re: Why are 30+ year old women so delusional ?

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For someone so amazing, you are so insecure. I can smell it all over you

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Ah, the ole "If you don't want a woman that's slept with 100 guys it's because you're insecure" card.
Not only do people no longer have morals, they can't even comprehend the concept of morals or people that live by certain morals & standards.

Dude.

The women in that age range who are not married without kids probably have that 100 body count you’re suggesting… NOT the woman who’s been locked down since her early 20s. LOL.

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Look, YouTube is full of women validating his post, live and on camera.

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YouTube is full of a lot of things, very little of which is the norm, except sometimes the norm for people who are attention-seekers.

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Doesn't mean you're one of them,

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I most assuredly am not, being a 63-year-old man.

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but a WHOLE lot of women these days have been sold a feminist bill of goods

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That goes back to women my age and even older.

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that goes something like this:

1. Women should be strong and independent.

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I tried to raise my daughters to be like this. The reason is that a strong independent woman makes for a much better life partner(I believe that should be marriage) and is not out shopping for a man to take care of her. But being strong and independent does not mean being aloof or pretending you don't need people. I think that is what sometimes gets lost.

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2. Therefore, women don't need men, because they can and should do anything men can do.

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I do not believe that is the necessary conclusion but it has been the line often fed to people, that is true.

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3. Also therefore, what gives a woman value to men is the same thing that gives men value to women. Ability to provide, professional competence, confidence/independence, etc.

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I have never understood that line of thinking, it is unfortunate that some have that. I'm closing in on my 33rd year of marriage and the intrinsic value of my wife is beyond anything that she can or has done for me and our family.

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4. A woman's own personal whims are more important than sacrificing for a family. Sacrificing is slavery and women have put up with it for far too long.

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I honestly don't know any decent person who feels that way.

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5. IF a woman decides to take a man, she shouldn't settle for any old man; she should have high standards and stick to them.

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I think that is true of a man or a woman, provided the criteria is not superficial and those high standards are reasonable.

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A man should be in shape, financially provide for the family/couple by earning high six figures, be willing to sacrifice for the relationship, provide for all the woman's emotional needs, and value the woman for the strong, independent goddess that she is.

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Again, I do not personally know anyone who thinks this way. Some of those things make a some sense, if expected mutually.

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So what happens is that women either refuse to commit to any man in their 20s or they get married and then divorce the man once they decide that the grass might be greener elsewhere.

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The divorce part is actually happening less now than it did to people in our age range, the back-end boomers and early gen-Xers.

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Then they get on dating apps (because they really DO need a man) and because of the whole "women should have high standards" stuff 95% of the women ignore 95% of the men and they all end up competing for 5% of the men.

That's a statistical fact, and it's verified by tracking these apps.

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So from this do you conclude what the OP did in the title of his post? 30+ year-old women are delusional. Not some, not those on dating apps, not those who are feminists. That would include your wife, my wife(58), and my 40-year-old married daughter.

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And it is also a statistical fact that as of 2024, over 2/3 of American women have been diagnosed with a mental/emotional condition.

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You used a pretty nebulous term when you said mental/emotional condition but the real fact is just under 27% of women have been diagnosed with a mental disorder. That is higher than men who are just under 20%.

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The point being that none of this narrative is making men or (especially) women happier

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We agree on this.

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it's actually making both of them miserable

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Only if you let it, there are plenty of people out there who are not buying into all of this. But you probably won't find them on most dating apps, especially since most seem more like hookup apps from what folks tell me.

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nd the guy to whom you are replying is relating a real phenomenon.

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More like he is pissing and moaning about something he can easily avoid but instead seems to mimicking, at least to a degree, the very behavior he is complaining about. At east it looks that way to me.

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It's a thing.

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It surely is, but it is not nearly universal.

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And before you attempt to deflect all of this by making an ad hom against me,

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While I am not above that where certain types of rants go, you presented a measured argument that, while I may take issue with parts, I think deserves better than an ad hominem attack. Plus us old guys need to look out for each other

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I have not been rejected by any divorced women in their 30s and 40s.

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I was never really in a position to have that happen but probably would have been given the opportunity.

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I have been happily married since I was 28 to the same woman. I'm 54 now.

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I was 30 when I married my current wife, I'm 63 now. This was my second marriage, the divorce was amicable, we got married very young and weren't prepared for the realities of marriage.

If the OP had titled the thread as a slightly different question "Are all 30+ year old women delusional?" rather than a question that presupposes the worst of every single person in that group as delusional, I probably would have viewed the whole thread differently.

I was single basically 30-early 40s in bigger cities like Austin, etc. it was my glory years I guess; dated a lot. My experiences:

Single mom’s in their 30s esp professionals, are a goldmine. I was in my ‘sewing oats’ phase and threw away a couple of really good opportunities. You have to find the right situation tho.

Mid to upper 30s and into 40s (men and women) that never married and no kids…very easy to see why once meeting. Typically very selfish, self centered individuals.

To each their own, just my worldly stereotype observations. Doesn’t mean there aren’t outliers.

I think these threads are very important to the 20 something guys, but I do wish these collections of wisdom would not degrade the way they always do.

I got married late in life and am the happiest ever. However, my lifetime
awesome career has really sucked over the last few years, so I am doubly glad that I am married.

I have seen first hand variations of two trends mentioned in this thread:

1) nice gal at work with somewhat odd but nice guy husband, office gals talk her into initiating a divorce in her 50's, she trashes her long term marriage, office girls then proceed to ghost her, she is left miserable: older and alone...with only a cat.


2) Attractive girl with much debt, evidence of poor choices personally and professionally, meets nice brilliant engineer with passion for automobiles, owns vacation property, owns his home, no debt, excellent retirement and ample savings. When the marriage was over 5 years later, his career was in shambles because she had him arrested at work, she got the house, her debts were wiped clean, and he was destitute. I think it was planned.

Be VERY careful out there !

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Zip it blondie

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Why did you choose not to answer the part of the question about how old you are?

How old are you? Tell us honestly.

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Attractive girl with much debt, evidence of poor choices personally and professionally, meets nice brilliant engineer with passion for automobiles, owns vacation property, owns his home, no debt, excellent retirement and ample savings. When the marriage was over 5 years later, his career was in shambles because she had him arrested at work, she got the house, her debts were wiped clean, and he was destitute. I think it was planned.

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Odds are she had BPD.

Those women are Satan's spawn.

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Complete trash balls who think they have some sort of moral superiority because they’re less trashy than they used to be cracks me up

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Ok bro. Just about everything I said was true though. The children of the boomers ended up being the worst off.

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More than that. They expect a man to be okay with being last priority behind another mans kids. My job is to raise my son and prep him to be an adult, not tell my gf to take a back seat while i coddle him.

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A child-centric view was likely part of the reason a lot of these “My kids will ALWAYS come first!” people’s first marriages broke up, too. Minor children are your #1 responsibility, as in providing for their needs and teaching them to be good, responsible people. Too many people think parenting is giving into kids’ wants and keeping them happy and entertained, and these same people also neglect their kids when it comes to teaching them life skills. Throw in an enmeshed or chaotic relationship with their ex “for the kids!” and you get these undateable 30-40 somethings OP referred to. They are likely over represented on dating sites because they keep making the same mistakes over and over. ETA i said “people”, as it’s not just women.

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I read all I could stand of your ignorance then decided to leave this reply.

First, mid-thirty and up but never married indicates that a man is a shite bird. Either he can and does womanize or he can’t even find a woman so he is angry from rejection. Neither is a healthy man. A healthy man would set attainable relationship partners and be decent.

I was a shite bird, had a kid by 23, lost the wife due to my desire for every other woman I saw. Continued this behavior until my late thirties when I realized I was not finding Mrs Right because I was a womanizing shite bird. Married just short of forty to be that “hero” who would be a great stepdad. That was a huge flop because biodad made his mission to undermine anything I did or said. Got divorced mid forties and hit the market. Damn tempting to go back to womanizing, it was so easy to get laid. Instead found a good one, I acted right, kids were all grown and we have had almost a decade of great years with more to come.

You are the problem and you will die alone if you can’t accept reality on a few levels where you seem very lost.

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Sounds like you made a lot of stupid decisions in your life.
I on the other hand have not.
You can always get married.
It's not like it's difficult to do , or some sort of accomplishment when you do.