Azor Ahai, and will ride an Ice Dragon, be armored in ice and wield a Dragon Glass Sword. – Page 115, Poster: 19
Sansa will kill or defeat Littlefinger; this is foreshadowed by Robert Arryn’s smashing her ice castle with his toy giant, and her ripping the toy giant’s head off. – Page 117, Poster: skirpnasty
Arya is the Valonquar, and kills Cersei to fulfill the prophecy. – Page 118, Poster: jrodLSUke
Dorne sides with Aegon and helps him claim the Iron Throne; Tommen is killed. – Page 119, Poster: NIH
Euron is the Dusky Woman; he has learned the skill of being faceless. – Page 119, Poster: NIH
Mance Rayder = Ser Arthur Dayne. – Page 120, Poster: skirpnasty
Mance Rayder = Rhaegar Targaryen. – Page 121, Poster: skirpnasty
Darkstar = Aegon VI. – Page 122, Poster: jrodLSUke
The Others are not ruined Greenseers or Children of the Forest; they were created by the Children of the Forest, or at least serve them. – Page 123, Poster: 19
Randyll Tarly will betray Mace Tyrell, and kill Aegon to show fealty to Danerys Targaryen. – Page 125, Poster NIH
Littlefinger will try to kill Rickon to strengthen Sansa’s claim, and Sansa will kill Littlefinger as a result. – Page 126, OMLandshark
General discussion of people with fake identities (R+l=J, Varys=Blackfyre, etc.). – Page 127, All Posters
Jon wargs into ghost, and meets Varaymyr Sixskins, who teaches him how to use his abilities. – Page 131, Poster: Slinger16
Loras Tyrell is alive and well, and Dragonstone is still held by Stannis. It was never even attacked, and the Tyrells have something major planned. – Page 136, Poster: NIH
Either Kevan, Tysha or the Red Viper poisoned Tywin Lannister before Tyrion killed him. Tysha=Shea. (lots of discussion of this topic on several pages). – Page 148, Poster: 19
Varys and his sister Serra are Blackfyres, and Serra gave birth to Illyrio’s son. Varys and Illyrio are working to make her son King of the Seven Kingdoms. – Page 149, Poster: NIH
Varys killed Ned Stark, not Littlefinger. – Page 149, Poster: Slinger16
Posted on 6/27/15 at 5:40 am to FT
Great work. My thoughts on a couple in light of the most recent stuff (the show through season 5 and the books through the sample chapters of WoW):
Certainly possible. And with Sansa in Winterfell (or in a snowdrift right outside the wall at this exact moment) it could happen. Especially if Littlefinger brings the Night's of the Vale to attack the Boltons and Winterfell is greatly damaged during the battle.
I've always thought this was a very likely possibility in the books (the alliance, not necessarily the victory). And I'm pretty sure one of the princesses of Dorne went to meet Aegon to explore an alliance/marriage. But with the show skipping Aegon all together and not presenting Doran as calculating as he appeared in the books I'm thinking maybe Aegon was a dead end and Doran didn't pull the trigger (maybe he never got word about Frog).
There is a good bit of circumstantial evidence for the theory. Though I'd rule out Kevan: the Viper is a definite possibility and maybe Tysha/Shea working for LF or Varys (wouldn't that devastate Tyrion if he found out after he's killed her). But I don't see the import of the theory so I kind of discount it.
I'd say its very likely that at least Illyrio's wife was a Blackfyre and he and Varys were working to put Illyrio's and Serra's son (ie: "Aegon") on the throne. Not sure if Serra is Varys sister though. But again, with the show skipping Aegon I'm guessing he didn't prevail. Though I guess they could maybe conflate Aegon with Danny in the show (but it makes my head hurt trying to figure out if they could have successfully switched her at birth or soon thereafter)
quote:
Sansa will kill or defeat Littlefinger; this is foreshadowed by Robert Arryn’s smashing her ice castle with his toy giant, and her ripping the toy giant’s head off. – Page 117, Poster: skirpnasty
Certainly possible. And with Sansa in Winterfell (or in a snowdrift right outside the wall at this exact moment) it could happen. Especially if Littlefinger brings the Night's of the Vale to attack the Boltons and Winterfell is greatly damaged during the battle.
quote:
Dorne sides with Aegon and helps him claim the Iron Throne; Tommen is killed. – Page 119, Poster: NIH
I've always thought this was a very likely possibility in the books (the alliance, not necessarily the victory). And I'm pretty sure one of the princesses of Dorne went to meet Aegon to explore an alliance/marriage. But with the show skipping Aegon all together and not presenting Doran as calculating as he appeared in the books I'm thinking maybe Aegon was a dead end and Doran didn't pull the trigger (maybe he never got word about Frog).
quote:
Either Kevan, Tysha or the Red Viper poisoned Tywin Lannister before Tyrion killed him. Tysha=Shea. (lots of discussion of this topic on several pages). – Page 148, Poster: 19
There is a good bit of circumstantial evidence for the theory. Though I'd rule out Kevan: the Viper is a definite possibility and maybe Tysha/Shea working for LF or Varys (wouldn't that devastate Tyrion if he found out after he's killed her). But I don't see the import of the theory so I kind of discount it.
quote:
Varys and his sister Serra are Blackfyres, and Serra gave birth to Illyrio’s son. Varys and Illyrio are working to make her son King of the Seven Kingdoms. – Page 149, Poster: NIH
I'd say its very likely that at least Illyrio's wife was a Blackfyre and he and Varys were working to put Illyrio's and Serra's son (ie: "Aegon") on the throne. Not sure if Serra is Varys sister though. But again, with the show skipping Aegon I'm guessing he didn't prevail. Though I guess they could maybe conflate Aegon with Danny in the show (but it makes my head hurt trying to figure out if they could have successfully switched her at birth or soon thereafter)
Posted on 6/27/15 at 7:18 pm to FT
I think varys could be serra. His claim to being a eunich is only verified that he openly admits to it. The bald head helps hide the gender and lineage.
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