re: The wife and I made a difficult decision this weekend

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So is playing beer pong, sleeping half the day, or whatever kids today do with all the spare time they have if they don't have to work, don't try to tell me they are studying, I am a college graduate.

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There is a difference between having a job and "paying your way" through college. I have argued this from the beginning. For the average college student, the idea that you can pay your way through college by working some shitty part-time job is 100% a myth that is perpetuated by older folks who did it when it was still possible.

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Average in state tuition and fees are less than 10k for a State School. You need to take remedial math again

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1) Tuition isn't the only thing to pay for. In fact, housing, food, and transportation costs often outstrip tuition by a good margin.

2) I'm really not sure why you are getting hostile, Roger. This is not an attack on you, personally. It isn't your fault that you have bought into a story that is no longer true for most college students. Times have changed, it is OK to change with them, Roger.

I think tuition was $25,000 for me. That's a lot of money for an 18 year old even when you take food/housing out of the equation.

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What about kids who live with parents, relatives?

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We have already covered this ground. Not everyone lives within commuting distance to their in-state university. It is simply not possible for most. For example, it was not possible for me to commute the 3.5 hours to my state university. I'll give you one guess as to which state and university that was.

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If I pay my way through school, I will select my classes that put me to my goal in the most efficient way possible. Maymesters. Summer classes. The point of college is to get a degree, go out, and to make a better living. The child's perspective of a parent paying for college is a free ride (they can grow up later). The child's perspective of paying for his/her own college is to make a better living now.

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this is not factual. I have quite a few friends and acquaintances during school who paid their own way and fricked off HARD. In fact, some of them saw it as a free chance to frick off with a "it's my money, I can do what I want" mentality. Raising your kids to have a good understanding of what it takes to succeed does not 100% require you to make them pay their own way. I will admit that it is one method to do so, but to make these blanket statements that it is required is stupid beyond belief. If that was the case, then every wealthy person's kid would be a screw up. But that's not the case. Sure some are, but plenty can get by quite successfully not paying their own way.

Know quite a few people who are engineers, doctors, lawyers, architects, accountants, etc. who all make 6 figures and daddy bought them a condo in college and if they worked, it was a student job for beer money.

Know quite a few who paid their way through school, but always had terrible grades since they were always working. Then they realized they could make decent money tending bar or waiting tables more often, so they took a semester off. Then they dug themselves a hole they never got out of and are still tending bar at 30 years old.


I don't think you have to pay for your kid. If you can't afford it, you should still push them to go and they should find their way. But to say I'm not going to pay when I have the funds as some sort of lesson to the kid........useless.

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The perhaps you didn't need to go to the big state school.

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Perhaps that is true for some, but when you get into a Top 50 public ivy, you go and you worry about the rest later. Quite simply, the public ivies are the best value four-year institutions out there. You get top-flight education for in-state tuition.

Anyways, I have already described how I did everything possible to mitigate costs, including spending my first year at community college.

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it was not possible for me to commute the 3.5 hours to my state university.

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the closest university was 3.5 hours away?

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Average in state tuition and fees are less than 10k for a State School. You need to take remedial math again

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Yeah but that doesn't include food, housing, etc. I worked in college and made about $12,000 a year in the early to mid 2000s. That was mostly over the summer by working 50+ hours and then some through the school year.

It would be almost impossible to pay for tuition, housing, food, utilities, etc. for the average person and not come out of school without debt.

But your argument is that tuition is only $10k right? What parent on this board can't afford $40k to help their kid get a STEM degree like everyone is arguing?

Arguing its not very expensive is counter intuitive to the basis of this entire thread. If its that cheap, than my 45 year old arse should be able to afford it pretty easily by saving a little and then paying it off yearly.

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Seems like paying for that on your own is a worthwhile investment in your future, huh?

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As I have argued, this wouldn't have been possible. And taking on debt limits the payoff on the back end.

I'm sorry I'm threatening your bootstrap narrative, Lnchbox, but that story simply isn't realistic for the typical college student today. We'll have to agree to disagree on that one, but things have changed under your feet, my compadre.