Most annoying Coronavirus Buzzwords

Quarantine: a term which is often used by healthy, able-bodied people who want to milk unemployment as long as they can. This is the practice of isolating yourself from society to prevent the spread of diseases, and order $40 worth of take out from the Olive Garden on Waitr while watching Tiger King.

In these uncertain times: if you hear someone say this, they are either trying to sell you a car or about to ask you to donate $50 to a Nurse in Slidell who has never treated a case of Covid19 and already makes decent money plus $1800 a month in child support from two baby daddies.

Social Distancing: keeping a safe distance from others, staying at home if you’re sick, covering your mouth when you cough.. basically stuff that people should have already been doing. A stark contrast to the 35 person orgies which became common during the swine flu pandemic.

Flatten the curve: 90% of politicians and Karens don’t even know what this means, but it makes people sound important. It has something to do with Coronavirus and probably why I can’t get a haircut or watch any live sports.

Lockdown: every 3rd word in a John Bel Edwards press conference.

New Normal: this is probably the most annoying, because it insinuates that I will be harassed at WalMart for going down the wrong isle for the rest of my life.

Front lines: I’m not sure where exactly the front lines of Coronavirus are, but I am guaranteed to hear this at least 500 times a day.

Stay home/ save lives: commonly repeated by Karens and medical professionals to chastise people who have been furloughed or laid off.