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re: Help dealing with someone with Dementia
Posted on 9/13/21 at 3:39 pm to Not Cooper
Posted on 9/13/21 at 3:39 pm to Not Cooper
it is hard - my dad currently has late stage Demntia now. he was a caring man before, but he is an insufferable dick to my mom now - and bless her heart she doesn't give up on him.
only recourse is for her to find a facility that specializes in Dementia or related illnesses and move them into it. believe me, we have done the same with my dad - just my mom suffers from major guilt in even looking into it.
only recourse is for her to find a facility that specializes in Dementia or related illnesses and move them into it. believe me, we have done the same with my dad - just my mom suffers from major guilt in even looking into it.
1
Posted on 9/13/21 at 3:39 pm to Not Cooper
Maybe that wasn’t the right nursing home. There are places that are specifically just for people with dementia.
Posted on 9/13/21 at 3:45 pm to real turf fan
quote:
Since he's still in that stage where he's mean, make sure he's not hitting or otherwise physically abusing your GF.
I wish he would fricking try, she could frick his frail arse up pretty easily these days
Posted on 9/13/21 at 3:46 pm to Kramer26
quote:
Maybe that wasn’t the right nursing home.
It definitely was not. They were disorganized, and just didn't have their shite together in general. So pulling him out wasn't solely him being unreasonable
Posted on 9/13/21 at 3:47 pm to Not Cooper
24 hours sitters aren't cheap, so obviously there's money for his care. Seek out a facility that specializes in dementia as they will know how to treat him, because this won't get any better without professional help and medication.
Posted on 9/13/21 at 3:48 pm to Not Cooper
Have GF get a “burner” phone change # in dads phone to said burner. then forward all
Calls to burner phone to GF’s sisters phone.
Otherwise , place him in a facility that mainly deals with dementia & don’t give him / them her #
She has no “legal” obligation for him unless she choses to.
She will still have visitation rights.
Because love someone does not mean you have to “support” them at the expense of your own mental health.
“Put your oxygen mask on first before attempting to help others”
Calls to burner phone to GF’s sisters phone.
Otherwise , place him in a facility that mainly deals with dementia & don’t give him / them her #
She has no “legal” obligation for him unless she choses to.
She will still have visitation rights.
Because love someone does not mean you have to “support” them at the expense of your own mental health.
“Put your oxygen mask on first before attempting to help others”
Posted on 9/13/21 at 3:49 pm to Not Cooper
Have him run for some sort of office.
Profit.
Profit.
Posted on 9/13/21 at 3:54 pm to Thracken13
quote:
just my mom suffers from major guilt in even looking into it.
My GF suffers from guilt as well. When she blocked him she felt bad every day, but relieved that she could live her life. I feel for you.
Posted on 9/13/21 at 4:16 pm to Not Cooper
quote:
We have talked about maybe putting him back and only allowing him his phone for a few hours a day
That may be the best option, at least to stop his calls to your girlfriend. There wouldn't be as much of a need to give him a phone since the nursing home would obviously call if there were an emergency.
I'm sorry that y'all are having to deal with this. Dementia and/or Alzheimer's are bad enough to deal with in someone you had a good relationship with it, I can't imagine dealing with it in this particular situation. Y'all have my prayers.
This post was edited on 9/13/21 at 4:20 pm
Posted on 9/13/21 at 4:57 pm to Not Cooper
Call the White House and ask them how they are handling it.
This post was edited on 9/13/21 at 7:11 pm
Posted on 9/13/21 at 5:19 pm to Not Cooper
Put them in a nursing home.
Posted on 9/13/21 at 5:23 pm to Flashback
it is not as cut and dry and just putting them into a nursing home. the OP's situation, like my dad's, is such that a lot of them either wont or are able to provide the type of care and understanding that someone like that would require.
just have to find one that handles mental disabilities.
my Dad is retired military - the VA has an assisted living place in Bay Minette and also in Biloxi - but the cost for them is really high, and since my mom is the primary care giver and unable to work due to providing round the clock care, it is difficult.
just have to find one that handles mental disabilities.
my Dad is retired military - the VA has an assisted living place in Bay Minette and also in Biloxi - but the cost for them is really high, and since my mom is the primary care giver and unable to work due to providing round the clock care, it is difficult.
This post was edited on 9/13/21 at 5:24 pm
Posted on 9/13/21 at 6:14 pm to Not Cooper
My dad was diagnosed in 2018. It is horrible. I get up to 10 calls a day from my dad sometimes. He is usually off his rocker and has delusions. He has lapses and forgets who people are an relationships. It is weird.
He acts genuinely surprised when I tell him I met his parents and siblings. He treats most interactions like I am a casual acquaintance. He has referred to me as his brother, cousin and uncle.
The only thing that is good is that it doesn't last forever. I try to tell my kids every day that passes is likely his best day left and treat him accordingly.
He is also very hearing impaired and will not wear the aids. That makes it even harder.
Very shitty disease!
He acts genuinely surprised when I tell him I met his parents and siblings. He treats most interactions like I am a casual acquaintance. He has referred to me as his brother, cousin and uncle.
The only thing that is good is that it doesn't last forever. I try to tell my kids every day that passes is likely his best day left and treat him accordingly.
He is also very hearing impaired and will not wear the aids. That makes it even harder.
Very shitty disease!
Posted on 9/13/21 at 6:18 pm to Not Cooper
Have the doctor place him in a Senior Behavioral Unit so they can determine what drugs will work to settle him down. That or find an nursing home with a Dementia (Alzheimer’s) hall.
Posted on 9/13/21 at 6:21 pm to Not Cooper
quote:
36 calls since last night
I wonder how many times a day she asked him a question, for help or needed something when she was a little kid. Probably more than 36.
Posted on 9/13/21 at 6:31 pm to fancy like applebees
Put him in a nursing home and don't give him a phone. Tell him to write letters.
She can go by and visit when she feels like it and leave when he acts up.
Some things you can fix, some things you cannot. Protect her.
She can go by and visit when she feels like it and leave when he acts up.
Some things you can fix, some things you cannot. Protect her.
Posted on 9/13/21 at 6:33 pm to Not Cooper
Block the number. What’s the problem?
Posted on 9/13/21 at 6:36 pm to Not Cooper
quote:
she is trying to be the bigger person
Wise man say, sometime bigger person easier to step on.
Posted on 9/13/21 at 6:38 pm to Not Cooper
Bring him to the zoo and let him accidentally wonder into the tiger cage.
Posted on 9/13/21 at 6:42 pm to ShermanTxTiger
quote:
My dad was diagnosed in 2018. It is horrible. I get up to 10 calls a day from my dad sometimes. He is usually off his rocker and has delusions. He has lapses and forgets who people are an relationships. It is weird.
He acts genuinely surprised when I tell him I met his parents and siblings. He treats most interactions like I am a casual acquaintance. He has referred to me as his brother, cousin and uncle.
The only thing that is good is that it doesn't last forever. I try to tell my kids every day that passes is likely his best day left and treat him accordingly.
He is also very hearing impaired and will not wear the aids. That makes it even harder.
Very shitty disease!
Sounds like my mom. Though she lived alone, I was there for part of the week for 8 years. She would ask me if I ever met her mother (I was 26 when my grandmother died). She would complain about that big boat running at all hours of the night (There was a creek behind the house, but it's about an inch deep).
But the toughest part was that it looked like some crazy person had take over my mom's body. You can't really understand it until you've had to deal with it.
Hang in there. She's gone now, and I miss her.
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