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re: what is the craziest sex story you have had or have heard from a friend?
Posted on 1/12/16 at 10:14 pm to Hammertime
Posted on 1/12/16 at 10:14 pm to Hammertime
Hammertime you have to have a better story
2
Posted on 1/12/16 at 10:14 pm to mrbootychedda
This is a sex story....(From Reddit)
Not me, but an old friend of mine.
Really quiet, soft-spoken, polite guy. A total gentleman and a graduate student in the liberal arts. Also, pretty inexperienced, tentative, and vanilla sexually.
He's dating this really cool girl for maybe two months. She is much kinkier in bed. She floats the idea of dirty talk, and apparently likes to be objectified, even demeaned a bit, from time to time. He's hesitant, but wants to please her and doesn't dismiss the idea outright. Changes the subject and figures that they'll revisit the idea another time.
Anyway...they have sex a few days later for the first time since the conversation. Really going at it doggystyle, and she tells him to talk dirty to her. He says that he can't think of anything to say, so he says nothing, and she then repeats the request, but the second time she is not fricking requesting, but demanding it.
He comes up with: "Yeah...you like that, you fricking retard?"
He's never struck me as one for embellishment, so I believe him. He said that was it for sex that night, although they are still together two years on now.
Not me, but an old friend of mine.
Really quiet, soft-spoken, polite guy. A total gentleman and a graduate student in the liberal arts. Also, pretty inexperienced, tentative, and vanilla sexually.
He's dating this really cool girl for maybe two months. She is much kinkier in bed. She floats the idea of dirty talk, and apparently likes to be objectified, even demeaned a bit, from time to time. He's hesitant, but wants to please her and doesn't dismiss the idea outright. Changes the subject and figures that they'll revisit the idea another time.
Anyway...they have sex a few days later for the first time since the conversation. Really going at it doggystyle, and she tells him to talk dirty to her. He says that he can't think of anything to say, so he says nothing, and she then repeats the request, but the second time she is not fricking requesting, but demanding it.
He comes up with: "Yeah...you like that, you fricking retard?"
He's never struck me as one for embellishment, so I believe him. He said that was it for sex that night, although they are still together two years on now.
Posted on 1/12/16 at 10:19 pm to FlappingPierre
That story is better (and funny), and I have a few more even better than that. Just too full to type stories right now
Posted on 1/12/16 at 10:23 pm to Hammertime
When I was in high school, I worked at a fast food restaurant. The manager of the restaurant was having sex with a girl who had a boyfriend. Boyfriend walked in during the act. Dude panicked and jumped out the window of the apartment complex. Broke both of his legs. Was in a wheelchair for quite a while. And he got so much shite for it.
This post was edited on 1/12/16 at 10:24 pm
Posted on 1/12/16 at 10:23 pm to Hammertime
Weak
Posted on 1/12/16 at 10:28 pm to SwaggerCopter
Some great stories in this thread
Please keep them coming
Please keep them coming
Posted on 1/12/16 at 10:29 pm to Walt OReilly
you are so fricking retarded Posted on 1/12/16 at 10:30 pm to Paige
Tell us a story Paige
Posted on 1/12/16 at 10:32 pm to Phate
quote:I wish I was taken advantage of by a couple of girls my first time. That would have been cool.
My brother claims that he lost his virginity at house party. Two girls found out he was a virgin and they took him up to a room and fricked him until morning. I haven't met anyone that believes the story.
Posted on 1/12/16 at 10:39 pm to Walt OReilly
Posted on 1/12/16 at 10:41 pm to mrbootychedda
Guy and his chick are alone at his friend's camp, and they start getting their freak on. She's all hot and ready and finally starts asking for it up the hiney. Guy is frantically searching for anything suitable as a lube. Only thing he can come up with is a mustard dispenser in the fridge. Sticks the nozzle up her butt and takes the yellow road to brown town.
Posted on 1/12/16 at 10:50 pm to Walt OReilly
I'll tell you a story
But not these losers
But not these losers
Posted on 1/12/16 at 10:50 pm to 911Moto
Not real crazy but my GFs 15yr old daughter butt dialed her while she was banging her BF.
I think her daughter may have done it on purpose.
I think her daughter may have done it on purpose.
This post was edited on 1/12/16 at 10:51 pm
Posted on 1/12/16 at 10:59 pm to Passing Wind
quote:
What year(s) were you teaching there?
It was pre-Katrina. I was a kindergarten teacher and i looked like the sweet , innocent Catholic school kindergarten teacher. So freaking embarrassing to have to tell my student's father of my sexual misadventure.
Posted on 1/12/16 at 11:11 pm to cdaniel76
quote:
Everything was going great. We eased into it and she seemed to really dig it. Only problem is SHE'S DEAF and doesn't know how bad the moans and sounds are that she was making OR how loud they were! I was sure that at any second the cops were going to bust the door down cause a neighbor in her complex thought someone was killing her. It was insane...
If it sounded like someone trying to kill a goat with a hammer, I am pretty sure I was living next door.
Posted on 1/12/16 at 11:12 pm to gingerkittie
Also from the files of my marriage.... Not really crazy though but mildly amusing
We moved to another state and were living with his sis, her husband, their child and had my MIL visiting for a few months as well. It was a small house. Needless to say it was hard to find "alone time".
So we borrowed BIL's truck and went to find a secluded space in the woods off of an unpopulated street. We were getting busy when blue lights came flashing on and we were busted by police.
WE explained we were married but staying with relatives and so we wanted alone time. Very embarrassing to be caught in the act like that, especially by the police who have reason to believe this was a potential john and a hooker.
The cop was cool about it. He was also cool about helping us get the freaking truck started after we killed the battery because we had the radio on. It was a standard so they pushed it while I popped the clutch.
Years later, we finally confessed to BIL that we had defiled his truck by having hanky panky in it.
We moved to another state and were living with his sis, her husband, their child and had my MIL visiting for a few months as well. It was a small house. Needless to say it was hard to find "alone time".
So we borrowed BIL's truck and went to find a secluded space in the woods off of an unpopulated street. We were getting busy when blue lights came flashing on and we were busted by police.
WE explained we were married but staying with relatives and so we wanted alone time. Very embarrassing to be caught in the act like that, especially by the police who have reason to believe this was a potential john and a hooker.
The cop was cool about it. He was also cool about helping us get the freaking truck started after we killed the battery because we had the radio on. It was a standard so they pushed it while I popped the clutch.
Years later, we finally confessed to BIL that we had defiled his truck by having hanky panky in it.
Posted on 1/12/16 at 11:12 pm to Paige
quote:
I'll tell you a story But not these losers
And yet you're here.
With the losers.
All day.
Every day.
Begging for their attention.
Posted on 1/12/16 at 11:17 pm to Havoc
quote:
And yet you're here. With the losers. All day. Every day. Begging for their attention.
Yeah...and WE'RE the losers.
Posted on 1/12/16 at 11:19 pm to gingerkittie
You're a freak
Posted on 1/12/16 at 11:23 pm to TigerFanInSouthland
I had an ex gf break my nose if that counts for anything
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