re: You Baws ever find family from 23andMe?

...that awkward moment when Alabamans realize 23andMe isn't a dating site

We had a long lost cousin find us on some site, within 3 phone calls she was wanting to borrow 50 thousand dollars. To hell with that.

My paternal great-grandfather (father's father's father) and his predecessors have been a great mystery to the family.

He died years before my parents met and my grandfather basically kept him and most of his own siblings at arm's length. As I grew up I knew all my kin from my paternal grandmother's side as well as both sides from my mother's side of the family.

My grandfather wouldn't speak much about his family, the most I remember him saying was after some guy came through doing genealogy research. My grandfather's response to me on that was "don't shake that (family) tree, you don't know what kinds of nuts may fall out".

Flash forward decades later (and decades after he and all his contemporaries are gone) and I get the genealogy bug and since that side is a mystery and I had done the DNA thing through Ancestry.com...

After doing some digging I find that my great-grandfather was adopted by his uncle (this was somewhat known, but nice to have it confirmed) but not who his parents were. I also found multiple arrest reports for him being drunk and fighting (no mention of Sonics). And then finally a story about his wife being "accidentally" run over by a train (apparently he was an abusive drunk, whispered family rumor has always been that she committed Suicide By Train and the newspaper story seems to indicate that if you read between the lines).

During all of this I ended up getting in contact with a son of my grandfather's youngest brother (ie: a great-uncle). It turns out that sibling was only a few years older than my father and my father idolized him. He was also at least as big a piece of shite as my great-grandfather as he eventually came to live with my grandfather and his family but then my grandfather kicked him out and cut off any communications with him because he kept getting arrested (drunk and disorderly, fighting, etc).

This cousin basically lives life from bowl of weed to bowl of weed ("I only smoke two bowls a day" was his comment) after a life spent as a roofer (his career ended when he injured his back after falling off a roof).



We had the one phone call, he kept calling me by my father's name (which is also my first name but I never go by it outside of legal documents) and that was it. It was polite and cordial, but a bit concerning as he seemed to latch onto this with a passive-aggressive desperation of someone who had been on a deserted island for decades and finally met a new person.

My dad was an alcoholic as was my cousin (same side of the family) so I know the warning signs of co-dependency and this guy had it to spare. From a few nuggets during our phone call I realized he was positioning me to start asking for money. I decided to let this sleeping dog go back to sleep and move away from it so I never contacted him again.

Over the following years I have randomly gotten increasingly demanding and aggressive text messages from him. Nothing threatening, just incoherent rage in an attempt to elicit a response. He lives on the other side of the country and from our hours-long chat that one time I got the distinct feeling that he doesn't have the means to travel far. Still, it's annoying and underscores what my grandfather tried to tell me all those years ago.

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Apparently have some family in the Ukraine. My dad's dad banged a woman when he was stationed there,

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SecLint
I will bet you a lunch.

The usa has never stationed your relative in the Ukraine.

It was under the soviets from the 20s.



Currently we have a contingent training paratroopers there.

What story were you told?
What years?
Unit?

I may be in the minority, but I don't care at all about finding unknown or lost family members. My sister and I have argued over this for a couple years now. She wants to know, but I don't and have so far convinced her not to.
And, I just don't want to voluntarily pass around my DNA like it is sending out a Christmas card.

Yes.

1. Cousins i knew. We've met up since.

2. Cousins i did not previously meet. Just sharing info on internet.
They are east coast usa and eastern canada.

Fwiw, some of my family from ontario and Quebec. The rest ny, nj and new england.

People are still giving their DNA away, and actually paying to give it away to the Feds?

America is about dumbed down as it can get.

stay away from this,it is all about personal datamining they are connected to google,youtube peeps

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stay away from this,it is all about personal datamining they are connected to google,youtube peeps

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I don't known about all that. I just know that I have more than enough problems with the family I DO know, I don't need to throw out a net and drag more issues into the boat.
And, I don't like the idea of just handing over my DNA for funsies.

Interesting topic.

I'm adopted. Never cared to know birth parents for years. My adopted parents were my parents in my mind.

This whole "journey to find my parents thing" started when the kids asked about my background a couple of years ago. Their heritage. Medical issues. So, last year, did a test on Ancestry, and just last month, ended up doing 23andMe as well. Mainly to see what my ancestry was and possibly see if there are any correlations out there.

I ended up with 2 "Close Family–1st Cousin" matches, and they have a brother. Dear ol' apparent Dad had no siblings, so, two half sisters and one half brother. They didn't know of any relationship their dad had the year before he married their mother. So, a year previous, I was conceived and guess I was a "love child". They didn't know anything else about why he was in Florida or who he had relationships with. We've corresponded several times but I d doubt we ever connect. No information on the birth mother.

The same 1st Cousin showed up on 23andMe as was on Ancestry. He's adopted too, so we've corresponded. We share grandparents so my mother is likely a sister to his dad.

I'm kind of like "let's get this done", so I'm "balls to the wall" in the search at this point. There is an adoption record with the State, but they can only share non-identifying information. I've petitioned the court of the County where the adoption was completed to open up the record and have the State serve as an intermediary to research family records and possibly contact the mother or family members if they're alive. They won't reveal names in the State of Florida, which kind of sucks for adopted children.

So, we'll see what happens next.