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re: Spinoff: Living with your girlfriend or fiance is a great idea before marriage

Posted on 1/30/20 at 10:21 am to
Posted by Mando
Boston
Member since Dec 2019
573 posts
Posted on 1/30/20 at 10:21 am to
Living together before marriage is not trashy. Especially if you're engaged
Posted by lsunurse
Member since Dec 2005
129146 posts
Posted on 1/30/20 at 10:24 am to
quote:

Hey genius what was the rate of divorce before the 60s


Meh....to be fair....before the 60s divorce was still pretty taboo in society.


Just because there were less divorces then doesn't mean there were more happy, healthy marriages.

Posted by WildManGoose
Member since Nov 2005
4613 posts
Posted on 1/30/20 at 10:24 am to
quote:

I can't stress to you enough how important it is to live with someone before deciding that you want to spend forever with.


Or just don't rush into marriage. After dating for six years my wife knew exactly how big of a slob I could be and vice versa, without moving in with each other.
Posted by Salmon
I helped draft the email
Member since Feb 2008
86731 posts
Posted on 1/30/20 at 10:24 am to
quote:

Hey genius what was the rate of divorce before the 60s when noone cohabitated compared to now when everyone does? Doesn't take a scientific study to determine what was better for the family. So much has contributed to the destruction of the family and cohabitating is one of them. Add on top of that the amount of people that never get married and have children because they can just cohabitate and pretend to be a family


cohabitation rates have been going up while divorce rates have been going down

genius
Posted by Salmon
I helped draft the email
Member since Feb 2008
86731 posts
Posted on 1/30/20 at 10:26 am to
quote:

Fair enough. But it's also probably safe to say that we've got two organizations with competing agendas. Who knows which report should be trusted more.



right

its almost like this a couple specific thing and a multitude of factors play into the success of a marriage
Posted by GreatLakesTiger24
Member since May 2012
61593 posts
Posted on 1/30/20 at 10:32 am to
quote:

you just going to ignore the very next paragraph


I didn’t ignore it. I didn’t read it.
Posted by Salmon
I helped draft the email
Member since Feb 2008
86731 posts
Posted on 1/30/20 at 10:33 am to
obviously
Posted by Hudson00
Member since Feb 2017
187 posts
Posted on 1/30/20 at 10:47 am to
(no message)
This post was edited on 6/6/20 at 8:42 am
Posted by Salmon
I helped draft the email
Member since Feb 2008
86731 posts
Posted on 1/30/20 at 10:50 am to
quote:

That's because less people are getting married and are playing pretend family while cohabitating.


cohabitating prior to marriage is increasing and divorce rates are declining dramatically

quote:

The state of the family is in the worst shape in modern history and it cannot be denied.


I'd say a more accurate statement is that the idea of a family is simply evolving.
Posted by lynxcat
Member since Jan 2008
25335 posts
Posted on 1/30/20 at 10:52 am to
I think it’s disingenuous to make a claim that moving in or not is a casual to likelihood of divorce. This is just people trying to make an argument in favor of their position regardless of whether there is statistical validity.
Posted by ZappBrannigan
Member since Jun 2015
7692 posts
Posted on 1/30/20 at 11:08 am to
Consensual dungeon harem is the best.

God I miss my 20's.

Posted by HammerheadLincoln
The farther west the farther out
Member since May 2015
5807 posts
Posted on 1/30/20 at 11:24 am to
quote:

That's because less people are getting married and are playing pretend family while cohabitating. There are still a good many people that get married and take it serious but it doesn't hide the fact there is a huge problem. Women are having children out of wedlock at record numbers. The state of the family is in the worst shape in modern history and it cannot be denied.


Posted by SEClint
New Orleans, LA/Portland, OR
Member since Nov 2006
49487 posts
Posted on 1/30/20 at 11:37 am to
It's a good idea for me.

I'm not easy to get along with myself. I'm sure it's not easy being with me, and I have to see if that compatibility continues.
Posted by kingbob
Sorrento, LA
Member since Nov 2010
71200 posts
Posted on 1/30/20 at 11:39 am to
Agreed. Had my ex-wife and I tried living together before marriage, odds are we never would have gotten married and saved everyone a lot of time, money, and hassle.
Posted by CoachChappy
Member since May 2013
34331 posts
Posted on 1/30/20 at 11:40 am to
quote:

I have known several family members or friends who chose not to in order to be "godly" and they ended up getting a divorce.


Hmmm.. so no sex/cohabitation to be godly, but get a divorce is totally ok?
Posted by kingbob
Sorrento, LA
Member since Nov 2010
71200 posts
Posted on 1/30/20 at 11:43 am to
Both sides have to agree to cohabitate where only one has to agree to a divorce.

If one partner thinks that their religion prohibits cohabitating before marriage and the other doesn’t, the couple won’t go through with it. If one partner believes their religion forbids divorce, so they should face their issues head on and keep working on solutions, but the other doesn’t, they still get divorced.
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