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Message
re: OTs response would be...
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:50 am to CAT
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:50 am to CAT
Sorry for the loss of your father. I will say this, if the insurance policy is a burial policy then it is for the funeral and should be used for that. It is not your responsibility to pay for that in my opinion. Not sure what your relationship is with this woman but in my opinion it is a very selfish thing she is asking.
Look at it this way from the outside perspective. This is me looking at this with no feelings attached because I know none of you.
She is asking children to bury their father so she can fix her house up. To me that is about as selfish as anything I have ever heard in my life.
Look at it this way from the outside perspective. This is me looking at this with no feelings attached because I know none of you.
She is asking children to bury their father so she can fix her house up. To me that is about as selfish as anything I have ever heard in my life.
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:51 am to upgrayedd
* They'd been together 20 years
* Yes, bad planning, your typical day to day type folks
* I'm 42, her kids are close to that and no not by my dad.
* Think her plan is to finish the house, sell and move closer to her kids
* I get along but wouldn't call close, of course closer last few months as he was battling the cancer
* Yes, bad planning, your typical day to day type folks
* I'm 42, her kids are close to that and no not by my dad.
* Think her plan is to finish the house, sell and move closer to her kids
* I get along but wouldn't call close, of course closer last few months as he was battling the cancer
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:51 am to CAT
Tell that bitch the ins money is to bury your father.
Period.
She can wait and finish the house out of the estate settlement.
Period.
She can wait and finish the house out of the estate settlement.
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:52 am to BamaScoop
quote:
She is asking children to bury their father so she can fix her house up. To me that is about as selfish as anything I have ever heard in my life.
That's a pretty good perspective.
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:52 am to CAT
Are you going to inherit the house when she dies, or will it go to her sons, or all of you?
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:53 am to Pettifogger
from my recent experience of losing my Mom, do what you feel is right. It won't be long before all the family "support" vanishes. Once my Mom passed, I saw many family member's true colors. Needless to say, I've distanced myself from them. Sorry for your loss.
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:53 am to CAT
OT not even asking for pics of widow...
Slipping
Slipping
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:54 am to CAT
That's shitty of her but it gives you some leverage.
If she truly needs the money to finish he house, do this..
Deny to cover funeral cost, this is why your father purchased insurance in the fist place. Offer to put up the cash to finish the remodel and negotiate a rate for the loan so when the house is sold you profit.
What you do with the profits are your business.
If she truly needs the money to finish he house, do this..
Deny to cover funeral cost, this is why your father purchased insurance in the fist place. Offer to put up the cash to finish the remodel and negotiate a rate for the loan so when the house is sold you profit.
What you do with the profits are your business.
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:55 am to fr33manator
Here is another option. If the house is paid for, tell her you will do that for 1/4 interest in the house. If she agrees have the paperwork done by an attorney, don't just shake hands on a damn thing. That would be my only option to her.
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:56 am to CAT
quote:
Think her plan is to finish the house, sell and move closer to her kids
get contract to reimburse you 100% upon sale of house
that puts the ball back in her court
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:56 am to Choctaw
quote:
just politely ask "Ummm....i thought the insurance was for funeral costs? That doesn't seem right that you're using it for the house.".
I agree with the above.
And when she tries to push it, tell her that the little extra you had saved up was for vacation.
She isn't your mom so you don't have to feel sorry for her.
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:57 am to crap4brain
quote:
Are you going to inherit the house when she dies, or will it go to her sons, or all of you?
No, this house was bought right before Dad got sick. House was moved to the land (that should tell you something) and she ended up having to hire workers to finish plumbing/heat and air etc and got took in my opinion. I live 2 hours away and couldn't help much with that situation.
Posted on 12/9/15 at 11:57 am to CAT
How much is the funeral?
She sounds trashy as hell to ask that if...
She sounds trashy as hell to ask that if...
quote:
They got the small policy to take care of things if/when he passed.
Posted on 12/9/15 at 12:01 pm to Topwater Trout
Sorry for the loss of your dad.
I would tell her that the insurance money should be used to help with burial expenses. Anything leftover she could have. And then she should just sell the house and get whatever she can out of it and be done with it.
I would tell her that the insurance money should be used to help with burial expenses. Anything leftover she could have. And then she should just sell the house and get whatever she can out of it and be done with it.
Posted on 12/9/15 at 12:05 pm to CAT
So your Dad had an insurance policy, and she is using the proceeds on a house remodel instead of putting it towards the funeral? Yes, that's pretty fricked. You are justified in thinking so. Offsetting funeral expenses is one of the main purposes of life insurance. You are handling it right though. No point in rocking the boat if it is something that you can handle financially.
I'm sorry for your loss.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Posted on 12/9/15 at 12:06 pm to CAT
quote:
* They'd been together 20 years
* Yes, bad planning, your typical day to day type folks
* I'm 42, her kids are close to that and no not by my dad.
* Think her plan is to finish the house, sell and move closer to her kids
* I get along but wouldn't call close, of course closer last few months as he was battling the cancer
This kind of changes things. Many people will give their opinions without having perspective of the situation, not knowing how truly difficult of a solution it is. With the information above all I can say is do what you think is right. Talk with her face to face and try to see her intentions (good or bad). Weigh the positives and negatives of the situation as well, and an alternative solution.
Posted on 12/9/15 at 12:08 pm to CAT
Sorry about the loss of your father.
How many years has she been your stepmom?
Do you feel like you have a relationship with her?
How old is she? 70's? 60's?
How much money are we talking about? 2,000? or 10,000?
How many years has she been your stepmom?
Do you feel like you have a relationship with her?
How old is she? 70's? 60's?
How much money are we talking about? 2,000? or 10,000?
Posted on 12/9/15 at 12:10 pm to CAT
Did his wife make your Dad happy?
How much money are we talking about?
If it was a modest amount and she made my dad happy while he was alive, I'd pay it and move on.
Sorry to hear about your dad.
How much money are we talking about?
If it was a modest amount and she made my dad happy while he was alive, I'd pay it and move on.
Sorry to hear about your dad.
Posted on 12/9/15 at 12:12 pm to Old Sarge
quote:read the thread
How many years has she been your stepmom?
quote:read the thread
Do you feel like you have a relationship with her?
quote:typical funeral is 7-10K. to split three ways, looks like she is asking for $2500-$3500
How much money are we talking about? 2,000? or 10,000?
Posted on 12/9/15 at 12:12 pm to BobABooey
quote:
If it was a modest amount and she made my dad happy while he was alive, I'd pay it and move on.
This is where I would be as well.
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