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Why are cheaters scared their SO is also cheating?
Posted on 3/21/18 at 9:16 am
Posted on 3/21/18 at 9:16 am
I can't seem to wrap my head around it. Can some of you that have been on both sides of this spectrum shed some light on this subject, please?
This post was edited on 3/21/18 at 9:25 am
16
Posted on 3/21/18 at 9:16 am to finchmeister08
Cheaters are generally attracted to other cheaters
Posted on 3/21/18 at 9:17 am to finchmeister08
It's called projection, and they are generally very selfish people.
Posted on 3/21/18 at 9:18 am to finchmeister08
Because it normalizes their behavior if they think their spouse is doing it too.
This post was edited on 3/21/18 at 9:18 am
Posted on 3/21/18 at 9:19 am to TH03
How is this not obvious?
Posted on 3/21/18 at 9:19 am to finchmeister08
Guilt
Posted on 3/21/18 at 9:19 am to finchmeister08
It's all about control. They do whatever they want to do but their SO better not be doing it.
Posted on 3/21/18 at 9:20 am to finchmeister08
did you edit the title or did someone else remove the "SPINOFF" part
Posted on 3/21/18 at 9:21 am to bigberg2000
Self abdorbed, narcissitic tendencies.
Posted on 3/21/18 at 9:23 am to TH03
quote:
Because it normalizes their behavior if they think their spouse is doing it too.
it's one thing to think, "i don't care about this broad. i'm gonna get some strange."
it's another to think, "i think this girl might be cheating. i'm gonna do the same."
i would think if you didn't care enough about the person to start cheating on them, you wouldn't care enough about the repercussions of doing it. so in my mind, if you cheat, you shouldn't give a shite what the other person will doing.
Posted on 3/21/18 at 9:24 am to finchmeister08
Only women do that.
Posted on 3/21/18 at 9:24 am to Winston Cup
quote:
did you edit the title or did someone else remove the "SPINOFF" part
someone removed it. they should've just finished off the title for me while they were at it.
Posted on 3/21/18 at 9:27 am to finchmeister08
quote:
it's another to think, "i think this girl might be cheating. i'm gonna do the same."
No they cheat, then they project their lies on to their spouse because it's easier for them to think they're okay if the spouse is cheating too.
For instance:
Cheater comes home late because he was with a girl. Tells his wife he was at the office.
Next day, his wife comes home late because she actually had to work late. Cheater then questions if she was actually at work, because he knows he wasn't when he said he was.
He's now projecting his lies onto her because of his fear of being caught. It's more convenient for him to believe she is cheating too because it normalizes his behavior.
Posted on 3/21/18 at 9:29 am to finchmeister08
Once you corrupt yourself, I believe you just can’t go back to your old self. Trust goes away as the selfishness / control takes hold.
Posted on 3/21/18 at 9:30 am to finchmeister08
1) Cheating requires sneaking around and lying. You're always on guard to make sure you're covering your tracks, and reading the emotions and behavior of your SO to make sure they're not on to you. This leads to paranoia.
2) You're ashamed of your behavior and it makes you feel better to assume that you're not the only one behaving in this way.
2) You're ashamed of your behavior and it makes you feel better to assume that you're not the only one behaving in this way.
Posted on 3/21/18 at 9:31 am to TH03
quote:
Cheater comes home late because he was with a girl. Tells his wife he was at the office.
Next day, his wife comes home late because she actually had to work late. Cheater then questions if she was actually at work, because he knows he wasn't when he said he was.
He's now projecting his lies onto her because of his fear of being caught. It's more convenient for him to believe she is cheating too because it normalizes his behavior.
THIS reads A LOT like a first person kind of story.
Posted on 3/21/18 at 9:32 am to finchmeister08
Because cheaters are lying tPOS assholes and can’t take a dose of their own medicine
Posted on 3/21/18 at 9:33 am to finchmeister08
I think your premise is flawed. I think the narcissist cheater variety probably thinks his wife would never cheat on him because he’s so awesome.
Posted on 3/21/18 at 9:35 am to Displaced
quote:
It's called projection, and they are generally very selfish people.
This.
If they don’t give them an “excuse” to cheat, they make one up.
Posted on 3/21/18 at 9:36 am to finchmeister08
Everyone I've known that seem to cheat are also very insecure and overly possessive in relationships.
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