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Message
re: I found out I have a 10 year old son - Update Page 10
Posted on 4/26/16 at 11:11 pm to BallCoachinFool
Posted on 4/26/16 at 11:11 pm to BallCoachinFool
quote:
just want this kid to be happy.
Your OP got me pretty choked up. I wish you the best.
But I will say this.... if that was my kid, I wouldn't give two flippidy fricks about mom and step dad. That's my damn child.
I wouldn't go in guns blazing, but I would spend a good year warming the kid up to me, let step dad feel like I am not a threat, then get my damn son back.
Grow a pair, get pissed off, devise a plan, be your sons father.
3
Posted on 4/26/16 at 11:13 pm to BallCoachinFool
Strike 1: Going in raw and letting off inside a very crazy women
Strike 2: Pro-choice
Base-hit: Wanting to be in your son's life
Strike 2: Pro-choice
Base-hit: Wanting to be in your son's life
Posted on 4/26/16 at 11:16 pm to Mr.Perfect
quote:
I wouldn't give two flippidy fricks about mom and step dad. That's my damn child.
Step Dad is the son's father. He raised that kid. If you actually cared about the kid and your position wasn't based solely off of ego then you wouldn't be so willing to hurt him. This is how you make your son hate you forever.
Posted on 4/26/16 at 11:16 pm to BallCoachinFool
quote:
I told him if I ever over step my boundaries then to just say something and I will step back.
quote:
Told me he cried all day knowing that his son would get to meet his biological father.
Slap yourself in the face. You are willing to let another man raise your son
Starting to think you are "aborting" the kid all over again.
You use want to tell yourself you give a damn.
You and me are obviously very different people. I'm glad I have what it takes to be a father. Reading all of this reassures me that I am a great father.
Posted on 4/26/16 at 11:18 pm to Peazey
quote:
Step Dad is the son's father. He raised that kid. If you actually cared about the kid and your position wasn't based solely off of ego then you wouldn't be so willing to hurt him.
I didn't say the OP should move for custody tomorrow.
But the reality is the OP is the father. Step dad is not the father. Pretty simple.
Posted on 4/26/16 at 11:22 pm to Mr.Perfect
I don't think "stealing" a 10 year old from the man that has raised him will help with his emotional roller coaster.
The kid told his step dad that he felt the step dad was the only person that wanted him. I don't feel disrupting that is right for the child and it would be very selfish on my part.
The kid told his step dad that he felt the step dad was the only person that wanted him. I don't feel disrupting that is right for the child and it would be very selfish on my part.
Posted on 4/26/16 at 11:26 pm to BallCoachinFool
Ask him to pull your finger. Always a good ice breaker. 
Posted on 4/26/16 at 11:27 pm to BallCoachinFool
I obviously do not know the entire situation from reading a post on the Internet.
I will kept my remaining thoughts to myself.
I hope you are ready for the most emotional situation you have/will ever face when you meet your son.
I will kept my remaining thoughts to myself.
I hope you are ready for the most emotional situation you have/will ever face when you meet your son.
Posted on 4/26/16 at 11:27 pm to BallCoachinFool
quote:
Does anyone have any suggestions on the best way to approach the situation once I meet the boy?
I am glad we finally have a chance to get to know each other. it will take us both some time.
We can have some fun together sometimes.
I can tell you more about it all when you are older.
For now, let's go to the game. I have tix for LSU vs Jacksonville State.
Posted on 4/26/16 at 11:30 pm to BallCoachinFool
quote:
This is just another grenade in the dumpster fire I call life.
My lawyers are advising me not to get involved so don't bring me into this.
Posted on 4/26/16 at 11:31 pm to BallCoachinFool
Bottom line -- it's your blood; it's your son. Never too late to start a relationship. You have a lot of time to make up.
Posted on 4/26/16 at 11:31 pm to Lester Earl
quote:
I mean I made a harmless joke and all of a sudden I'm making fun of a dead baby.
Give him a minute, he's building up anticipation for a switch em post about sucking you off.
Posted on 4/26/16 at 11:35 pm to BallCoachinFool
Holy shite. You're doing the right thing and the step dad sounds like a great person.
Like you said, do what's best for kid. Don't go negative on anyone. Just assure the kid you care.
Like you said, do what's best for kid. Don't go negative on anyone. Just assure the kid you care.
Posted on 4/26/16 at 11:37 pm to Ralph Malph
quote:
Bottom line -- it's your blood; it's your son.
Bottom line -- OP is a sperm donor to this point.
That kid is the step fathers son and the OP really should tread carefully. This could seriously frick with that kids head.
This post was edited on 4/26/16 at 11:43 pm
Posted on 4/26/16 at 11:41 pm to BallCoachinFool
I didn't know who my biological father was until I was 13 but luckily I didn't have a bat shite crazy mother.
Hopefully you don't have to wait until he's 18 to be able to establish a relationship with him.
Good luck!
Hopefully you don't have to wait until he's 18 to be able to establish a relationship with him.
Good luck!
Posted on 4/26/16 at 11:50 pm to Mr.Perfect
quote:
I didn't say the OP should move for custody tomorrow.
But the reality is the OP is the father. Step dad is not the father. Pretty simple.
No the simple reality is that the boy is 10 years old and halfway to being a man. He will always think of the stepfather as his father. Your position has everything to do with ego and nothing to do with the welfare of the child. Planning to take him away from the stepfather tomorrow, a year from now, or ever is a horrible plan and has nothing to do with being a real man and growing balls. Introducing a bunch more instability into a child's life in his formative years is not looking after the child's best interest. It is just as bad as a mother who keeps a father from having custody of the kids because she wants to punish the father at the expense of the welfare of the children. It takes a person with the emotional maturity of a teenager to not see this. Stop giving advice. You suck at it.
It's a tragic situation, but the best that the OP can hope is to be a positive figure in the kid's life. However, he will probably always be secondary to the step father. All this is assuming that the step father isn't abusive which he doesn't sound to be. It's a difficult situation, and I wish OP the best.
Posted on 4/26/16 at 11:59 pm to BallCoachinFool
quote:
I have no clue what to say when he asks where have I been.
You should discuss this with the stepfather ahead of time.
Good luck. Sounds like you are trying to do the right thing. Even if this kid has a horrible mother...he can now have two men be a positive influence in his life. You and the stepfather.
Posted on 4/27/16 at 12:09 am to lsunurse
After thinking about it a bit, it seems like the stepfather was making it seem like the mother had been telling the boy that biological father didn't want him. Probably addressing that some would be part of the path. That seems like it might be what the stepfather had in mind to some extent. Might be hard to do without attacking the mother, but I guess that's the line to walk. After that, like nurse said, asking the step for basic interest and keep it light to those, easing in to get to know him. Anyway, I guess that's my advice for whatever it's worth.
Posted on 4/27/16 at 12:14 am to Peazey
sounds like you are a stand up man and will be a natural mentor for the child. I truly wish you the best, maNY of us could easilybe in your shoes. if the son is anything like the father he will be fine. society needs more people like you.
Posted on 4/27/16 at 12:43 am to Mr.Perfect
quote:
Grow a pair, get pissed off, devise a plan, be your sons father.
that's your ego speaking daddio
the step dad sounds like a decent guy, who IS the father figure whom the real dad needs to work with to figure it out
trying to muscle in is as stupid as that deal in florida a few years back...girls got mixed up at birth, the effed up courts tore up two families with that abortion of a decision....frikkin idiots
without any outside interference, the two dads should be able to salvage the trainwreck
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