re: How many friends did you lose after settling down?

quote:

---

I mean you really think it's cool to go off bar hopping with your buds while your wife is home with a newborn likely still sore from having a baby?

---

OP says "SO" on page 1. Sounds like dude is young and unmarried and knocked up his girlfriend. Which is fine if it works.. but I'd hardly consider that the traditional definition of "settling down".... and you can't really expect your 23 year old (likely unmarried) friends to be there while you're doing this because they're nowhere near that point.

This isn't like everyone is married and having kids at the same time.

quote:

---

Indfanfromcol

---

Whoa... You sound like a POS. If your boy wants to date a cheating whore that's his business. You're the dick here.

quote:

---

Damn right! I didn't even really start going out much until my late 20s. Not gonna stop now. I got no time for women and babies.

---

Single, married, kids, no kids...it don't matter we always have kept in touch and traveled with couple friends and single friends. Make time for people. People often think that marriage is a license to get old, boring and fat.

quote:

---

Me and my SO just had a baby not even two weeks ago and my friends are dropping like flies. I'm finding out quick who my real friends are.

---

They aren't real friends because they don't want to hang out with your baby? Ok.

quote:

---

We are engaged, and I do not regret anything. We are happy

---

That has literally zero to do with that I said.

Look, I'm your age. I know how 95% of males your age are. You're not in your 30s with a group of married friends who are all going through the same stuff.. You're young and likely have mostly (if not all) unmarried friends who are completely unconcerned with marriage and babies. They are not required to hang out with your kid.. and there's a good chance they don't even know how to really hang around your kid in the first place. Personally, I am not a baby/kids person and since I don't have my own, I wouldn't know how to act around someone else's newborn.

Also.. you said it's been less than 2 weeks. Hell, I go that long without talking to some of my friends all the time. If I was busy taking care of a newborn, I don't even think I'd notice for weeks upon weeks that a friend hasn't talked to me.

quote:

---

No it's not that. One of my good friends has yet to send me a text or anything. He has yet came by to see how I'm doing or check on the baby. If he had just had a baby I would at least send him a congrats text or something

---

Now this is a little different. It would have been nice of him to say congrats. But maybe it's just something he's not familiar with and isn't sure how to act... ?

you quickly lose your drinking buddies as soon as you have kids, once your kid can socialize your kids friends parents now become your friends and not your drinking buddies... better hope the kid chooses wisely

quote:

---

frick that. No way I would want to have kids in my early 20s. Best time of your life when you are making money, traveling, with no real responsibilities other than a job. There is a reason most people wait longer these days.

---

Difference in perspective. The majority of 20 somethings don't travel anyways. All they do is hang out at some shitty club and then go get high in an apartment. I'm gonna have both kids out of my house in my early 40's, with actual money to spend.

quote:

---

frick that. No way I would want to have kids in my early 20s. Best time of your life when you are making money, traveling, with no real responsibilities other than a job. There is a reason most people wait longer these days.

---

I left high school and worked with my dad starting out with 60k a year (with nothing but an eventual truck note). Traveling and partying everywhere. I decided I was ready to move on and now at 25 just had my second kid. I love where I'm at. Love that I'm a young parent. It's subjective. The partying gets old sooner for some people.

I have 2 good friends with kids. They know to call me when they're available to hang out. One of them has a 8month old that doesn't say a word. He will put him on the table in his car seat thing and he just snoozes. The other has a 2 year old chubby wrecking ball girl that I won't be around unless its at his house.