re: What Are Some Stuff Every Daddy Should Teach His Son(s)?

quote:

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Has anyone said proper grammar?

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Proper grammar has never saved any man's balls

Beat me to it.


And my dad taught me how to read a ruler in 32nds, we never got to 32ths

Grass is cheap out here. It's legal.

How to tie a tie.

Saddle a horse
Kill your own snakes
back a trailer
shake hands firmly
Fart loud
drink
love LSU
Don't get into credit card debt.

Just do what I do. Stand in front of a microwave oven when it is operational. Only an oven and not a "Range". Late 70's range is like cancer on the junk.

How to flush a gas station toilet with his foot

Don't call me daddy when youre older than 12. It's creepy as frick to hear an adult male say that.

I gotcha, just messing around

Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad
From a worn-out picture that my mother'd had
And I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye
He was big and bent and gray and old
And I looked at him and my blood ran cold
And I said, "My name is Sue, how do you do
Now you're gonna die"

Well, I hit him hard right between the eyes
And he went down, but to my surprise
He come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear
But I busted a chair right across his teeth
And we crashed through the wall and into the street
Kicking and a' gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer

I tell ya, I've fought tougher men
But I really can't remember when
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss
He went for his gun and I pulled mine first
He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile

And he said "Son, this world is rough
And if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough
And I knew I wouldn't be there to help ya along
So I give ya that name and I said goodbye
I knew you'd have to get tough or die
And it's the name that helped to make you strong"

"Now you just fought one hell of a fight
And I know you hate me, and you got the right
To kill me now, and I wouldn't blame you if you do
But ya ought to thank me, before I die
For the gravel in ya guts and the spit in ya eye
'Cause I'm the son-of-a-bitch that named you Sue"