Is there anything funnier than a Scotsman on a tirade? (probably NSFW)

We have a piper down!

I love a hot female with a Scottish accent.

That's a great tirade too.

Someone in the comment section translated...
"Where the frick am I meant to put my weight! I can't even put on the roof it's dead thin I can't hold on to the gutter what am I meant to do with it! Eh Andrew come hold it for 5 minutes, you fricking wank stain! Don't put- Don't shift your weight, what what the frick are you talking about? I cannot put my weight on the fricking roof, I can put my weight on the gutter, where's it meant to go?"

Man, that had me in tears laughing. It was funny enough when it just sounded like nonsense, but the translation in the comments brought it to a new level of funny.
Dude probably lost a coin toss to be the one on the roof in the first place. He was pissed.

I didn't understand a fricking word he said.

I encountered a Scottish Bagpipe player at a LEO Funeral. I asked him what was worn under the Kilt. He replied, nothing...everything works fine ....