Mitch Hedberg Appreciation Thread (time for another one)

This is better than those damn gnome jokes.

The best. I miss him

I went to a New York Pizzeria, the fricker gave me the smallest slice possible. If the pizza was a pie chart for what people would do if they won a million dollars, the fricker gave me the "donate it to charity" slice.

I thought he was pretty terrible, tbh.

I know. Downvotes are coming.

Reading his jokes does them no justice. His presentation is his talent.

I seriously quote the "if you're flammable and have legs, you're never blocking a fire exit" quote maybe once a week.

always get weird lookds. thats a genius joke

Of course you can cuss on satellite radio. No one listening.

"It said "You can have this product for four easy payments of 19.95." I would like to have a product that was available for three easy payments, and one frickin' complicated payment! We ain't gonna tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is gonna be a bitch. The mailman will get shot to death, the envelope will not seal, and the stamp will be in the wrong denomination; good luck, fricker! The last payment must be made in wampum!"