re: My fiancee cheated on me.

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He may view himself as the father but a court will not. The only way he keeps his "daughter" is by staying with the mom....

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I think OP said in one of his posts that his name is on the birth certificate, so legally he is the father......although I can't imagine what OP was thinking when he allowed himself to be listed as the legal father to a child who was not biologically his and born to a woman he had only recently started dating for a few months at most.

Louisiana definition of parent....

A "parent" means any living person who is presumed to be a parent under the Civil Code or a biological or adoptive mother or father of a child.

So unless there is adoption paperwork then I don't think signing the certificate makes you a legal parent. Not an OT lawyer by any means though.

It's a tough situation to be in. On one hand, I say "once a cheater always a cheater" but on the other hand, as a parent we tend to sacrifice anything and everything possible to make our children happy and if that means being unhappy with your spouse, never trusting 100% again, and always having resentment toward her in order for your daughter to be happy in ignorant bliss, then so be it. No reason to make her life miserable just to spite your spouse and uphold your own pride.

I get it, you probably want to leave her but it's your daughter you have to think about here, too. Not just the two of you anymore.

If it were me, I'd probably suck it up for my child but I wouldn't be happy about it.

Don't be afraid to seek out professional counseling help. If she is sorry for doing this to you, and the two of you really love each other, both of you will gladly accept help from a professional third party. Prayers to you and your future wife for a peaceful and complete healing from this. Seriously.


ETA: Just read through the thread some more. Looks like y'all are going to split up and as I said above, I really don't blame you because I could go either way here. If the daughter isn't your biological daughter, then that does make the situation slightly better even though she's still "yours" in your eyes.

Still, though, prayers for a peaceful and respectful solution for you.

This thread is really sad.....

nope - but i knew it was her - got a side view of her face and recognized the car she was driving.

wish I had bought a lottery ticket that day LOL - the odds of that happening must have been astronomical.

Two main issues. First, does she still want to be with you? If not, you can't force her to love you. The chasing the shadow that runs from you is a very true adage.

Second. Forgiveness. You will have to find a way to let it go or it will destroy you in the end. If she doesn't love you then you are definitely only hurting yourself. If she is actually sorry for what she has done and wants to move forward, you will see if it is true by her actions.

Tough that a child is caught in the middle. If you left, that may show her in her heart what she has lost. Sometimes people have to realize things that way. But with a child involved, you have to be there for them.

The more you can rise above and be a good example to both of them, the better the situation will play out for you.

Also', get checked for STD's. She has been slinging poon to randoms and probably riding bareback.

When she originally found out she was pregnant she needed somebody to help financially. You happened to be the guy she found. She never cared that you are a decent guy or that you loved her. You are an ATM.

You have to nut up and start protecting yourself. Yesterday.

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This thread is really sad.....

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dukke v

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Well hot damn, I agree with dukke here.

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and always having resentment toward her in order for your daughter to be happy in ignorant bliss, then so be it

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Your attention to detail is apparent. You have done your homework well and are offering solid advice.

Just kidding. You are another fricking monkey that has not read any of the thread and is pounding out advice on the keyboard.

I will give you a hint. The girl is 100% not his daughter.

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Like do I move on, do I keep hope. Keeping hope is stupid, but for some reason it's instinct.

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Move on and keep hope, or what's the alternative? Not moving on and having no hope? No that doesn't sound good.

People talk about "being a survivor" well brother, this is what it's all about. When shite happens in life, being a survivor means getting past it and moving your life into a positive trajectory.

Just give yourself some time to right the ship but never lose sight of the horizon.