re: Crackpot ASOIAF Theories SPOILERS

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Exactly. Regardless, I think LF's plans are going to be thwarted somehow. Winter is here.

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I just got back from an advanced showing of the Season 4 premiere, and this may or may not come as a complete surprise to you, but it's kind of awesome. For those of you who want to be surprised when it airs next week, stop reading now. For those of you who are interested in hearing what happens, I will list a few plot points and answer any questions you may have:

• We finally see the fate of Ice The first scene of the premiere is of Ice being melted down into two swords for Jamie and Joffrey. We also see Jaime being fitted for his new hand, and the beginnings of conflict between Jaime and Cersei. It felt really odd to sympathize with Jaime for not being able to bang his sister

. • Prince Oberyn will play a major role Looks like Price Oberyn will be a central character in Season 4, which should be very entertaining if his first scene is any indication. He is explicitly portrayed as bisexual, and immediately expresses his enmity toward the Lannisters in general and Ser Gregor in particular. Also, I forgot to mention that Pod looks a lot older now, as does Bran (though the actor who plays Jojen seems to never age)

• The Thenns join the Wildlings The Magnar of Thenn looks like Xerxes from 300 -- super tall, with ritual scars criss-crossing his bald head. They are explicitly shown to be cannibals, and there's a lot of great tension between the Magnar and Tormund Giantsbane. Meanwhile, the rivalry between Janos Slynt and Jon Snow is immediately established -- Slynt is shown to be high up in the Night's Watch, though Alliser Thorne states that he himself is Acting Lord Commander.

• The new actor playing Daario is much better If you thought the Daario Naharis of Season 3 was too much of a pretty boy, you'll probably like the new version. His first scene involves a bet with Grey Worm which is fairly comical, but also sets up his rivalry with the rest of Dany's top lieutenants

. • Arya crosses another name off her list The Hound and Arya stop at the Inn at the Crossing, and the ensuing scene is just as exciting as the Hound's duel with Lord Beric. The Hound does not get injured though, so who knows how they're going to play that out.

• The episode is hilarious! Of course every episode has a few funny moments, and maybe this is due to watching it in a large group at a theater that serves beer, but I was somewhat surprised by how much the audience laughed during the episode (including myself). A lot of great repartee and funny acting beats.

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There's no doubt that Lena and Pedro were/are fricking.

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