re: Mystery pair of panties in my house

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None of this happened..

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I would agree with you, but this isn't the OP's MO at all.

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Mrs. Wishn did reveal that she recalls them being black

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She remembers, and you basically didn't? She took them off of the user. But the fact you didn't pay much attention casts doubt. Any man that discovers underthings in his house he shares with a wife that he doesn't recognize, immediately, immediately goes into damage control and documentation mode. "I didn't know they were here!" "Is this from one of your friends?" etc. You essentially didn't react. Something is going on, somewhere.

Your wife is clearly not Latina, because if it wasn't her doing, you'd already be missing male body parts. She most certainly would stab your in your sleep, after trying to cut your face off.

This is a curb your enthusiasm episode baw

Great points but point if order: my wife has a metric shite ton of panties, only a handful (best guess 10-15) that I readily recognize. Is this normal?

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metric shite ton of panties

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But there is a style to what she wears. Common colors, etc. If I found a pair of full arse covering panties in the laundry, I'd immediately be confused where they came from.

Did friend X (white girl that isn't confident in her body, who might wear shite like this), or was it your friend from Baton Rouge who was on her period? Styles are different, brands are different.

We've been out in formal wear once in two weeks, but there are four pairs of "date panties" in the dryer? Eh, warning. It's a risk assessment scale; are her happy hours until the kids need to be picked up from school, or are they, "I slept at Cheryl's house last night?"

Nah they were around the size she'd wear (she's not fat). I really didn't pay much attention to them though

So you say this:

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I'm telling you she isn't that quick on her feet

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And then you say this:

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Then I ask again, why not just say the panties were hers like I already thought they were?

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So you don’t think that she’s quick enough to come up with a prank, but you think she would be quick enough to come up with a lie?

Sounds like you don’t know your wife and/or you are in denial.

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Y’all have any female relatives, have friends stay over, go on a trip with other couples? There’s a bunch of ways a random article of clothing ended up at your house.

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I mean we explored this, we haven't had any female family members that have stayed here that they could belong to

The one exception is my mom who I will ask tomorrow but that's gonna be kinda awkward lol

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How often do you leave town for work? Most likely, she was the 3rd party for some couple on Craig’s List

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Pretty much never. We are rarely apart for much time at all

Frankly with the young kids and the three year old being in school it would be near impossible for either of us to pull off an affair BUT people do find a way sometimes. I don't think she's cheating but nothing's 100% I'm not naive