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re: The tortoise and hare approach to life
Posted on 2/18/19 at 3:54 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
Posted on 2/18/19 at 3:54 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
How much are you enabling your daughter though?
It sounds like you are comfortable financially, own your own business. I bet your daughter has never wanted for anything. I bet you've given her every gift and material thing she ever asked for. She's probably spoiled rotten and doesn't appreciate hard work or the value thereof.
It's such a common pattern it's not even funny. Guys like you bust your asses to make it in the world. Your hard work pays off and you become successful. Then you go on to not teach ANY of that to your kids by spoiling them and "giving them the things you never had".
I've got relatives on both sides that have done this.
My parents were poor as hell when I was little. My dad was a school teacher and my mom stayed home. Over time dad changed careers and has retired with more money than he'll ever spend. But those early years were formative for me and many times I was told "no you can't have that, we don't have the money. If you want it, cut some lawns and wash some cars."
She's 15 so it's too late probably. You better just hope she lands a rich dude willing to put up with her.
It sounds like you are comfortable financially, own your own business. I bet your daughter has never wanted for anything. I bet you've given her every gift and material thing she ever asked for. She's probably spoiled rotten and doesn't appreciate hard work or the value thereof.
It's such a common pattern it's not even funny. Guys like you bust your asses to make it in the world. Your hard work pays off and you become successful. Then you go on to not teach ANY of that to your kids by spoiling them and "giving them the things you never had".
I've got relatives on both sides that have done this.
My parents were poor as hell when I was little. My dad was a school teacher and my mom stayed home. Over time dad changed careers and has retired with more money than he'll ever spend. But those early years were formative for me and many times I was told "no you can't have that, we don't have the money. If you want it, cut some lawns and wash some cars."
She's 15 so it's too late probably. You better just hope she lands a rich dude willing to put up with her.
1
Posted on 2/18/19 at 3:57 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
Your employee has to have a drug / alcohol or gambling problem .
Posted on 2/18/19 at 4:02 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
Posted on 2/18/19 at 4:10 pm to Tigerlaff
Strange but true. At one point in my life, anxiety became addictive. When time at work became slow, if I was not constantly putting out fires, it would drive me crazy.
I would get real anxiety thinking..."Things are going too smoothly, I'm sure some big frickup is occurring". Deadlines were motivation, working 30-40 days in a row became a somewhat pleasurable/routine habit.
Then I had a heart attack. I remember telling the Doctor after the stints gave me relief..."What is today, Tuesday"?..."Can I get out of here by Friday, I've got tickets and hotel reservations for the GA/FLA game this weekend".
Would I change anything about my past. No, I did learn to become a more "coaching/training" manager. I learned that problems at work are opportunities not obstacles.
A quote from one of my golfing buddies, an engineer from Montenegro...After a good shot he would say, "That's all that you need".
I would get real anxiety thinking..."Things are going too smoothly, I'm sure some big frickup is occurring". Deadlines were motivation, working 30-40 days in a row became a somewhat pleasurable/routine habit.
Then I had a heart attack. I remember telling the Doctor after the stints gave me relief..."What is today, Tuesday"?..."Can I get out of here by Friday, I've got tickets and hotel reservations for the GA/FLA game this weekend".
Would I change anything about my past. No, I did learn to become a more "coaching/training" manager. I learned that problems at work are opportunities not obstacles.
A quote from one of my golfing buddies, an engineer from Montenegro...After a good shot he would say, "That's all that you need".
Posted on 2/18/19 at 4:11 pm to nuwaydawg
quote:
working 30-40 days in a row became a somewhat pleasurable/routine habit.
My idea of hell on Earth.
Posted on 2/18/19 at 4:59 pm to TygerTyger
quote:
How much are you enabling your daughter though?
I don’t know. We live differently than most people. We have a modest house that I built on a fair amount of land. No TV, no video games. She’s always had a horse and she’s a pretty talented musician and has never wanted for decent instruments. Beyond that, I create situations where she can choose the easy way or the hard way and she chooses consequences every time. She doesn’t really want much as far as things go, she mostly wants to be lazy. Part of the problem is I travel for work and am gone about half the time. Her mother doesn’t always follow through so there are lapses in accountability. With kids like her (and me), consistency is key.
Posted on 2/18/19 at 5:05 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
I've been the type to work 100 hour weeks for a few years. I've been the type to take a few years off work.
Guess which one was better?
Guess which one was better?
Posted on 2/18/19 at 5:07 pm to nuwaydawg
I think people are misunderstanding my point. I’m not saying everyone should work 60 hours a week or make $250k a year. I’m talking about doing your best at whatever your doing. If someone makes $30k a year and is taking care of business and is happy living on that amount, that’s great. I’m talking about people that want to make $100k and have the ability to, but are only making $30k because they lack the discipline to do what it takes to move up, and are unable to take care of basic necessities while living stressed to the max.
I lived in the South Pacific and gained an appreciation for that way of life. The people worked a few hours a day farming or fishing and spent the rest of the day sleeping, socializing or playing rugby. Their basic needs were met and they were happy. I could live that way, but can you bet your arse, I won’t be playing rugby until the farming or fishing is done and done well.
I’ve got nothing against the tortoise. I’m railing on the hare.
I lived in the South Pacific and gained an appreciation for that way of life. The people worked a few hours a day farming or fishing and spent the rest of the day sleeping, socializing or playing rugby. Their basic needs were met and they were happy. I could live that way, but can you bet your arse, I won’t be playing rugby until the farming or fishing is done and done well.
I’ve got nothing against the tortoise. I’m railing on the hare.
This post was edited on 2/18/19 at 5:12 pm
Posted on 2/18/19 at 5:23 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
Has it ever occurred to you that some people don't give a frick about money and can be just content with what they have in friends, family and experiences?
Had a guy talking shite about another person, saying that he had no ambition. What is the proper ambition to have? Do whatever it takes to make a ton of money, working all the time? Some people just want to be happy, regardless of the amount of money you have.
I can guarantee you that life isn't about who can make the most money.
Had a guy talking shite about another person, saying that he had no ambition. What is the proper ambition to have? Do whatever it takes to make a ton of money, working all the time? Some people just want to be happy, regardless of the amount of money you have.
I can guarantee you that life isn't about who can make the most money.
Posted on 2/18/19 at 5:59 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
quote:
I’ve talked to him about ways to get his life together and stop working for me and start being his own boss because he is talented.
Why do this? Let him keep being an idiot so you don’t lose a talented employee rather than push him to be his own boss who competes with you
Posted on 2/18/19 at 6:39 pm to deltaland
quote:
Why do this? Let him keep being an idiot so you don’t lose a talented employee rather than push him to be his own boss who competes with you
He has a family and I want him to do well. He would never be my competition and I could replace him. I’m just trying to help the guy. I guess I see myself in him in a “there but for the grace of God, go I” sort of way.
Since I started this company I have taken on people as projects. I am realizing now that that is one of the reasons I have pushed so hard. I have it in me to lay back and live the Jimmy Buffet lifestyle, but I wouldn’t be in a position to try to help guys like this do a better job for their families.
Posted on 2/18/19 at 6:43 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
WTF do you care how someone else wants to live there life? Maybe the way they live makes them happy. Live and let live brother.
Posted on 2/18/19 at 6:51 pm to 2Dueces
quote:
WTF do you care how someone else wants to live there life? Maybe the way they live makes them happy. Live and let live brother.
Maybe you can’t read.
Posted on 2/18/19 at 7:03 pm to dawgsjlw
quote:
Has it ever occurred to you that some people don't give a frick about money and can be just content with what they have in friends, family and experiences?
As I’ve explained several times, I do understand. Has it occurred to you what the hare represents in the story? The hare has a goal and has the ability to achieve it, but instead of focusing, he gets comfortable and falls behind. he desperately tries to play catch up, but it’s too late and he fails.
I’m talking about a guy that gets so relaxed when he has some moeny that his spnding habits change, he gets complacent and doesn’t work during interim periods and then has to borrow money to pay rent.
It’s not that difficult of an analogy to follow, but it keeps getting twisted into me hating turtles. And here I thought the OT was a braintrust composed of the most brilliant people on the internet.
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