Started By
Message

re: How do you deal w/a family member who's a selfish pathological lying professional victim?

Posted on 3/30/25 at 8:53 pm to
Posted by Harry Rex Vonner
American southerner
Member since Nov 2013
43418 posts
Posted on 3/30/25 at 8:53 pm to
quote:

What does this mean?




When they are confronted with things, they later pretend like it never happened
Posted by 4Bagger
Member since Jan 2025
280 posts
Posted on 3/30/25 at 8:57 pm to
quote:

How do you deal w/a family member who's a selfish pathological lying professional victim?


I dont
Posted by MRTigerFan
Baton Rouge
Member since Sep 2008
5425 posts
Posted on 3/30/25 at 8:59 pm to
quote:

When they are confronted with things, they later pretend like it never happened

Ah ok I understand now.
Sorry man I don't have any advice for you here. Sounds like mental illness and you will need professional help I think.
Posted by 214
Geaux Tigers
Member since Mar 2025
3929 posts
Posted on 3/30/25 at 9:05 pm to
quote:

To have this opinion, you have not experienced true evil.
You are correct.

There are certainly circumstances where you have to cut off family.

God forbid it.
This post was edited on 3/30/25 at 9:26 pm
Posted by tokenBoiler
Lafayette, Indiana
Member since Aug 2012
4841 posts
Posted on 3/30/25 at 9:10 pm to
Your real name Barron?
Posted by Mizz-SEC
Inbred Huntin' In The SEC
Member since Jun 2013
20991 posts
Posted on 3/30/25 at 9:11 pm to
Excize them from the body of your life like Jimmy Swaggart.
Posted by HattiesburgTiger5439
Hattiesburg ms
Member since Sep 2023
738 posts
Posted on 3/30/25 at 9:13 pm to
Jealous? Sounds like he or she has enough money to be lazy if they choose that path. It sounds like he or she is just a spoiled rotten adult that never grew up and doesn't give two fricks, not even about themselves in all honesty.
I mean what can you do? Cut them off and not deal with the negative BS. Problem solved
This post was edited on 3/30/25 at 9:17 pm
Posted by CharlesLSU
Member since Jan 2007
32769 posts
Posted on 3/30/25 at 9:16 pm to
Thought this was about my mom.
Posted by 225rumpshaker
Texas
Member since Sep 2006
11080 posts
Posted on 3/30/25 at 9:18 pm to
Sounds like an episode of righteous gemstones IMO
Posted by tigafan4life
Member since Dec 2006
50161 posts
Posted on 3/30/25 at 9:19 pm to
Block their number? Seems pretty easy to do.
Posted by Monday
Prairieville
Member since Mar 2013
5087 posts
Posted on 3/30/25 at 10:18 pm to
I have family like this.

The biggest gain I ever had personally was realizing that some people actually believe the lies that they have made up. Once I realized that my truth and logic can’t compete, I realized that my life is better off being at a distance.

I am truthful with myself and with others and I do not waste precious energy or effort with people who cannot reciprocate.

This means having to pull the bandaid off with some family members and exclude myself from gatherings and I’ll always offer my side when declining. I refuse to let someone drain my happiness. I am not and will never be a good faker. Life goes on.
Posted by FLTech
the A
Member since Sep 2017
22001 posts
Posted on 3/30/25 at 10:26 pm to
Tell him to stop watching MSNBC and The View all day. He sounds like a lazy liberal
Posted by tketaco
Sunnyside, Houston
Member since Jan 2010
21186 posts
Posted on 3/30/25 at 10:35 pm to
Naivety is a sin too you know.
Posted by RoyalWe
Prairieville, LA
Member since Mar 2018
3778 posts
Posted on 3/30/25 at 11:05 pm to
From experience, you will have to minimize your interaction with them. If that means you avoid family functions, then that's what it means. I'm sure everyone knows (and condones) his bad behavior and you don't have to have to subject yourself to that nonsense. I have a lot of non-confrontational family members who were unwilling to deal with the bad behavior directly. If they want to sign up for crazy town then that's on them.

If you're an executor and are forced to be the financial middle man, then I would farm that job out to the Trust department of a bank so you don't have to deal with it at all -- and I would ensure that the part of the Trust assigned to him pays for it. You don't have to put up with abuse. And, please, tell him to frick off for me. Thanks.
Posted by kywildcatfanone
Wildcat Country!
Member since Oct 2012
130691 posts
Posted on 3/31/25 at 5:08 am to
Loving separation
Posted by Hondo Blacksheep
Member since Jul 2022
2837 posts
Posted on 3/31/25 at 5:32 am to
My older sister and I had to cut off our younger sister after some truly outrageous, disrespectful and, frankly, ridiculous behavior.

What we've found is that with no living parents to organize around, your immediate family relationships become entirely voluntary.

I wouldn't let a neighbor treat me like shite and still go back to the well for more, why would I allow that from my own sister? I love her and wish her well but I'm done absent evidence of serious change on her part.
This post was edited on 3/31/25 at 6:17 am
Posted by Harry Rex Vonner
American southerner
Member since Nov 2013
43418 posts
Posted on 3/31/25 at 6:55 am to
quote:

If you're an executor and are forced to be the financial middle man, then I would farm that job out to the Trust department of a bank so you don't have to deal with it at all -- and I would ensure that the part of the Trust assigned to him pays for it. You don't have to put up with abuse. And, please, tell him to frick off for me. Thanks.



That's just the thing, I'm not. I only give him advice on who to go to, because he's been too lazy to understand anything about simple mutual fund investment his whole life. Whatever money he has left, he has ZERO clue what it's invested in. I don't want a penny of his money, and I've given him well over 8K and he never appreciated it. Doesn't sound like much but that was ten years ago, so 8K was not a small amount then.

I even bought him an IRA in the 90's, a measly $250, for his birthday. So I told him, start putting a tiny amount into that each month. He was in his early-mid 20's. He proceeds to go to the investment office on that and screams at some girl while he was trying to just cash it in. He has zero appreciation for me buying it for him, and too lazy to appreciate the idea of what I was helping him start. He just wanted the fricking money so he could go buy fricking pot. So that investment office barred him from the premises and told him they didn't want his business ever again. Fast forward, same fricking thing just happened a few weeks ago (30 years later!) because of how he spoke to his investment guy on the phone.


Posted by Bard
Definitely NOT an admin
Member since Oct 2008
55750 posts
Posted on 3/31/25 at 7:54 am to
quote:

That's just the thing, I'm not. I only give him advice on who to go to, because he's been too lazy to understand anything about simple mutual fund investment his whole life. Whatever money he has left, he has ZERO clue what it's invested in. I don't want a penny of his money, and I've given him well over 8K and he never appreciated it. Doesn't sound like much but that was ten years ago, so 8K was not a small amount then.

I even bought him an IRA in the 90's, a measly $250, for his birthday. So I told him, start putting a tiny amount into that each month. He was in his early-mid 20's. He proceeds to go to the investment office on that and screams at some girl while he was trying to just cash it in. He has zero appreciation for me buying it for him, and too lazy to appreciate the idea of what I was helping him start. He just wanted the fricking money so he could go buy fricking pot. So that investment office barred him from the premises and told him they didn't want his business ever again. Fast forward, same fricking thing just happened a few weeks ago (30 years later!) because of how he spoke to his investment guy on the phone.


Sounds like it's "breakup" time. It might make you feel better to lay out all of the issues to him when you tell him "we're done", but from the sounds of it don't expect it to make a difference.

It sounds like he has little going on in his life (his choice). Over the years I've found that people like that tend to be more dramatic because it helps them feel important, like things are going on in their life. The lying and hysterics are an expression of that (and possibly an attempt to cover inadequacies so he doesn't have to acknowledge them).

He's an adult, they are his problems to fix, not yours. That's far easier said than done, but in cases like this it helps to keep repeating that to yourself as you work your way through this.

Good luck to you.
Posted by thejudge
Westlake, LA
Member since Sep 2009
14760 posts
Posted on 3/31/25 at 8:10 am to
quote:

I believe in prayer, and I pray. Lord God it has not worked. Maybe I'm a bad prayer deliverer.




You can pray

You can forgive

You can love

You don't have to have them around if they don't wish it. That doesn't make you a bad person. Makes you sane.
Posted by bayoubengals88
LA
Member since Sep 2007
21470 posts
Posted on 3/31/25 at 8:56 am to
quote:

Issues include: Been lazy their whole life. Pathological liar since ten years old. Push straight talk from others to them down to road 4 hours, or 4 weeks, or four years, and then pretend it never happened. They have zero clue how much money they have (mostly inherited) because they're too lazy to even keep track of it, plus they've wasted tons of it. And they expect YOU to pay for EVERYTHING. And they scream at you, at other family, and at anyone in the community who doesn't kowtow to their crybaby arse. They are "victims" of doctors, financial advisors who refuse to put up with their vicious attitude, whoever.

Sometimes, some people just aren't willing to participate in the fruits of salvation. They are in their own way. Them and no one else.

So if you want to pray, just pray that the person will be broken and exchange "my will be done" for "thy will be done".
But, it will have to come from them. Perhaps God has already granted it, and they've ignored it. It's pride. It's all pride.
first pageprev pagePage 3 of 4Next pagelast page

Back to top
logoFollow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News
Follow us on X, Facebook and Instagram to get the latest updates on LSU Football and Recruiting.

FacebookXInstagram