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goofball
Navy Fan
Member since Mar 2015
15905 posts

Taliban Quits Twitter To Protest Return Of Trump

quote:

Taliban Quits Twitter To Protest Return Of Trump



Babylon Bee News Desk

KANDAHAR, AFGHANISTAN — Individuals and organizations are quitting Twitter in droves to protest Elon Musk's "recklessly violent" decision to reinstate Donald Trump's Twitter account, chief among them the Taliban.

The legitimate government's final tweet read, "So long, and thanks for all the American weapons!"

"Long has Twitter served as a safe haven of free speech for North Korea, Iran, Al Qaeda, and ourselves," said Taliban Spokesman Badrash Onmyrhir, still tired from a long day of lashing young women for daring to remove their head scarves. "But with Trump's return to the platform, we no longer feel safe from his violent and hurtful tweets."

North Korean Press Secretary, Hae Yu Suk applauded the Taliban's decision, saying: "We, The Democratic People's Republic of Korea have followed The Taliban's courageous gesture and have quit Twitter for fears that allowing a violent lunatic access to the free speech platform may lead to the deaths of millions."

Al Qaeda is reportedly up in the air about quitting Twitter, stating legitimate fears that Trump's mean tweets could reign terror upon the world, while at the same time recognizing Twitter as a powerful tool for recruiting suicide bombers.


quote:

At publishing time, the Taliban had already resumed using Twitter, stating in a tweet, "After pausing for much of the weekend to assess our concerns, The Taliban is resuming its activity on Twitter as we continue to monitor the situation."


Bestbank Tiger
LSU Fan
Premium Member
Member since Jan 2005
65462 posts

quote:

Taliban Spokesman Badrash Onmyrhir


quote:


North Korean Press Secretary, Hae Yu Suk




frequent flyer
LSU Fan
USA
Member since Jul 2021
2107 posts

This isn’t as funny as they think (although the names are golden) .

Actual terrorist organizations haven’t been suspended from Twitter while American normies get booted for questioning the origins of Covid or somebody’s pretend pronouns. That really happened. Not satire.

Musk was the best thing to happen to that dumpster fire.
This post was edited on 11/24 at 7:02 am


dewster
LSU Fan
Chicago
Member since Aug 2006
23410 posts



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31
Horsemeat
Houston Astros Fan
Truckin' somewhere in the US
Member since Dec 2014
11509 posts

quote:

"So long, and thanks for all the American weapons!"

I see what they did there....


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110
TROLA
Chicago Cubs Fan
BATON ROUGE
Member since Apr 2004
10926 posts

I knew it had be the Bee but in todays clown world of up is down, you never really know…


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111
NPComb
US Marine Corps Fan
Member since Jan 2019
22599 posts

It will be nice to call out members of Hezbollah and the Taliban that were protected by Twitter for the last 10 years.


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80
Richard Grayson
LSU Fan
Bestbank
Member since Sep 2022
445 posts
 Online 

quote:

Actual terrorist organizations haven’t been suspended from Twitter while American normies get booted for questioning the origins of Covid or somebody’s pretend pronouns. That really happened. Not satire


That’s literally the entire joke…..


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130
TD SponsorTD Fan
USA
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bbap
Pacific Fan
Baton Rouge, LA
Member since Feb 2006
95438 posts

quote:

Actual terrorist organizations haven’t been suspended from Twitter while American normies get booted for questioning the origins of Covid or somebody’s pretend pronouns. That really happened. Not satire.


Uhhhhh


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50
STLDawg
Mississippi St. Fan
The Lou
Member since Apr 2015
3130 posts

I was 95% sure that this was the Bee but the fact that this could be real is a sad indictment of the world.


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70
Mike da Tigah
Bravo Romeo Lima Alpha
Member since Feb 2005
56909 posts

Ironic how all of America’s enemies have one thing in common. They all hate Trump. Not dislike the man, but literally hate his guts. I wonder why that is.




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kywildcatfanone
Kentucky Fan
Wildcat Country!
Member since Oct 2012
104127 posts

Babylon bee is gold when it comes to woke stuff.


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10
EZE Tiger Fan
Member since Jul 2004
45919 posts

quote:

Actual terrorist organizations haven’t been suspended from Twitter while American normies get booted for questioning the origins of Covid or somebody’s pretend pronouns. That really happened. Not satire.


Yep. When I got the email notice that my account was going to be terminated for posting about the BLM shooting in Baton Rouge, I pointed this out. I even linked an open account from one of the groups that was organizing a "protest" on Twitter.

I was told in very "Progressive" terms, that they never spread disinformation. Welp....


dewster
LSU Fan
Chicago
Member since Aug 2006
23410 posts

quote:

I was told in very "Progressive" terms, that they never spread disinformation. Welp....


Everything I don’t like is disinformation!!!


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Barbellthor
LSU Fan
Columbia
Member since Aug 2015
7279 posts

quote:

This isn’t as funny as they think (although the names are golden) .

Actual terrorist organizations haven’t been suspended from Twitter while American normies get booted for questioning the origins of Covid or somebody’s pretend pronouns

That's why it's funny. It's dark humor.


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