Messed up things we did in College

One my fellow Herget neighbors jizzed daily in his roommate's shampoo bottle who he claimed was a total dick bag. I am sure if I think about it I could come up with some things.

Joined a frat which led me to experiment a lot with drugs... and dudes.

Similar guy and circumstances, friend of a friend was a total crass, douche cockblocker. A few of us tricked him into snorting vodka. After freaking out and crying, He went home soon after but lived.

Circa 2002, herget paint can bombs from the top floor in the stairwell down to basement. The can exploded and paint covered the first 3 floors. I was a bystander for that, just watched the action. Pretty fricked up when you consider someone had to clean it up.

Flipped a car in the Sterling (dont know what it's called now) parking lot that had been 'abandoned' for a few months. It was a piece of shite and we were wasted. Not sure what happened to that thing.

2003 On Campus apartments, my roommate came home with a wildabeast. I was dutifully studying in my room when he came home and realized he had made a mistake. He had shoved the girl in his room and came to me asking for help to get rid of her...i said, "ok" and as soon as he walked out of my room, i shut the door and locked it. He needed to figure that shite out on his own. He was molested that night

College was fun

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Finals week, 05 @ SLU... it was around midnight, everyone in the dorm was studying and I thought it would be a good idea to give the fire extinguishers in the hallway a shot

Well one thing led to another and I went a little overboard with my spraying and smoked out the hallway, and set off the smoke detectors for the whole building and everyone had to evacuate

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Ohhhh we did that too. Friends locked us out of their room in Herget so one of the guys grabbed an extinguisher and blasted it under the door. It was the one with the yellowy powder stuff, completely choked out the whole room and the fire alarm went off.

One guy was known for pissing in the bottom inch of a styrafoam cup, freeze it, then cut off the extra foam. Once frozen, he slide it under peoples door. Real a-hole that guy lol

What you are about to read is wilder than episode 8 of Twin Peaks: The Return .

Whilst sipping an Earl Grey latte outside my favorite coffee shop in Ithaca, some bozo who had just had a verbal altercation with the barista over the lack of warmth in his cheese danish in front of me dropped his wallet as he left the gazebo and stormed inside. I tried to call out to him, but a mouthful of steaming tea made it difficult. The cash stayed intact but several cards were strewn everywhere. After carefully returning all but one of the cards to their slots, I noticed the sole remaining card was for the Cornell library. In an attempt to teach this clodpoll a lesson, (as if i needed his cash or credit cards) i headed straight to the library and checked out every book on psychology and emotion and left them at his door step, along with the wallet and an anonymous note demanding his swift apology.

Long story short: it must have worked, for on my next visit to the coffee shop i was treated to a complimentary low fat gluten free non gmo all natural apple cinnamon fruit tart.

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Also knew a frat boy who took a dump on a chicks chest while she was asleep.

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Knew a guy who hooked up with a chick at his frat house after a party, both were wasted. He woke up the next morning and she was gone. But to his surprise/horror, she had left him a gift. Something smelled a bit 'off' in the room. He opened an ice chest that was out from the night before and found a watery diarrhea splattered all over the inside. Think the chick was a ZTA. Sooooo gross

Happened to drive by a park and recognized my girl's car. Odd because she told me she was "studying" with her sister at her sister's apt. I pulled in the parking lot, saw her on a blanket under an oak tree in a serious make out session with a random guy. That night, went to her apt., jumped up on her hood and shat on her windshield then went to Fred's and killed a bunch of brain cells. The next morning she called me crying hysterically and asked if i would come by and help her clean it
I pretended to be SO shocked and said I couldn't because I was heading out of town.....dumped her 2 days later over some made up drama so she wouldn't put 2 and 2 together.