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re: How do you deal w/a family member who's a selfish pathological lying professional victim?
Posted on 3/30/25 at 8:53 pm to MRTigerFan
Posted on 3/30/25 at 8:53 pm to MRTigerFan
quote:
What does this mean?
When they are confronted with things, they later pretend like it never happened
Posted on 3/30/25 at 8:57 pm to Harry Rex Vonner
quote:
How do you deal w/a family member who's a selfish pathological lying professional victim?
I dont
Posted on 3/30/25 at 8:59 pm to Harry Rex Vonner
quote:
When they are confronted with things, they later pretend like it never happened
Ah ok I understand now.
Sorry man I don't have any advice for you here. Sounds like mental illness and you will need professional help I think.
Posted on 3/30/25 at 9:05 pm to soccerfüt
quote:You are correct.
To have this opinion, you have not experienced true evil.
There are certainly circumstances where you have to cut off family.
God forbid it.
This post was edited on 3/30/25 at 9:26 pm
Posted on 3/30/25 at 9:10 pm to Harry Rex Vonner
Your real name Barron?
Posted on 3/30/25 at 9:11 pm to Harry Rex Vonner
Excize them from the body of your life like Jimmy Swaggart.
Posted on 3/30/25 at 9:13 pm to Harry Rex Vonner
Jealous? Sounds like he or she has enough money to be lazy if they choose that path. It sounds like he or she is just a spoiled rotten adult that never grew up and doesn't give two fricks, not even about themselves in all honesty.
I mean what can you do? Cut them off and not deal with the negative BS. Problem solved
I mean what can you do? Cut them off and not deal with the negative BS. Problem solved
This post was edited on 3/30/25 at 9:17 pm
Posted on 3/30/25 at 9:16 pm to Harry Rex Vonner
Thought this was about my mom.
Posted on 3/30/25 at 9:18 pm to Harry Rex Vonner
Sounds like an episode of righteous gemstones IMO
Posted on 3/30/25 at 9:19 pm to Harry Rex Vonner
Block their number? Seems pretty easy to do.
Posted on 3/30/25 at 10:18 pm to tigafan4life
I have family like this.
The biggest gain I ever had personally was realizing that some people actually believe the lies that they have made up. Once I realized that my truth and logic can’t compete, I realized that my life is better off being at a distance.
I am truthful with myself and with others and I do not waste precious energy or effort with people who cannot reciprocate.
This means having to pull the bandaid off with some family members and exclude myself from gatherings and I’ll always offer my side when declining. I refuse to let someone drain my happiness. I am not and will never be a good faker. Life goes on.
The biggest gain I ever had personally was realizing that some people actually believe the lies that they have made up. Once I realized that my truth and logic can’t compete, I realized that my life is better off being at a distance.
I am truthful with myself and with others and I do not waste precious energy or effort with people who cannot reciprocate.
This means having to pull the bandaid off with some family members and exclude myself from gatherings and I’ll always offer my side when declining. I refuse to let someone drain my happiness. I am not and will never be a good faker. Life goes on.
Posted on 3/30/25 at 10:26 pm to Harry Rex Vonner
Tell him to stop watching MSNBC and The View all day. He sounds like a lazy liberal
Posted on 3/30/25 at 10:35 pm to Harry Rex Vonner
Naivety is a sin too you know.
Posted on 3/30/25 at 11:05 pm to Harry Rex Vonner
From experience, you will have to minimize your interaction with them. If that means you avoid family functions, then that's what it means. I'm sure everyone knows (and condones) his bad behavior and you don't have to have to subject yourself to that nonsense. I have a lot of non-confrontational family members who were unwilling to deal with the bad behavior directly. If they want to sign up for crazy town then that's on them.
If you're an executor and are forced to be the financial middle man, then I would farm that job out to the Trust department of a bank so you don't have to deal with it at all -- and I would ensure that the part of the Trust assigned to him pays for it. You don't have to put up with abuse. And, please, tell him to frick off for me. Thanks.
If you're an executor and are forced to be the financial middle man, then I would farm that job out to the Trust department of a bank so you don't have to deal with it at all -- and I would ensure that the part of the Trust assigned to him pays for it. You don't have to put up with abuse. And, please, tell him to frick off for me. Thanks.
Posted on 3/31/25 at 5:32 am to Harry Rex Vonner
My older sister and I had to cut off our younger sister after some truly outrageous, disrespectful and, frankly, ridiculous behavior.
What we've found is that with no living parents to organize around, your immediate family relationships become entirely voluntary.
I wouldn't let a neighbor treat me like shite and still go back to the well for more, why would I allow that from my own sister? I love her and wish her well but I'm done absent evidence of serious change on her part.
What we've found is that with no living parents to organize around, your immediate family relationships become entirely voluntary.
I wouldn't let a neighbor treat me like shite and still go back to the well for more, why would I allow that from my own sister? I love her and wish her well but I'm done absent evidence of serious change on her part.
This post was edited on 3/31/25 at 6:17 am
Posted on 3/31/25 at 6:55 am to RoyalWe
quote:
If you're an executor and are forced to be the financial middle man, then I would farm that job out to the Trust department of a bank so you don't have to deal with it at all -- and I would ensure that the part of the Trust assigned to him pays for it. You don't have to put up with abuse. And, please, tell him to frick off for me. Thanks.
That's just the thing, I'm not. I only give him advice on who to go to, because he's been too lazy to understand anything about simple mutual fund investment his whole life. Whatever money he has left, he has ZERO clue what it's invested in. I don't want a penny of his money, and I've given him well over 8K and he never appreciated it. Doesn't sound like much but that was ten years ago, so 8K was not a small amount then.
I even bought him an IRA in the 90's, a measly $250, for his birthday. So I told him, start putting a tiny amount into that each month. He was in his early-mid 20's. He proceeds to go to the investment office on that and screams at some girl while he was trying to just cash it in. He has zero appreciation for me buying it for him, and too lazy to appreciate the idea of what I was helping him start. He just wanted the fricking money so he could go buy fricking pot. So that investment office barred him from the premises and told him they didn't want his business ever again. Fast forward, same fricking thing just happened a few weeks ago (30 years later!) because of how he spoke to his investment guy on the phone.
Posted on 3/31/25 at 7:54 am to Harry Rex Vonner
quote:
That's just the thing, I'm not. I only give him advice on who to go to, because he's been too lazy to understand anything about simple mutual fund investment his whole life. Whatever money he has left, he has ZERO clue what it's invested in. I don't want a penny of his money, and I've given him well over 8K and he never appreciated it. Doesn't sound like much but that was ten years ago, so 8K was not a small amount then.
I even bought him an IRA in the 90's, a measly $250, for his birthday. So I told him, start putting a tiny amount into that each month. He was in his early-mid 20's. He proceeds to go to the investment office on that and screams at some girl while he was trying to just cash it in. He has zero appreciation for me buying it for him, and too lazy to appreciate the idea of what I was helping him start. He just wanted the fricking money so he could go buy fricking pot. So that investment office barred him from the premises and told him they didn't want his business ever again. Fast forward, same fricking thing just happened a few weeks ago (30 years later!) because of how he spoke to his investment guy on the phone.
Sounds like it's "breakup" time. It might make you feel better to lay out all of the issues to him when you tell him "we're done", but from the sounds of it don't expect it to make a difference.
It sounds like he has little going on in his life (his choice). Over the years I've found that people like that tend to be more dramatic because it helps them feel important, like things are going on in their life. The lying and hysterics are an expression of that (and possibly an attempt to cover inadequacies so he doesn't have to acknowledge them).
He's an adult, they are his problems to fix, not yours. That's far easier said than done, but in cases like this it helps to keep repeating that to yourself as you work your way through this.
Good luck to you.
Posted on 3/31/25 at 8:10 am to Harry Rex Vonner
quote:
I believe in prayer, and I pray. Lord God it has not worked. Maybe I'm a bad prayer deliverer.
You can pray
You can forgive
You can love
You don't have to have them around if they don't wish it. That doesn't make you a bad person. Makes you sane.
Posted on 3/31/25 at 8:56 am to Harry Rex Vonner
quote:Sometimes, some people just aren't willing to participate in the fruits of salvation. They are in their own way. Them and no one else.
Issues include: Been lazy their whole life. Pathological liar since ten years old. Push straight talk from others to them down to road 4 hours, or 4 weeks, or four years, and then pretend it never happened. They have zero clue how much money they have (mostly inherited) because they're too lazy to even keep track of it, plus they've wasted tons of it. And they expect YOU to pay for EVERYTHING. And they scream at you, at other family, and at anyone in the community who doesn't kowtow to their crybaby arse. They are "victims" of doctors, financial advisors who refuse to put up with their vicious attitude, whoever.
So if you want to pray, just pray that the person will be broken and exchange "my will be done" for "thy will be done".
But, it will have to come from them. Perhaps God has already granted it, and they've ignored it. It's pride. It's all pride.
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