Started By
Message

re: Single dads: do goodbyes get easier?

Posted on 7/12/24 at 11:55 pm to
Posted by Riverside
Member since Jul 2022
5483 posts
Posted on 7/12/24 at 11:55 pm to
Sounds like a nightmare, honestly.

Did you see the warning signs before you married this fräulein and impregnated her?
Posted by LemmyLives
Texas
Member since Mar 2019
10387 posts
Posted on 7/12/24 at 11:55 pm to
quote:

I feel like it isn’t in the best interests of her to take her away from her mother.


Yeah, I thought the same thing too. That's overly generous and doesn't work out well for you. I thought I was still going to drive my daughter to dance twice a week, and my son to practice at least once a week, that lasted about four months.

Women in TX don't want 50-50 because child support changes. They mostly don't care about the kids, and want the bag, and whether you get invited to dance recitals, etc., they don't care.
Posted by Sao
East Texas Piney Woods
Member since Jun 2009
68123 posts
Posted on 7/13/24 at 12:00 am to
quote:

Decree isn’t done. I am fighting for 50-50.

In regards to full custody, I feel like it isn’t in the best interests of her to take her away from her mother. When I am present, mom seems to be a loving mother, regardless of what she did to me.

Amd you know, that's fine. There's no reconciliation possible and 50/50 is the compromise. Actually, the bargain if you're saying full. You deserve the best thing you both created. She's so tiny that your bond begins now. She knows nothing except the life and story you create. Promise us you won't give up.

Posted by TexasTiger08
Member since Oct 2006
27901 posts
Posted on 7/13/24 at 12:02 am to
quote:

Did you see the warning signs before you married this fräulein and impregnated her?


I did not see it coming
Posted by LemmyLives
Texas
Member since Mar 2019
10387 posts
Posted on 7/13/24 at 12:05 am to
quote:

11 year old son is a different story.


What's the delta? Different woman? Did he get a phone earlier than the 22 year old? Phones turn most kids into total (insert English cuss words here).

Women are generally (let me repeat, generally) horrible influences on children. I know it's counter intuitive, but it'll make sense the next time you see a kid throwing nuggets around a Wendys and mom trying to find the right Youtube video to shut them up on the iPad. Yes, plenty of men go along with that, but you didn't have to. (not trying to crap on you, but we have to acknwoledge our complicity in kid behavior.)

My grandmother wouldn't even let me read in the car when I was a kid. "Look at the scenery," she said (edit: And that was in BFE in a midwestern state with nothing but corn and soybean fields for 30 miles). And I could still find my way back to their old house without a map or GPS today.
This post was edited on 7/13/24 at 12:07 am
Posted by sigsauer
LA
Member since Jan 2009
497 posts
Posted on 7/13/24 at 12:06 am to
It sucks no matter what. Mine leaves next weekend to be with his Mom. That day always kicks my arse. Seeing him board that plane is always the worst. I won't see him again till Thanksgiving.
Posted by LA Lightning
Member since Jun 2023
519 posts
Posted on 7/13/24 at 12:07 am to
I expected to have a family like the one in which I grew up, with mom and dad at home, but became a single dad to a 3 year old girl. Mom wanted me to be the every other weekend dad but I wouldn't have it. Wanted to raise my child and fought for 50/50. Wasn't easy due to mom's mentality and judge and evaluator stupidity. Thought about writing a book.

I hated every minute daughter was away. However, she learned that her mom was not the easiest person to talk to, whereas daughter was basically a little female mini-me. As a result I think that we ended up having an even closer relationship than if she had both parents together, because of the single dad and daughter dynamic when it was just the two of us sharing life.

Wish you the best in your situation. Don't know the ropes in Texas so get professional advice from the best family law attorney you can possible afford.
Posted by LemmyLives
Texas
Member since Mar 2019
10387 posts
Posted on 7/13/24 at 12:13 am to
quote:

I won't see him again till Thanksgiving.


Goddamn. Sorry for that.

That's a long arse time, even living in different states.
Posted by LemmyLives
Texas
Member since Mar 2019
10387 posts
Posted on 7/13/24 at 12:19 am to
quote:

Don't know the ropes in Texas so get professional advice from the best family law attorney you can possible afford.


Spending more doesn't mean greater effectiveness. Do they hit you with a charge for sending an email? My friend spent $100k on three different lawyers, and his divorce took almost four years to get settled. I spent $5k retainer to fix what I f$&@ed up dealing with fixing what the mediator screwed up (yes, it's ex-wife's fault, not the mediator). Ex-wife spent twice that to drill me with a broomstick because I thought we would be civil. That was dumb. I could have hired the $5k retainer lawyer at the start and saved plenty of money, while actually getting to see my kids, on you know, father's day.
Posted by Sao
East Texas Piney Woods
Member since Jun 2009
68123 posts
Posted on 7/13/24 at 12:25 am to

I hate these stories. Be fair and honest with yourself and with the system. But fight like hell against the system who favors the mom and womb. It makes zero sense, so put up your fricking dukes.
Posted by Gravitiger
Member since Jun 2011
11568 posts
Posted on 7/13/24 at 12:26 am to
quote:

Do they hit you with a charge for sending an email?
I don't know any lawyer who bills hours that doesn't. Isn't that working on your case/file?
Posted by LemmyLives
Texas
Member since Mar 2019
10387 posts
Posted on 7/13/24 at 12:41 am to
Mine doesn't. She's a shark. Her husband is rich and retired (as I assume she is,) and she does this to keep her mind stimulated, apparently. I scheduled a 15m intro call with her, and asked her how to pay for it, she brushed me off, and spent an hour on the phone with me hearing my sob story, no charge. I tried to pay her. She refused to even take a consult fee.

My attorney definitely seems like a lawyer that fights for men.
Posted by Sao
East Texas Piney Woods
Member since Jun 2009
68123 posts
Posted on 7/13/24 at 12:47 am to

Are you going through one as well?
Posted by Gravitiger
Member since Jun 2011
11568 posts
Posted on 7/13/24 at 12:47 am to
quote:

Mine doesn't
That is very unusual.
quote:

I scheduled a 15m intro call with her, and asked her how to pay for it, she brushed me off, and spent an hour on the phone with me hearing my sob story, no charge. I tried to pay her. She refused to even take a consult fee.
The vast majority of attorneys (especially in family law) do free consultations before taking on a client.
This post was edited on 7/13/24 at 12:52 am
Posted by LemmyLives
Texas
Member since Mar 2019
10387 posts
Posted on 7/13/24 at 1:08 am to
Almost two years since final. It got magnitudes worse six months in, so yeah, I'm dealing with suckage. Forseeing problems where the writing is on the wall (super expensive colleges they're wearing sweaters for, but mom wants to take beach trips rather than put some of the massive child support cash into a 529, etc.)

I had to refile once I realized how (shocker) she just wanted the cash and didn't want me to be involved with the kids at all. I've always been on the track of, what is best for the kids is what rules. Specifically, what makes them good adults, is the job of the parents (show up a little bit before you need to be there, etc.) You can be an underwater basket weaving artist or an engineer, but if you show up on time and prepared, you'll probably be in the top 10%.
Posted by LemmyLives
Texas
Member since Mar 2019
10387 posts
Posted on 7/13/24 at 1:14 am to
I always try to pay anyone, for any amount of their expertise. It is unusual, for sure. Like I said, she blew me off and dug in, when I expected to do be a fact finding sort of mission. I tried to pay her beforehand.

The free consult I expected to last 15m, which I also tried to pay for, and it went on for almost an hour. She reviewed decree documents before the call, and was prepared AF.
Posted by Gravitiger
Member since Jun 2011
11568 posts
Posted on 7/13/24 at 1:16 am to
quote:

The free consult I expected to last 15m, which I also tried to pay for, and it went on for almost an hour. She reviewed decree documents before the call, and was prepared AF.
An hour is pretty standard for a free consult. It takes as long as it takes. Longer consult usually means a more complex case and more money in the long run.

They can't charge you unless they advertise it as a paid consult, because they have not agreed to represent you, you have not agreed to hire them, and the estimated cost and fee structure has not been disclosed.

I'd read anything a client could provide before, as well (but they usually don't). And I was not a "shark" by any means. Just reasonably diligent.

Your first post seemed to suggest the lawyer who billed you for emails was gouging you, and the lawyer who didn't bill you for the consult was doing something extraordinary, when really both are standard practice.
This post was edited on 7/13/24 at 1:24 am
Posted by Sofaking2
Member since Apr 2023
13447 posts
Posted on 7/13/24 at 1:20 am to
quote:

Make more babies and find a better mom. It gets better.

I would do this. It won’t replace your daughter, but it would help some. Your daughter would also like having a brother or sister. I know you got burned so easier said than done. My mom and I were talking today about how some moms will poison a child against the father. Using the child as pawns to hurt the dad. Women like this are the worst kinds of parents.
Posted by Sao
East Texas Piney Woods
Member since Jun 2009
68123 posts
Posted on 7/13/24 at 1:22 am to

I sincerely hate it. I'm male and biased but we know the situation is so slanted. I was screwed so my posts are swayed. I'll always root for Dads.
Posted by LemmyLives
Texas
Member since Mar 2019
10387 posts
Posted on 7/13/24 at 1:31 am to
quote:

An hour is pretty standard for a free consult. I'd read anything a client could provide before, as well (but they usually don't).


LOL, I have electric bills scanned from 11 years ago, I'm the guy forwarding you 500mbs of PDFs. I limit commo to once a week/month to avoid being a firehose of "WTF is she doing," but she kept asking me to reach out to her in case I needed anything. I must be one of the rare people that thinks, "No, you get paid for your expertise, I'll bother you when I think it's actually important." Admittedly, I'm not qualified to determine what is material and what is not, but I'm not an idiot.

There is a difference from what I imagine BS consults (I'm not saying yours, but just envisioning what happens when a rando walks in and vents) are from people that are super emotional and those that are in the ultra suck.
first pageprev pagePage 2 of 6Next pagelast page

Back to top
logoFollow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News
Follow us on X, Facebook and Instagram to get the latest updates on LSU Football and Recruiting.

FacebookXInstagram