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re: What were some funny things your high school coach did/said?
Posted on 8/12/15 at 9:43 am to PawnMaster
Posted on 8/12/15 at 9:43 am to PawnMaster
"God Damn boy! 4.0 in the classroom and a 1.0 on the god damn field!"
"Eeehhh, I'm (insert name of FB/TE), I like to bowl. God damn boy, if you took football half as serious as bowling you'd be something special."
- Don Jones, Woodlawn High School
Thankfully none of those were directed at me
ETA:
When we would play all black teams like Scotlandville, Jones would say
"This is one of those undisciplined teams"
Our team was 90% black
"Eeehhh, I'm (insert name of FB/TE), I like to bowl. God damn boy, if you took football half as serious as bowling you'd be something special."
- Don Jones, Woodlawn High School
Thankfully none of those were directed at me
ETA:
When we would play all black teams like Scotlandville, Jones would say
"This is one of those undisciplined teams"
Our team was 90% black
This post was edited on 8/12/15 at 9:47 am
2
Posted on 8/12/15 at 9:44 am to PawnMaster
"I'm gonna run ya til ya damn arse bleeds, boy."
Posted on 8/12/15 at 9:45 am to PawnMaster
"you seat on him"? No?!? "Sure as hell fooled me the way ya'll are dancin' around with that shite you call blockin'"!
"If he hurts my QB because you can't pick up that blitz, I'ma jump in your a-hole and do the backstroke out your mouth..you got me son"!!!
"Good thing you're a kicker because my daughter could pad up and destroy your candy arse"!
So many I remember...
"If he hurts my QB because you can't pick up that blitz, I'ma jump in your a-hole and do the backstroke out your mouth..you got me son"!!!
"Good thing you're a kicker because my daughter could pad up and destroy your candy arse"!
So many I remember...
Posted on 8/12/15 at 9:46 am to madmaxvol
One time my coach got tired of my shite and called me Jerry Lewis in front of all the parents. He then told me I had to admit that he was my daddy or some shite like that. Later on in camp, we all came together and learned to sing and dance to music that the black players liked. It was awesome. Then some dude kissed me and I got pissed. I really don't like to talk about that though.
Posted on 8/12/15 at 9:46 am to PawnMaster
Much love and respect to my HS coach. A damn fine man and mentor. He never said many funny things as he was intense, but that damned college ring to the helmet was LOUD!
Posted on 8/12/15 at 9:48 am to PawnMaster
This coach was a black redneck with a lisp to put things into perspective.
"If I could, I'd cut my balls off and tape them onto yall, just to say you had some."
"You're like a bunch of female dogs, except you have penises attached to you."
"Are you gonna hit or make love like a bunch of queers."
After reviewing our progress reports:
"I don't understand how 20% of you are failing and the other 70% of you are passing."
"If I could, I'd cut my balls off and tape them onto yall, just to say you had some."
"You're like a bunch of female dogs, except you have penises attached to you."
"Are you gonna hit or make love like a bunch of queers."
After reviewing our progress reports:
"I don't understand how 20% of you are failing and the other 70% of you are passing."
This post was edited on 8/12/15 at 9:50 am
Posted on 8/12/15 at 9:50 am to crimsonblazer
"Y'all stink worse than a frogs water tight arse"
"Whichever one of y'all stole my CD's I hope your moms pussy falls out"
"YA TARDY!"
"Whichever one of y'all stole my CD's I hope your moms pussy falls out"
"YA TARDY!"
This post was edited on 8/12/15 at 9:51 am
Posted on 8/12/15 at 9:51 am to PawnMaster
"You need a mack truck to haul arse"
"With hands like that, your girlfriend am St have some bruised titties"
"If you want sympathy, look it up in the dictionary between shite and syphillis (sp)"
"Excuses are like arse holes, everyone has one and they all stink"
Ahh coach gainey
"With hands like that, your girlfriend am St have some bruised titties"
"If you want sympathy, look it up in the dictionary between shite and syphillis (sp)"
"Excuses are like arse holes, everyone has one and they all stink"
Ahh coach gainey
Posted on 8/12/15 at 9:51 am to crimsonblazer
quote:
"I don't understand how 20% of you are failing and the other 70% of you are passing."
Posted on 8/12/15 at 9:53 am to BoogaBear
quote:
Whichever one of y'all stole my CD's I hope your moms pussy falls out"
Posted on 8/12/15 at 9:57 am to PawnMaster
In reference to our stellar defensive end performance:
"You two look like Beetle Bailey on roller skates"
"You two look like Beetle Bailey on roller skates"
Posted on 8/12/15 at 9:59 am to PapaPogey
quote:
"Ok guys, they're either gonna throw the ball or pass the ball!"-Coach Garidel CHS football
what years were you there?
when i played it was just a bunch of us small white kids, and the legendary coach varnado...80- 84
Posted on 8/12/15 at 9:59 am to LigerFan
"We couldn't pour piss out of a bucket."
"Do you guys like to play? I mean we can turn this into a badminton team and win state."
"There aint a swinging dick in here who can play a lick of defense."
"Do you guys like to play? I mean we can turn this into a badminton team and win state."
"There aint a swinging dick in here who can play a lick of defense."
This post was edited on 8/12/15 at 10:00 am
Posted on 8/12/15 at 10:00 am to cgrand
That quote was around 2002 I believe
Posted on 8/12/15 at 10:01 am to PawnMaster
"Dixon Tichonderoga, the best pencil money can buy! Make sure you fill ur backpacks up with those for school tomorrow, I want the best on the field and the classroom!"
Posted on 8/12/15 at 10:02 am to SG_Geaux
basketball coach, black guy, was in his late 30s/early 40s when I graduated
Game talk:
"damn he is quicker than cat shite"
"What In The frick was that? I didnt call that bull shite"
"set the down screen you white bitch"
"You are seriously one dumb mother fricker, sit your arse down"
"D (our best player) does what the frick D wants to do unless you assholes got a better plan"
"why do we practice? waste of fricking time. we all rather be fricking anyway"
Practice/locker room:
"this is why I dont play you white mother frickers. you mother frickers cant even do the shite right AGAINST US. How the frick you going to do the shite right AGAINST THEM?"
"yeah men, the angle of the dangle equals the heat of the meat"
"dont be messing around with them girls and become a bunch of cum freaks"
"oh yeah, come get it" (looking at a woman walking by the gym)
coach was banging two other divorced teachers. One of the divorced teachers lived on the way home to my house and we used to see coach's truck in her driveway after practice.
we played in tournament during X-mas break and the morning after Christmas we showed up for shoot around and coach was passed out on the sofa in his office still in his going out clothes from the night before
once got into a raging fight with another varsity coach from our school in front of both teams. was simply awesome
Game talk:
"damn he is quicker than cat shite"
"What In The frick was that? I didnt call that bull shite"
"set the down screen you white bitch"
"You are seriously one dumb mother fricker, sit your arse down"
"D (our best player) does what the frick D wants to do unless you assholes got a better plan"
"why do we practice? waste of fricking time. we all rather be fricking anyway"
Practice/locker room:
"this is why I dont play you white mother frickers. you mother frickers cant even do the shite right AGAINST US. How the frick you going to do the shite right AGAINST THEM?"
"yeah men, the angle of the dangle equals the heat of the meat"
"dont be messing around with them girls and become a bunch of cum freaks"
"oh yeah, come get it" (looking at a woman walking by the gym)
coach was banging two other divorced teachers. One of the divorced teachers lived on the way home to my house and we used to see coach's truck in her driveway after practice.
we played in tournament during X-mas break and the morning after Christmas we showed up for shoot around and coach was passed out on the sofa in his office still in his going out clothes from the night before
once got into a raging fight with another varsity coach from our school in front of both teams. was simply awesome
Posted on 8/12/15 at 10:03 am to PawnMaster
Perseverance is finishing first and third in a circle jerk
Posted on 8/12/15 at 10:07 am to PawnMaster
Following an incident in which a student threw a glass bottle onto the field during a game, hitting a cheerleader, the first year coach (who was switching to a new offensive system) went on the morning announcements and said, "You can't let the 2% give the other 98% a bad name." "We are the 2%" t-shirts became the latest style all over school. Many of the seniors on the team also quit en-masse.
Posted on 8/12/15 at 10:10 am to geauxbears08
quote:
Perseverance is finishing first and third in a circle jerk
Posted on 8/12/15 at 10:10 am to brodeo
I am going to call the police and have you all arrested for IMPERSONATING A FOOTBALL TEAM!
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