re: Homeowner’s Association Stories

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About 20 years ago I rented a house in a neighborhood that had an annoying HOA. The day I moved in, this wormy little 60-yr-old dork knocked on my door, introduced himself with much gravitas, and lectured / pre-threatened me about carefully sorting my recycling and trash. Dude said he would be spot checking me, and that it was totally legal in that state. Cited chapter and verse. Also said they would fine me some amount per day if I didn't bring my trash can back from the street on trash day, or if I put it out the day before.

I said I would not need his assistance managing my trash and shut the door in his face. Dude called my landlord, who then called me and said the guy was a choad and to just ignore him.

Nothing ever happened, but that cured me of HOAs for life. F all that. Seems like those boards attract power-hungry little bitches who just want to dominate their neighbors, feel important, compensate for whatever.

No thanks.

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A friend of mine had that same interaction (about garbage and recycling). After a few weeks the same HOA nerd showed up and wanted to know why he wasnt putting stuff on the street for pickup. My friend replied "I dont generate any trash" and closed the door in his face. The nerd took that as a challenge and staked out my friends house from a few doors down, sat in his car for hours...

My friend would just wave at him as he drove out of the driveway.

The nerd never figured out that my friend just tossed his trash and boxes into the bed of his truck and threw it in his work dumpster.



I live in an older neighborhood that has lax regulations. We pay $250 a year and that covers all the common area mowing and maintenance. We have an annual Christmas party too. Dues are voluntary, but every house in the neighborhood gets a quarterly newsletter. It shows how every dollar was spent and a list of everyone in the neighborhood and what they have (or have not paid) and your address.

If you see someone who hasnt paid we make fun of them, publicly.