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re: The wife and I made a difficult decision this weekend
Posted on 8/13/18 at 8:47 am to RealityTiger
Posted on 8/13/18 at 8:47 am to RealityTiger
quote:
We live modestly in a nice home, but don't have a swimming pool or expensive vehicles or dress in super expensive clothes. I don't own a boat. That's the difference. That's also where people fail, is they dump all extra income into that stuff rather than be responsible with it.
Different strokes for different folks. Spending money on vacations and time with the kids is hardly a bad investment IMO. It's all about priorities, and I understand if someone thinks that's more important.
1
Posted on 8/13/18 at 8:49 am to Displaced
quote:
3. I want my kids to look back on their childhood and have good memories. I know what it's like on the other end.
Those memories will come in handy when they’re digging in a dumpster behind Taco Bell for food
Posted on 8/13/18 at 8:52 am to PrivatePublic
I had a wealthy client talk about his kids and their college loans last week. He had three kids and all went to school out of state. One to Stanford, to Duke, and to Baylor. For graduate school one went to NYU, one to Duke, and one to medical school in San Antonio. He said he is paying the loans for all them. Some had partial scholarships but not much. Said he owes 1 million dollars in loans. He broke down what he owes from each school. I heard 50k per year at several of those places. The client has money but he is not a rich. The guy is in his 60’s and said he is on pace to finish paying off all the loans in 2032. Screw that. I really hope his kids pay for some of it but he insists he wants to pay for all of it.
This post was edited on 8/13/18 at 8:58 am
Posted on 8/13/18 at 8:53 am to slackster
quote:Absolutely, but that's not what I was talking about. I'm not a cheapskate with my kids. But I work with guys who always have to have the latest and greatest "toy" - and by toy, I mean tens of thousands of dollars. These are the same types who will say college is too expensive so they're not paying for it. But meanwhile, all the money they could have been saving has been going towards themselves. I'm not that guy.
Spending money on vacations and time with the kids is hardly a bad investment
We go on a nice vacation every summer, and I spend money on time with my kids.
Posted on 8/13/18 at 8:55 am to TigerstuckinMS
nope, student loans. They did help pay for books and my mom would slip me a little extra from time to time. They'll survive, it'll make them appreciate it more in the end.
Posted on 8/13/18 at 8:56 am to PrivatePublic
Not really a hard decision but it is a very wise one.
You can’t earn retirement later in life but a child can get loans, grants, scholarships, or just earn the money and do it on their own.
I have 6 kids and made it well known to all of them that I will be helping them in whatever way I can but that I will not be paying for college outright.
You can’t earn retirement later in life but a child can get loans, grants, scholarships, or just earn the money and do it on their own.
I have 6 kids and made it well known to all of them that I will be helping them in whatever way I can but that I will not be paying for college outright.
Posted on 8/13/18 at 8:57 am to PrivatePublic
Selfish sobs
Posted on 8/13/18 at 8:58 am to PrivatePublic
You can help your kids financially in college without paying tuition.
Vehicle
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Posted on 8/13/18 at 8:58 am to RealityTiger
quote:
I think retirement savings should always be a priority.
quote:
Yes and no. If I would place my own list of priorities in life and give it a number, I'd say:
1. Raising your kids to the point of pushing them out the nest (as young adults)
1a. At that point, all extra money should be going into retirement in (here's the money shot) - a retirement account that you should have already been responsible enough to have been saving in since being hired for your first job for 30+ yrs(401k, IRA, etc.)
Some of you are still stupid even after your parents paid your way through college. Poster says retirement should always be a priority another poster chimes in with “yes and no” and proceeds to throw out irrelevant points.
Posted on 8/13/18 at 9:04 am to urinetrouble
This is the trufe. If you do one thing for your kids, the single most beneficial thing that you can do is make sure they graduate college debt free. I'm not talking about putting them through Harvard, but you offer to get them through state school. The difference that it makes in the young adult life is tremendous. I can't stress that enough. Financially, it will put them 10 years ahead of where they otherwise would be.
If you have the means and you don't, then I hope they put your arse in a budget nursing home to pay you back.
If you have the means and you don't, then I hope they put your arse in a budget nursing home to pay you back.
Posted on 8/13/18 at 9:06 am to WildManGoose
quote:
This is the trufe. If you do one thing for your kids, the single most beneficial thing that you can do is make sure they graduate college debt free. I'm not talking about putting them through Harvard, but you offer to get them through state school. The difference that it makes in the young adult life is tremendous. I can't stress that enough. Financially, it will put them 10 years ahead of where they otherwise would be.
If you have the means and you don't, then I hope they put your arse in a budget nursing home to pay you back.
I'd say it's more beneficial to raise them to take care of themselves, but that's just my opinion. Graduating debt free with a basket weaving degree isn't going to be worth much.
This post was edited on 8/13/18 at 9:09 am
Posted on 8/13/18 at 9:09 am to WildManGoose
quote:
If you have the means and you don't, then I hope they put your arse in a budget nursing home to pay you back.
frick those first 18 years of life baws, it all comes down to college
Posted on 8/13/18 at 9:09 am to PrivatePublic
They don't need college, just tell them to become welders or pipefitters. They'll make well over a million a year.
Posted on 8/13/18 at 9:11 am to AA77
You and your wife made a difficult decision ... from the POV of the kids
Posted on 8/13/18 at 9:11 am to windshieldman
quote:
don’t think either of y’all are necessarily wrong but I’d be mortified, absolutely mortified, if my parents had to work past retirement age to pay off my college. I don’t care if they were fine with it, that would make me sick
Understand. And that was the whole point of my original point. I blasted thebOP for coming here and starting a thread and not giving any additional information on the details.
Maybe his "retirment" is an early retirement plan..who knows. We dont know facts...ages, income, retirement age/details, etc etc etc
Other poster said something about "travel dad" or whatever. Seems like he'd want to do that to try any way possible to get a scholarship, lol...so travel ball might be the way.
It's all food. I dont see the point of the thread if hes not willing to share all info. I'd seriously like to know the #s he crunched to come to that determination. If his kids are 17, that's one thing. If they are 7, that's another. He would have to know exactly how the market will perform, since I gather hes using a 401k or other market driven vehicle to make his calculations.
But instead of having that chat, along come a bunch of dumbasses who think they have THE perfect option of what a good parent is and all other personal comments on how much better they are....whatever!
I'd like to have the conversation with the OP on how he decided.
Posted on 8/13/18 at 9:12 am to WildManGoose
quote:
This is the trufe. If you do one thing for your kids, the single most beneficial thing that you can do is make sure they graduate college debt free. I'm not talking about putting them through Harvard, but you offer to get them through state school. The difference that it makes in the young adult life is tremendous. I can't stress that enough. Financially, it will put them 10 years ahead of where they otherwise would be.
Disagree. When I graduated in my early 20s, i was interested in moving to the big city, starting work, buying some shite and working but still going out and having fun.
I had student loan debt. I paid all of it off in a few years. If my parents had paid for college I would not have appreciated it as much and right after college I would have just rented a more expensive place, bought a bigger motorcycle, blew more money on whores, etc.
Having the student loan debt was a good thing. Motivated me to get a high paying job right out of school which I did. At least I got the highest paying job possible in my industry at the time.
Posted on 8/13/18 at 9:18 am to LNCHBOX
quote:
I'd say it's more beneficial to raise them to take care of themselves
I don’t necessarily disagree with you and I realize this is anecdotal... but every friend I have whose parents had zero money to help them through college weren’t taught any kind of valuable budgeting lessons either. The entire reason their parents couldn’t help them was because they themselves made terrible financial decisions to get to that point.
Saying, “I’d rather teach my kid how to properly budget and take care of themselves” is like saying “I’d rather give my kids a down payment on a house” in a discussion about weddings. Both sound responsible in theory, but who the hell is saying the alternative decision is going to happen either? A lot of people flat out don’t have money for their kids and also don’t have the valuable life skills to pass on to them..
Posted on 8/13/18 at 9:21 am to LNCHBOX
And graduating with $60K debt and a basket weaving degree is a good way to get your daughter's GDP episode on the front page of the OT.
I'm not advocating it as a hard line. And I'm not saying to foot everything. But if your kids are decent and they have a reasonable chance of succeeding in college then paying their tuition is an extremely powerful contribution to their future.
I'm not advocating it as a hard line. And I'm not saying to foot everything. But if your kids are decent and they have a reasonable chance of succeeding in college then paying their tuition is an extremely powerful contribution to their future.
Posted on 8/13/18 at 9:21 am to Tiger n Miami AU83
quote:
If my parents had paid for college I would not have appreciated it as much and right after college I would have just rented a more expensive place, bought a bigger motorcycle, blew more money on whores, etc.
You’re one person. My parents paid for my college and I’m definitely not a financial retard. My dad taught me from an early age to be responsible and he doubled down by giving me the gift of zero debt.
Flip side - my friends have thousands of student loan debt and two of them in particular are just digging themselves deeper and deeper into debt bevahse they were never taught any better.
It’s not one or the other. You aren’t magically responsible because your parents threw you out to your own devices. There’s more to it than that.
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