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Started By
Message
Question About Guardianship
Posted on 10/6/15 at 2:29 pm
Posted on 10/6/15 at 2:29 pm
I know this is isn't the proper place to get real life advice let alone air out family foolishness but I find sometimes people here have real stories and advice that is helpful to others.
My cousin has 2 girls (14 & 18, I'm mainly worried about the younger one, the old girl will graduate high school and can do what she wants) and I've always known they were less fortunate and the parents had many issues. I've lived out of Louisiana for almost 10 years but my wife and I just moved to NOLA and wanted to take advantage to spend more time with the girls. This past weekend we invited the girls to the LSU game with us. After and over dinner they told us stories about their home life that literally made me want to cry. (Parents alcohol/drug abuse & dad peeking in on them while changing was just some of it) My wife and I looked at each other and from across the room we knew we were going to try and have them come live with us. They live on the Northshore and I'm sure at least the dad is going to fight us. My 2 biggest issues are getting the parents on board to let us have them and then finding a decent school in Orleans parish we can afford.
Do any of you have similar situations and can you offer any advise? Or you can just share your story, sometimes that helps.
I'm an educated nice guy trying to do a good thing, go easy on me. Love you OT!
My cousin has 2 girls (14 & 18, I'm mainly worried about the younger one, the old girl will graduate high school and can do what she wants) and I've always known they were less fortunate and the parents had many issues. I've lived out of Louisiana for almost 10 years but my wife and I just moved to NOLA and wanted to take advantage to spend more time with the girls. This past weekend we invited the girls to the LSU game with us. After and over dinner they told us stories about their home life that literally made me want to cry. (Parents alcohol/drug abuse & dad peeking in on them while changing was just some of it) My wife and I looked at each other and from across the room we knew we were going to try and have them come live with us. They live on the Northshore and I'm sure at least the dad is going to fight us. My 2 biggest issues are getting the parents on board to let us have them and then finding a decent school in Orleans parish we can afford.
Do any of you have similar situations and can you offer any advise? Or you can just share your story, sometimes that helps.
I'm an educated nice guy trying to do a good thing, go easy on me. Love you OT!
14
Posted on 10/6/15 at 2:31 pm to wrosev1
You save those 2 girls and show them a normal life. And you do it now
Posted on 10/6/15 at 2:33 pm to wrosev1
You are good people. There should be more like you. I have no experience with this, but wanted to extend a sincere admiration for caring when you don't have to.
Posted on 10/6/15 at 2:33 pm to wrosev1
No real advice.. but you're trying to do a good thing. Good luck. 
ETA: Actually I changed my mind. I went through something like then when I was a little younger than the youngest girl. Involved a step parent as opposed to a blood parent. My siblings and I actually left that house for a year to go live with other relatives.
First, I'd make sure that a change in living situations is something that the girls (especially the younger one) wants. It seems like it is since they told you these stories. Second, you're going to get a fight from the parents and it will be ugly. You have to be ready to sacrifice a considerable amount of time in your relationship with your cousin for the benefit of these girls.
Make sure you try and help the parents out if/when you get the girls. The parents still need help and a parent/child relationship doesn't end at the age of 18. The parents will still need help and still need to fix their problems.
Like I said, at the end of the day you're doing a very good thing and it won't be easy taking in a new teenage girl, especially one that has been through so much. Good luck.
ETA: Actually I changed my mind. I went through something like then when I was a little younger than the youngest girl. Involved a step parent as opposed to a blood parent. My siblings and I actually left that house for a year to go live with other relatives.
First, I'd make sure that a change in living situations is something that the girls (especially the younger one) wants. It seems like it is since they told you these stories. Second, you're going to get a fight from the parents and it will be ugly. You have to be ready to sacrifice a considerable amount of time in your relationship with your cousin for the benefit of these girls.
Make sure you try and help the parents out if/when you get the girls. The parents still need help and a parent/child relationship doesn't end at the age of 18. The parents will still need help and still need to fix their problems.
Like I said, at the end of the day you're doing a very good thing and it won't be easy taking in a new teenage girl, especially one that has been through so much. Good luck.
This post was edited on 10/6/15 at 2:38 pm
Posted on 10/6/15 at 2:34 pm to wrosev1
I have no advice but to say good luck to you. You sound like you really care. Make sure those girls know they can come to you anytime, but I'd think getting custody/guardianship would be very tough without the parents going along with it unless you go have charges filed for the abusive home.
You'd have to make some pretty serious charges to get them legally removed, but if he is peeking on them, you are there IMO.
You'd have to make some pretty serious charges to get them legally removed, but if he is peeking on them, you are there IMO.
This post was edited on 10/6/15 at 2:36 pm
Posted on 10/6/15 at 2:34 pm to wrosev1
if they do not have a track record within CPS, the parents will win any fight.
your best bet it to have a sit down with the whole family
your best bet it to have a sit down with the whole family
This post was edited on 10/6/15 at 2:36 pm
Posted on 10/6/15 at 2:36 pm to wrosev1
Good luck. I support you guysn
Posted on 10/6/15 at 2:38 pm to Tiger Ryno
LINK
It's a short read, but a start on Louisiana Guardianship Laws/processes, etc.
Louisiana Guardianship Lawyers
It's a short read, but a start on Louisiana Guardianship Laws/processes, etc.
Louisiana Guardianship Lawyers
Posted on 10/6/15 at 2:39 pm to Tiger Ryno
Please go visit with a qualified family lawyer. There are mechanisms by which you can possibly protect these children.
Posted on 10/6/15 at 2:45 pm to wrosev1
I knew a girl who was going through the same thing and even worse. She had to officially press charges on the dad to get out of the house. It will be a tough road ahead good luck
Posted on 10/6/15 at 2:45 pm to wrosev1
hide a few ounces of smack throughout the house and call in "an anonymous tip". CPS will be knocking on your door begging for you to take them.
Posted on 10/6/15 at 2:51 pm to wrosev1
God bless you. The oldest can make her own decision if she is 18. The younger could be more difficult. Good luck
Posted on 10/6/15 at 2:55 pm to wrosev1
You'll probably have better luck with schools on the northshore rather than schools in Orleans parish.
Posted on 10/6/15 at 3:13 pm to Bootyrich
quote:
You'll probably have better luck with schools on the northshore rather than schools in Orleans parish.
The dad peeps on his teenage daughters changing. I don't think the school district is the issue here.
Posted on 10/6/15 at 3:46 pm to wrosev1
We took in my wifes nephew a few years ago, but had his parents sign a guardianship form or whatever its called, to set the terms, they knew I could give him more than they could. Similar situation, drug, alcohol abuse, stealing money from his wallet, sold his xbox I bought him and some other stuff. He stayed with us for a couple years, until he graduated, I gave him a car, and a interest free loan for him to get his own place, once he had a job. He is a good kid and works hard, the one thing I tried to get through to him more than anything was that his life does not have to be what his parents life is. At the time I was 24, my own home, nice vehicles, boat, toys, etc, when his 40 something yr old parents did not even own a vehicle. I hope I made a positive difference in his life.
The hardest thing for us was disciplining him, we were 24 and 23, and he started living with us at 16, I think the age gap had a lot to do with him realizing that he had to follow my rules as his guardian as opposed to his cool uncle that I had previously always been able to be. We got through it after a few head butting incidents.
The hardest thing for us was disciplining him, we were 24 and 23, and he started living with us at 16, I think the age gap had a lot to do with him realizing that he had to follow my rules as his guardian as opposed to his cool uncle that I had previously always been able to be. We got through it after a few head butting incidents.
Posted on 10/6/15 at 3:54 pm to wrosev1
Good on ya, mate.
Good luck to you in helping them.
To the O-T for being human and humane:
Good luck to you in helping them.
To the O-T for being human and humane:
Posted on 10/6/15 at 4:01 pm to wrosev1
quote:Triggered
Parents alcohol/drug abuse & dad peeking in on them while changing was just some of it
quote:
I'm sure at least the dad is going to fight us
Triggered as frickPosted on 10/6/15 at 4:06 pm to wrosev1
so is the dad the cousin or the mother?
That dad isn't going to let them walk out the house if he's using them girls to get his rocks off.
Probably will have to get police involved etc, get a good lawyer and plan your attack.
Eta: Also, be careful what you fight for, that 14 yr old can be pregnant any minute now. Just saying, bad household.... it happens every day.
That dad isn't going to let them walk out the house if he's using them girls to get his rocks off.
Probably will have to get police involved etc, get a good lawyer and plan your attack.
Eta: Also, be careful what you fight for, that 14 yr old can be pregnant any minute now. Just saying, bad household.... it happens every day.
This post was edited on 10/6/15 at 4:08 pm
Posted on 10/6/15 at 4:08 pm to Broke
quote:
You save those 2 girls and show them a normal life. And you do it now
this. Assuming the problems are real.
You can't let children be abused and just stand by.
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