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Started By
Message
Woke Church Bans 'Jesus Loves The Little Children' For Suggesting Jesus Loves White Kids
Posted on 1/15/21 at 7:45 pm
Posted on 1/15/21 at 7:45 pm
quote:
PORTLAND, OR—Freelove Community Church has announced its children's ministry will no longer be singing the classic song "Jesus Loves The Little Children" for its "problematic implication" that Jesus also loves white kids.
"Red, yellow, brown, black, and WHITE!?! Excuse me!?!" said children's minister Taser Von Queesha as she looked over Sunday's agenda. "Nuh-uh, not on my watch. We are dismantling the white supremacist patriarchy one kids' Bible song at a time."
Some church members just wanted to change the lyrics to "Red, yellow, brown, black, NOT white," but decided even mentioning white people in a kids' worship song might be triggering for some racially traumatized youngsters. Others suggested having a white kid go up to the front of the Sunday school class and have the other kids beat him with a pool noodle. But again, then the rest of the class would have to see a white kid.
The song "B-I-B-L-E" has also been banned for suggesting the Bible is the Word of God, sources confirmed at publishing time.
Babylon Bee
This post was edited on 1/15/21 at 7:46 pm
11
Posted on 1/15/21 at 7:47 pm to L.A.
It’s true. Little children belong to the politicians and Hollywood.
Posted on 1/15/21 at 7:47 pm to L.A.
How sad is it that the Bee could almost be real .
Posted on 1/15/21 at 7:48 pm to L.A.
The Bee is gonna have to kick it up a notch, they are seeming like real news these days.
Posted on 1/15/21 at 7:52 pm to L.A.
Ole Taser Face.
Posted on 1/15/21 at 7:55 pm to L.A.
It's scary how real this actually is 
Posted on 1/15/21 at 7:55 pm to L.A.
Portland, watcha expect pffft.
Posted on 1/15/21 at 7:58 pm to L.A.
Is there no end to the madness of leftists?
Posted on 1/15/21 at 8:03 pm to L.A.
quote:
said children's minister Taser Von Queesha
Posted on 1/15/21 at 8:04 pm to LuckyTiger
quote:
Is there no end to the madness of leftists?
In all seriousness if you look at the language they use to talk about race the end point is violence honestly. They tell other kids that whites are oppressors who built and support a system of exploitation that they continue to profit from at the expense of others, the sins of their ancestors are theirs in the present as well, they have never been held accountable for those sins, and... go out and live peacefully alongside them?
Posted on 1/15/21 at 8:05 pm to L.A.
But.... but.... it’s red and yellow, black, and white...
The whites come last in the song so, we should be good to go?!?
The whites come last in the song so, we should be good to go?!?
Posted on 1/15/21 at 8:07 pm to L.A.
Thought it was real all the way to the bee link. That’s sad
Posted on 1/15/21 at 8:09 pm to L.A.
Man I'm usually pretty good at recognizing satire right away, but I had to scroll down on this one because I just couldn't be sure.
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