NOLA client seeks "a real a-hole" lawyer

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Looking for a Real a-hole Lawyer

Hello. I'm looking for a real jackass to paper opposing counsel like ticker tape reigning down on the Mercury 7. I want to depose their mother's neighbor. I want motions about the motions on the other motions. They didn't pick up the phone. They didn't send an email. They just filed a complaint and informed me I had violated XYZ law but could quickly remedy it of I just did what they told me. I don't, to say the least, react well to threats. So rather than settle, I am insisting on my day in court. But I want us to be REALLY prepared for that day. I intend to tie up every mother ******* attorney and paralegal in that stinky office until they are under mounds of paper and they oh so wished that had called me and said, "hey, now what's going on?" But they didn't. So their client will be homeless and bankrupt. Excellent job there Counselor.

I could do it myself but I don't want a fool for a client. I could pay one of the Several attorneys I use for various things but honestly they would cost too much and some of these kind, decent people are often more concerned about what their colleagues think of them in case they decide to run for judge one day than they are about little old me.

I'm looking for a hungry cocky a-hole little shite to scorch some fricking earth. Think Roy Cohn but not as nice. Google his picture. Does he look nice? He isn't. Might it be you? I'm not looking for a law review article. Just tell me why you are the a-hole who will find people to sue using inventive and creative causes of action.

Tell me your hourly rate. This is no joke.

Signed,
Pollyanna

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