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re: Is it possible for any relationship to stay intact after cheating?
Posted on 1/3/18 at 10:03 am to bayouteche
Posted on 1/3/18 at 10:03 am to bayouteche
quote:
Or is it the end-all to any relationship?
Yes. I'd say goodbye and wouldn't look back.
...doesn't mean it is easy to deal with but I'm not associating myself with someone who cannot be trusted.
1
Posted on 1/3/18 at 10:05 am to bayouteche
It can but it often depends on how long the affair went on and how it was discovered.
If it was a one-night stand type, and the cheater immediately confesses and gets help, then there is a good chance the relationship can be repaired.
But if it was a long, drawn out affair with many cover-ups and multiple meetings, and the cheater is busted by the other spouse or someone who threatens to expose it, now it becomes harder (though not impossible).
If it was a one-night stand type, and the cheater immediately confesses and gets help, then there is a good chance the relationship can be repaired.
But if it was a long, drawn out affair with many cover-ups and multiple meetings, and the cheater is busted by the other spouse or someone who threatens to expose it, now it becomes harder (though not impossible).
Posted on 1/3/18 at 10:07 am to bayouteche
quote:
Is it possible for any relationship to stay intact after cheating?
Anyone saying not possible is dumb. It is not easy, but it happens all the time. Just like people who are physically or emotionally abused stay with their SO all the time.
This post was edited on 1/3/18 at 10:08 am
Posted on 1/3/18 at 10:10 am to bayouteche
Depends if you played a role. People get married to have a relationship both physical and emotional with another human. That is hard wired in our DNA. If you take a job that puts you away from home 80% of the time, you aren’t filling your end of the marriage deal.
Posted on 1/3/18 at 10:11 am to bayouteche
I got out of a relationship in the past year where she cheated.
We started talking again around the holidays. I 100% believe she is genuine in her apologies and her plan to not do stupid shite again, but it's not fricking worth it.
So my answer is no.
We started talking again around the holidays. I 100% believe she is genuine in her apologies and her plan to not do stupid shite again, but it's not fricking worth it.
So my answer is no.
Posted on 1/3/18 at 10:11 am to mikelbr
You do you.
Posted on 1/3/18 at 10:12 am to SG_Geaux
quote:You're talking about people merely staying together, not the relationship being "intact". Those are two very different things.
Anyone saying not possible is dumb. It is not easy, but it happens all the time. Just like people who are physically or emotionally abused stay with their SO all the time.
Posted on 1/3/18 at 10:18 am to Quidam65
The trick is to wear shirts that have someone else's name on them. That way if you need to jump out a window. Sometimes I used to leave a shirt like that on purpose because I got bored.
Temptation will be to go with Shackleford. Don't use it, go with Ryan, or Bill/Will, Ben, or Tom.
Temptation will be to go with Shackleford. Don't use it, go with Ryan, or Bill/Will, Ben, or Tom.
Posted on 1/3/18 at 10:20 am to SG_Geaux
quote:
Anyone saying not possible is dumb
You let other dude's plow while you watch, huh?
Posted on 1/3/18 at 10:20 am to bayouteche
I would say yes, but it wouldn't be easy, and would be painful. I tried it with my ex, but it didn't work out.
Posted on 1/3/18 at 10:22 am to AUCE05
quote:
If you take a job that puts you away from home 80% of the time, you aren’t filling your end of the marriage deal.
Must have missed that part of the vows.
Posted on 1/3/18 at 10:25 am to bayouteche
What if it happened like 5 yrs ago while dating? She never confessed. Fast forward to present day where your married, have a kid and find out by the guy she was cheating on you with. She finally admits it but says she would of never told you?
Posted on 1/3/18 at 10:26 am to AUCE05
Posted on 1/3/18 at 10:32 am to SG_Geaux
That's kind of apples and oranges, until recently unhooking yourself from a cheating husband meant a for sure poor house. So the generation above us have a default forgiveness or go without.
Then there's the old he can change/he's not so bad cliche that comes from being perceived damaged goods and having self esteem brought around to negatives.
So my PSA before I return to being a cad and scoundrel:
Ladies and Lads, if you're in a relationship where you are being abused. you dont have to put up with it. There are people and special someones out there that do and will and can love you for you. Just unhitch your wagon from the loser first.
But yeah in regards to cheating the green-eyed monster exists. And it comes for a lot of swingers, cuckolds, and forgivers.
Then there's the old he can change/he's not so bad cliche that comes from being perceived damaged goods and having self esteem brought around to negatives.
So my PSA before I return to being a cad and scoundrel:
Ladies and Lads, if you're in a relationship where you are being abused. you dont have to put up with it. There are people and special someones out there that do and will and can love you for you. Just unhitch your wagon from the loser first.
But yeah in regards to cheating the green-eyed monster exists. And it comes for a lot of swingers, cuckolds, and forgivers.
Posted on 1/3/18 at 10:35 am to Mike da Tigah
quote:
I think it is true, or let’s say it’s not 100 percent perhaps, but it’s still In the 90 percentile , and so as far as I’m concerned, the odds are just far too much to gamble such a personal investment of self on.
People can definitely grow up and out of destructive behavior.
This post was edited on 1/3/18 at 3:44 pm
Posted on 1/3/18 at 10:49 am to bayouteche
quote:
Or is it the end-all to any relationship?
I know people who carried on in a relationship. Some I wonder why, but I know one couple who made a concerted effort to correct the failing in their marriage and overcome their initial issue to go on to have a long, rock solid marriage without any more infidelity. They're in their 50s now.
Their story is they got married young because she was pregnant. He cheated early in the marriage after kid #1 prior to the subsequent children. He came clean, asked forgiveness, they went to counselling. Both made commitment to be open and avoid using issues surrounding the infidelity as weapons in any arguments or to manipulate. That plus time got them through. They are pretty open about it now and work with couple who are trying to overcome similar issues.
Trust is always the biggest issue, subsequently. But holding the offense is a close second. I would think both require a lot of tome and effort to overcome. Never personally been in that situation.
Posted on 1/3/18 at 10:52 am to bayouteche
It's the end dude. People try and keep it together and some people do stay together but the relationship is never ever the same. Cannot trust someone, cannot be with them, simple as that IMO
Posted on 1/3/18 at 10:58 am to danfraz
quote:
It's the end dude. People try and keep it together and some people do stay together but the relationship is never ever the same. Cannot trust someone, cannot be with them, simple as that IMO
Maybe I'm just a weirdo.
Okay I know I am. I just don't get why people get caught up in that self-important feeling of betrayal. Like the cheater fricked your whole life up for getting some side sex.
"YOU DONE ME WRONGGG. IT'S OVER"
I'm more in alignment with this kind of reaction.
"oh your dumb arse fricked up. don't do that shite again. Come to me and tell me if you wanna spice shite up with some strap-on and handcuff action."
This post was edited on 1/3/18 at 10:59 am
Posted on 1/3/18 at 11:02 am to mikelbr
quote:
I'm more in alignment with this kind of reaction.
"oh your dumb arse fricked up. don't do that shite again. Come to me and tell me if you wanna spice shite up with some strap-on and handcuff action."
Oh please. You know it is rarely about sex and more about intimacy.
Well maybe not in your world.
Posted on 1/3/18 at 11:08 am to mikelbr
Betrayal is one thing. I think most can overcome that. It's the long term effect of sharing things with someone that may frick you over long term.
I should say that I am single never married and have cheated and been cheated on. Kind of a 360 view
I should say that I am single never married and have cheated and been cheated on. Kind of a 360 view
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