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re: The wife and I made a difficult decision this weekend

Posted on 8/13/18 at 8:47 am to
Posted by slackster
Houston
Member since Mar 2009
91838 posts
Posted on 8/13/18 at 8:47 am to
quote:

We live modestly in a nice home, but don't have a swimming pool or expensive vehicles or dress in super expensive clothes. I don't own a boat. That's the difference. That's also where people fail, is they dump all extra income into that stuff rather than be responsible with it.


Different strokes for different folks. Spending money on vacations and time with the kids is hardly a bad investment IMO. It's all about priorities, and I understand if someone thinks that's more important.

Posted by el Gaucho
He/They
Member since Dec 2010
59142 posts
Posted on 8/13/18 at 8:49 am to
quote:

3. I want my kids to look back on their childhood and have good memories. I know what it's like on the other end.

Those memories will come in handy when they’re digging in a dumpster behind Taco Bell for food
Posted by ctiger69
Member since May 2005
31030 posts
Posted on 8/13/18 at 8:52 am to
I had a wealthy client talk about his kids and their college loans last week. He had three kids and all went to school out of state. One to Stanford, to Duke, and to Baylor. For graduate school one went to NYU, one to Duke, and one to medical school in San Antonio. He said he is paying the loans for all them. Some had partial scholarships but not much. Said he owes 1 million dollars in loans. He broke down what he owes from each school. I heard 50k per year at several of those places. The client has money but he is not a rich. The guy is in his 60’s and said he is on pace to finish paying off all the loans in 2032. Screw that. I really hope his kids pay for some of it but he insists he wants to pay for all of it.
This post was edited on 8/13/18 at 8:58 am
Posted by RealityTiger
Geismar, LA
Member since Jan 2010
20543 posts
Posted on 8/13/18 at 8:53 am to
quote:

Spending money on vacations and time with the kids is hardly a bad investment
Absolutely, but that's not what I was talking about. I'm not a cheapskate with my kids. But I work with guys who always have to have the latest and greatest "toy" - and by toy, I mean tens of thousands of dollars. These are the same types who will say college is too expensive so they're not paying for it. But meanwhile, all the money they could have been saving has been going towards themselves. I'm not that guy.

We go on a nice vacation every summer, and I spend money on time with my kids.
Posted by LSU fan 246
Member since Oct 2005
90567 posts
Posted on 8/13/18 at 8:54 am to
:bruh:
Posted by Magicmikeforlsu
Cenla
Member since Oct 2012
1797 posts
Posted on 8/13/18 at 8:55 am to
nope, student loans. They did help pay for books and my mom would slip me a little extra from time to time. They'll survive, it'll make them appreciate it more in the end.
Posted by Quatre Pot
Member since Jan 2015
1824 posts
Posted on 8/13/18 at 8:56 am to
Not really a hard decision but it is a very wise one.
You can’t earn retirement later in life but a child can get loans, grants, scholarships, or just earn the money and do it on their own.
I have 6 kids and made it well known to all of them that I will be helping them in whatever way I can but that I will not be paying for college outright.
Posted by cajuncarguy
On the road...Again!
Member since Jun 2013
3135 posts
Posted on 8/13/18 at 8:57 am to
Selfish sobs
Posted by p&g
Dixie
Member since Jun 2005
12995 posts
Posted on 8/13/18 at 8:58 am to
You can help your kids financially in college without paying tuition.

Vehicle
Ins
Rent
Allowance
Posted by 13SaintTiger
Isle of Capri
Member since Sep 2011
18406 posts
Posted on 8/13/18 at 8:58 am to
quote:

I think retirement savings should always be a priority.


quote:

Yes and no. If I would place my own list of priorities in life and give it a number, I'd say:

1. Raising your kids to the point of pushing them out the nest (as young adults)
1a. At that point, all extra money should be going into retirement in (here's the money shot) - a retirement account that you should have already been responsible enough to have been saving in since being hired for your first job for 30+ yrs(401k, IRA, etc.)




Some of you are still stupid even after your parents paid your way through college. Poster says retirement should always be a priority another poster chimes in with “yes and no” and proceeds to throw out irrelevant points.
Posted by WildManGoose
Member since Nov 2005
4607 posts
Posted on 8/13/18 at 9:04 am to
This is the trufe. If you do one thing for your kids, the single most beneficial thing that you can do is make sure they graduate college debt free. I'm not talking about putting them through Harvard, but you offer to get them through state school. The difference that it makes in the young adult life is tremendous. I can't stress that enough. Financially, it will put them 10 years ahead of where they otherwise would be.

If you have the means and you don't, then I hope they put your arse in a budget nursing home to pay you back.
Posted by LNCHBOX
70448
Member since Jun 2009
89100 posts
Posted on 8/13/18 at 9:06 am to
quote:

This is the trufe. If you do one thing for your kids, the single most beneficial thing that you can do is make sure they graduate college debt free. I'm not talking about putting them through Harvard, but you offer to get them through state school. The difference that it makes in the young adult life is tremendous. I can't stress that enough. Financially, it will put them 10 years ahead of where they otherwise would be.

If you have the means and you don't, then I hope they put your arse in a budget nursing home to pay you back.


I'd say it's more beneficial to raise them to take care of themselves, but that's just my opinion. Graduating debt free with a basket weaving degree isn't going to be worth much.
This post was edited on 8/13/18 at 9:09 am
Posted by 13SaintTiger
Isle of Capri
Member since Sep 2011
18406 posts
Posted on 8/13/18 at 9:09 am to
quote:

If you have the means and you don't, then I hope they put your arse in a budget nursing home to pay you back.




frick those first 18 years of life baws, it all comes down to college
Posted by AA77
Member since Jan 2016
3853 posts
Posted on 8/13/18 at 9:09 am to
They don't need college, just tell them to become welders or pipefitters. They'll make well over a million a year.
Posted by manshipbk
Member since Aug 2018
104 posts
Posted on 8/13/18 at 9:11 am to
You and your wife made a difficult decision ... from the POV of the kids
Posted by GeeOH
Louisiana
Member since Dec 2013
13376 posts
Posted on 8/13/18 at 9:11 am to
quote:

don’t think either of y’all are necessarily wrong but I’d be mortified, absolutely mortified, if my parents had to work past retirement age to pay off my college. I don’t care if they were fine with it, that would make me sick



Understand. And that was the whole point of my original point. I blasted thebOP for coming here and starting a thread and not giving any additional information on the details.
Maybe his "retirment" is an early retirement plan..who knows. We dont know facts...ages, income, retirement age/details, etc etc etc

Other poster said something about "travel dad" or whatever. Seems like he'd want to do that to try any way possible to get a scholarship, lol...so travel ball might be the way.

It's all food. I dont see the point of the thread if hes not willing to share all info. I'd seriously like to know the #s he crunched to come to that determination. If his kids are 17, that's one thing. If they are 7, that's another. He would have to know exactly how the market will perform, since I gather hes using a 401k or other market driven vehicle to make his calculations.

But instead of having that chat, along come a bunch of dumbasses who think they have THE perfect option of what a good parent is and all other personal comments on how much better they are....whatever!
I'd like to have the conversation with the OP on how he decided.
Posted by Tiger n Miami AU83
Miami
Member since Oct 2007
45656 posts
Posted on 8/13/18 at 9:12 am to
quote:

This is the trufe. If you do one thing for your kids, the single most beneficial thing that you can do is make sure they graduate college debt free. I'm not talking about putting them through Harvard, but you offer to get them through state school. The difference that it makes in the young adult life is tremendous. I can't stress that enough. Financially, it will put them 10 years ahead of where they otherwise would be. 


Disagree. When I graduated in my early 20s, i was interested in moving to the big city, starting work, buying some shite and working but still going out and having fun.

I had student loan debt. I paid all of it off in a few years. If my parents had paid for college I would not have appreciated it as much and right after college I would have just rented a more expensive place, bought a bigger motorcycle, blew more money on whores, etc.

Having the student loan debt was a good thing. Motivated me to get a high paying job right out of school which I did. At least I got the highest paying job possible in my industry at the time.
Posted by LouisianaLady
Member since Mar 2009
83020 posts
Posted on 8/13/18 at 9:18 am to
quote:

I'd say it's more beneficial to raise them to take care of themselves


I don’t necessarily disagree with you and I realize this is anecdotal... but every friend I have whose parents had zero money to help them through college weren’t taught any kind of valuable budgeting lessons either. The entire reason their parents couldn’t help them was because they themselves made terrible financial decisions to get to that point.

Saying, “I’d rather teach my kid how to properly budget and take care of themselves” is like saying “I’d rather give my kids a down payment on a house” in a discussion about weddings. Both sound responsible in theory, but who the hell is saying the alternative decision is going to happen either? A lot of people flat out don’t have money for their kids and also don’t have the valuable life skills to pass on to them..
Posted by WildManGoose
Member since Nov 2005
4607 posts
Posted on 8/13/18 at 9:21 am to
And graduating with $60K debt and a basket weaving degree is a good way to get your daughter's GDP episode on the front page of the OT.

I'm not advocating it as a hard line. And I'm not saying to foot everything. But if your kids are decent and they have a reasonable chance of succeeding in college then paying their tuition is an extremely powerful contribution to their future.
Posted by LouisianaLady
Member since Mar 2009
83020 posts
Posted on 8/13/18 at 9:21 am to
quote:

If my parents had paid for college I would not have appreciated it as much and right after college I would have just rented a more expensive place, bought a bigger motorcycle, blew more money on whores, etc.


You’re one person. My parents paid for my college and I’m definitely not a financial retard. My dad taught me from an early age to be responsible and he doubled down by giving me the gift of zero debt.

Flip side - my friends have thousands of student loan debt and two of them in particular are just digging themselves deeper and deeper into debt bevahse they were never taught any better.

It’s not one or the other. You aren’t magically responsible because your parents threw you out to your own devices. There’s more to it than that.
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