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Started By
Message
re: Why do women make men do things they don't want to do
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:26 am to Odysseus32
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:26 am to Odysseus32
quote:
Recently, my wife let me know that she wanted to go see Khruangbin in New Orleans and asked if I wanted to go. I responded that being I didn’t listen to them, I would be perfectly happy if she went with a friend who would be more into it, but if she wanted me there, I was there. She ultimately decided she wanted me there. We got dinner before, went to the show, and while it didn’t change my life, there were parts I genuinely enjoyed. And afterwards, when she asked me whether I enjoyed the show, you know what we talked about? Those parts I enjoyed. Know what I didn’t bring up? Parts I didn’t enjoy.
Best response in this thread.
OP, idk your wife but if my wife asks me to go to something it’s because she wants to share it with me. Anything she wants to share with me, it would probably make her pretty happy if I went in with an open mind. If I go in with an open mind and I’m really uncomfortable somewhere, I’ll tell my wife I’m ready to go and, knowing I’m not an a-hole, she will figure that it must be pretty serious because I’m also asking her to leave something she wants to leave. I wouldn’t do that unless I was seriously uncomfortable.
How hard is it to enjoy the fact that you get to do something with your spouse?
You know one day one of you is going to be dead and the other will be wishing you had a bit more time?
Or maybe not. Maybe a lot of folks on this board shouldn’t be married in the first place.
I'll give this another +1
OP, quite frankly, you sound like a petulant 6-year-old whose mother asked him to clean his room, so he does it with a pouty face the whole time, does a half-assed job, and then says "SEE? I DID IT. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?"
The problem isn't your SO. Sounds like she's wired like pretty much any female is. The bigger problem seems to be your ego and fragile sense of pride.
I'd advise you to grow up and put your big boy pants on. Sometimes we do things in life that aren't our particular cup of tea, but because it means something special to the person we (supposedly) love and treasure.
2
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:26 am to SlowFlowPro
quote:
The primary difference is that men are typically fine doing these activities alone. Our partner accompanying us is not a form of intimacy for us.
IDK if you never do things the other person enjoys with them, then really whats the point of the relationship.
quote:
Just like how bitching and complaining, er, venting, is not a form of stress relief for us.
You mean like how the OP isn't on here bitching and complaining to relieve his stress about the situation.
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:27 am to RogerTheShrubber
quote:
So you think if some dude isnt a passive aggressive pussy, he shouldnt be married?
I’m not sure you’re using passive aggressive correctly. You should consult Google.
And no I’m not. There’s nothing passive nor aggressive about being excited your wife (again, your wife. Not some random chick. The woman you’ve decided is special enough to commit your life to) wants you to join her in something she finds exciting and deciding that she (again, your wife) would be really happy if you went into with an open mind. All the while knowing there’s enough respect between the two of you that if you are really that uncomfortable or that miserable she would return the favor and understand that your misery in that moment is greater than her joy.
Doesn’t seem passive or aggressive to me.
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:28 am to Odysseus32
quote:
And no I’m not. There’s nothing passive nor aggressive about being excited your wife
How many years you been married? I say less than two.
Sounds like she has no respect for you or your boundaries, baw.
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:28 am to HoustonChick86
There are those that aspire to understand the NATURE of the opposite sex and those who don’t. Both types in this thread. Desiring the best possible relationship for me begins with understanding women and their needs. Then I can decide to opt out or opt in.
I have learned more about women in the last 5-6 years then all the years before . All that starts by understanding the nature of the sexes. Something we should be teaching kids instead of learning about after bad relationships collapse.
Do women know what men want/need and vice versa? If not, how can that be a good thing? I think I know what women need. I don’t think I did as recently as three years ago.
I have learned more about women in the last 5-6 years then all the years before . All that starts by understanding the nature of the sexes. Something we should be teaching kids instead of learning about after bad relationships collapse.
Do women know what men want/need and vice versa? If not, how can that be a good thing? I think I know what women need. I don’t think I did as recently as three years ago.
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:29 am to SlowFlowPro
quote:
imagine a lot of the times you had to sit through something boring for him, he was able and willing to do it alone but you wanted in..
Very overlooked point here fellas.
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:29 am to poncho villa
What's worse than that is that my wife flr some unknown reason can't take the kids to go look at Chrostmas lights without me. So naturally, of course it's my fault that they can't go.
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:29 am to poncho villa
Here's the kicker boys
I was promised a BJ if I went and guess who didn't get one.
I was promised a BJ if I went and guess who didn't get one.
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:29 am to UGATiger26
quote:
I'd advise you to grow up and put your big boy pants on.
Sounds like his wife wears them now.
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:30 am to Joshjrn
Wisest response in this thread.
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:30 am to Odysseus32
quote:
quote:
Recently, my wife let me know that she wanted to go see Khruangbin in New Orleans and asked if I wanted to go. I responded that being I didn’t listen to them, I would be perfectly happy if she went with a friend who would be more into it, but if she wanted me there, I was there. She ultimately decided she wanted me there. We got dinner before, went to the show, and while it didn’t change my life, there were parts I genuinely enjoyed. And afterwards, when she asked me whether I enjoyed the show, you know what we talked about? Those parts I enjoyed. Know what I didn’t bring up? Parts I didn’t enjoy.
Best response in this thread.
OP, idk your wife but if my wife asks me to go to something it’s because she wants to share it with me. Anything she wants to share with me, it would probably make her pretty happy if I went in with an open mind. If I go in with an open mind and I’m really uncomfortable somewhere, I’ll tell my wife I’m ready to go and, knowing I’m not an a-hole, she will figure that it must be pretty serious because I’m also asking her to leave something she wants to leave. I wouldn’t do that unless I was seriously uncomfortable.
How hard is it to enjoy the fact that you get to do something with your spouse?
You know one day one of you is going to be dead and the other will be wishing you had a bit more time?
Or maybe not. Maybe a lot of folks on this board shouldn’t be married in the first place.
Guys, we can enjoy each others company without having to change their tampons, ok.
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:34 am to LSUSkip
quote:
What's worse than that is that my wife flr some unknown reason can't take the kids to go look at Chrostmas lights without me. So naturally, of course it's my fault that they can't go.
Well WTF don't you want to look at Christmas lights with you children. That's you missing out on something with them, not just your wife.
Geez you Grinch.
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:35 am to RogerTheShrubber
quote:
Sounds like his wife wears them now.
Because she asked him to go to something with her? Holy shite, the humanity! Your wife wants to spend time with you that isn't having sex? I honestly cannot fathom this level of blatant disrespect and "lack of boundaries." Get those divorce papers ready, baw!
Funny that the guys who can't handle a few hours of doing something they don't like are the ones trying to portray themselves as the "real men."
We all know real men tuck tail and run from anything that doesn't bring them instant gratification and self-indulgence!
This post was edited on 12/18/24 at 9:37 am
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:36 am to RogerTheShrubber
quote:
How many years you been married? I say less than two.
Going on 8, but I appreciate the concern.
But your comment has prompted me to think. Before I was with my wife, I was in a relationship with a girl for 2.5 years in which I was unconsciously miserable. I was fed up with her stuff and anything she asked me to do was a battle.
This was because I didn’t like her. I think the crux of the issue is most of you don’t understand marriage because you’re married to someone you don’t actually like.
Marriage is NOT a business deal, as I’ve read so many times on this board.
This post was edited on 12/18/24 at 9:37 am
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:36 am to UGATiger26
quote:
I'd advise you to grow up and put your big boy pants on. Sometimes we do things in life that aren't our particular cup of tea, but because it means something special to the person we (supposedly) love and treasure.
You sound like a little bitch that lets everyone walk all over you.
She said after I said it was boring she wouldn't invite me to a show again and I said thanks. That's why I'm in the doghouse
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:37 am to Lsupimp
quote:
There are those that aspire to understand the NATURE of the opposite sex and those who don’t. Both types in this thread.
This is true. Men and women are different. If you want to be happy in a relationship, you're going to have to accept that and work on proper communication to make sure everyone's wants/needs are met.
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:37 am to Odysseus32
quote:
Going on 8, but I appreciate the concern.
You gave that soliloquy after only 8 years of marriage?
OMG
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:37 am to UGATiger26
quote:
Because she asked him to go to something with her?
Because she has no respect for him.
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:38 am to jizzle6609
They talk a big game about women being loose yet they cant tell a whore to go kick rocks when shes throwing that nasty coochie there way.
quote:
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Bingo. these nerds think its the last piece of arse they'll ever get so they sell out.
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:39 am to jizzle6609
quote:
Ill never understand these types of men but I see them often and I think I know the reason but thats neither here nor there.
These type of "men" create drama queens and narcissists.
Their lady has them by the scrotum and isnt letting go.
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