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re: Private Investigator Question
Posted on 5/26/14 at 10:16 pm to SJS101
Posted on 5/26/14 at 10:16 pm to SJS101
I'm in the same situation your in. My step daughters dad hasn't paid child support in over a year. I could care less and girls don't care to see him. He works cash job with his wife catering in Monroe. He doesn't hardly ever even call them, sadly, the girls don't even care anymore.
This post was edited on 5/26/14 at 10:17 pm
0
Posted on 5/26/14 at 10:16 pm to SJS101
quote:
It's as much about the principle of it at this point rather then the $$$. We're okay but the kids still want to know what the hell is going on with their father who is putting in a lot of effort to avoid them as well. Shitty situation to be in as a step father.
As someone whose been the child in a situation like this, I think it would be better for all parties involved to cut the father out. He can only do harm at this point, guys like that don't change.
Posted on 5/26/14 at 10:18 pm to SJS101
honestly, if the dude doesn't want to be associated with his kids, then there is not much that you can do to make that happen...sounds to me like you are gonna spend an assload of cash to find him, and just that fast, he'll disappear again...back to the same situation...
Posted on 5/26/14 at 10:20 pm to Spankum
Man, PI's will burn a hole in your wallet faster than soup through a fork.
Posted on 5/26/14 at 10:20 pm to SJS101
Maybe just get a lawyer and have him thrown in jail. That's what we are working on, financial help from my wife's ex would be nice with teenage girls but I'm not concerned with it. Wife is working on landing him in jail, I don't see it happening.
Posted on 5/26/14 at 10:24 pm to windshieldman
quote:
Wife is working on landing him in jail
thats mean
Posted on 5/26/14 at 10:25 pm to Walt OReilly
quote:
thats mean
I kinda agree but don't care at same time
Posted on 5/26/14 at 10:27 pm to windshieldman
I just don't think the kids are ready to have him completely out of their life although it's heading that way quickly with the neglect they have been subjected to. Jail would be awesome for me and the wife, but not sure how ready I am to drive the kids to visit him in prison. That would probably be the only way they would see him again judging by his past, and it just might tip them over to the side of being done with his sorry arse in the long run.
Good info OT. Needed a fresh perspective on this situation
Good info OT. Needed a fresh perspective on this situation
Posted on 5/26/14 at 10:30 pm to SJS101
quote:
I hear ya. But the kids want to know what's up with their father. It's a shitty situation. Him being out of my life is fine, but they want some kind of info and answers to their questions.
They already have their answer. Nothing he does or says is going to satisfy their need to make sense of why they were abandoned. Have the mother invest her time in talking to the kids about the situation or counseling instead and begin letting this open wound scab over. Support enforcement will continue doing their thing. He'll get tired of running one day and will have to face the music.
ETA: Take this from someone who lived through a similar situation.
This post was edited on 5/26/14 at 10:32 pm
Posted on 5/26/14 at 10:31 pm to SJS101
how old are the kids?
Posted on 5/26/14 at 10:32 pm to SJS101
quote:
. Jail would be awesome for me and the wife, but not sure how ready I am to drive the kids to visit him in prison. That would probably be the only way they would see him again judging by his past, and it just might tip them over to the side of being done with his sorry arse in the long run.
not to sound mean, but this reflects very poorly on your wife which makes me nervous for you
Posted on 5/26/14 at 10:34 pm to SJS101
If you and the new old lady truly have the best interests of the kid at heart, forget all of this nonsense. Be good parents, raise the kids right, they'll figure it out. Don't get caught up in the ex's vindictive endeavor, and try to stop her from letting it consume your new family.
This post was edited on 5/26/14 at 10:36 pm
Posted on 5/26/14 at 10:38 pm to SJS101
Be very careful using a PI. You will go through a lot of money very quickly. I would walk entirely away from the bastard and don't ever look back.
Posted on 5/26/14 at 10:41 pm to shutterspeed
quote:
Have the mother invest her time in talking to the kids about the situation or counseling instead and begin letting this open wound scab over
She does a wonderful job of this. They know they are loved and supported on our end. Counseling may be in their future just to let out their frustrations to someone other than me and their mom. They are just at that age where they are beginning to understand the depths of the abandonment they have experienced and they have questions about him that they realize may never be answered. I feel for them, man. That's heavy shite for teenagers.
quote:
how old are the kids?
14 and 16
Posted on 5/26/14 at 10:49 pm to SJS101
Being a step dad is tough sometimes. I have kids of my own also but step kids are like my biological kids to me. They would see their dad on every other weekend when he was trying to get custody but now that he isn't paying he rarely calls them. I used to get frustrated when I was struggling to feed the girls and having to be bad guy step dad raising them and he would call out of blue and promise them the world. Listening to them talk about how awesome he is, well, kinda sucked. He always broke the promises, but I never talk bad about him to the girls, rarely does their mom either. Keep up the good work raising them. This post was edited on 5/26/14 at 10:49 pm
Posted on 5/26/14 at 10:52 pm to 4LSU2
quote:
Post his name here. The OT detectives will have him located by midnight.
Posted on 5/26/14 at 10:52 pm to 777Tiger
quote:
If you and the new old lady truly have the best interests of the kid at heart, forget all of this nonsense. Be good parents, raise the kids right, they'll figure it out. Don't get caught up in the ex's vindictive endeavor, and try to stop her from letting it consume your new family.
I hear ya 777. To us it's nonsense but to them it's not. I have the luxury of perspective they don't have just yet. Part of me wants to give them exactly what they want and locate the bastard and let them see him and seek some kind of closure. I have never spoken badly about him to them, although that has been VERY hard to do. I have encouraged them to have some kind of relationship with him as they were growing up even though I knew what kind of POS he was from the beginning because he was their birth father. I never wanted them to resent me for keeping them away from him. I know they are better off never seeing him but it's hard right now for them to see it that way.
Posted on 5/26/14 at 11:19 pm to SJS101
Spend the money, find him to get him to sign away his rights. Have everything drawn up and ready when you find him.
If you don't do it, it'll be a nightmare tracking him down when the kids need a passport. I know someone who is going through this right now.
If you don't do it, it'll be a nightmare tracking him down when the kids need a passport. I know someone who is going through this right now.
Posted on 5/26/14 at 11:21 pm to SJS101
<----used to be a PI and have some friends in the business. Didn't read the whole OP, but yes it can be very expensive. Probably around $65.00+/hr. Not sure what area you live in, but I know of some that I wouldn't trust to do a thorough job and that will just take your money.
There are data collection services available that PIs subscribe to that the average Joe does not/cannot get access to. The info (particularly the SSN) is usually partially redacted. They require proof of licensing, etc. The ones you see advertised as free are crap.
I don't know this first hand and am not endorsing this because it's not legal and can get you/LEOs in a shite load of trouble, but if you have a trusted acquaintance in law enforcement they can get you some info on the person in question. Or so I've heard.
There are data collection services available that PIs subscribe to that the average Joe does not/cannot get access to. The info (particularly the SSN) is usually partially redacted. They require proof of licensing, etc. The ones you see advertised as free are crap.
I don't know this first hand and am not endorsing this because it's not legal and can get you/LEOs in a shite load of trouble, but if you have a trusted acquaintance in law enforcement they can get you some info on the person in question. Or so I've heard.
Posted on 5/26/14 at 11:26 pm to CMBears1259
quote:
CMBears1259
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