re: What are some things you can't tell your SO?

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Mine too. She hears me from the bedroom and goes "are you fricking blowing boogers all over the shower!!!!"

See honey, it's not just me!(she lurks my shite as I mentioned).

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I was just getting over a cold and blowing snot rockets in the shower, I swear one came out and it felt like a piece of my brain went out with it, it was incredible. If my gf had been there I would have had to show her based on the impressive size and color alone. But I'm good about getting them down the drain.

ETA:

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1. Looks like you're getting more cellulite

2. Have you ever thought about taking some cooking classes?

3. That beer isn't gonna get in my hand by itself!

4. I know your folks are coming over, but it's poker night.

5. No you can't go shopping...because I just bought this new tv...

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I am just shocked that you are no longer married

You need to loose weight fat arse!

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I am just shocked that you are no longer married

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That's cause I didn't talk to that bitch like that. I treated her like a queen. I won't make that mistake again. Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

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It's better doing it outside brah. You can only get so much distance in the shower unless you go over the curtain

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Well yea but the steam from a hot shower, specially in morning, loosens it up so good. Those productive snot rockets feel almost as good as a mid-pee shiver.

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But I'm good about getting them down the drain.

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Roger that. I make sure door is closed so she can hear and I do the same.