- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
0
Posted on 6/26/24 at 7:17 am to Espritdescorps
Piccolo probably was dealing with a malignant narcissist. The worst of the worst. I wrote earlier that it’s a question of intent. If you have a quiet BPD or histrionic disorder spouse for instance and they can’t regulate their emotions you quickly realize they are suffering far more internally than they are causing you to suffer. So you have compassion for them because to a large extent it is just a subconscious reaction that they aren’t aware of and can’t control. With a narcissist like she describes it is intentional orchestrated malevolence and abuse and that is so much worse. That blurry line where narcissistic and sociopathic behavior merges. It’s quite a thing to realize a spouse would love if you were suffering or dead. Especially after you’ve taken care of them and held their hand and shared everything for years or decades. It’s such a betrayal of the dream and promise of love. A lot of people never recover fully from the experience.
Posted on 6/26/24 at 7:20 am to Lsupimp
I’m determined to recover, but it’s going to take a long time. The intentional, sociopathic cruelty is something I have blocked out but have to go back to and write down anytime I feel weak. And you will feel weak. Trauma bonds are INSANE.
Posted on 6/26/24 at 7:25 am to Hussss
quote:
Have Any of You Married a Cluster B Personality Disorder (Narcissistic, Borderline,etc)?
Like everyone has..dated yes. Lucky I never did fall for marrying one. I will say I lucked out though, thank God, with a mother who taught us that "women be cray cray." She made sure we understood how manipulative women can be so be very careful.
Parents really do need to teach their kids about how to judge people in relationships.
This post was edited on 6/26/24 at 7:26 am
Posted on 6/26/24 at 7:27 am to Tasseo
Interesting you say that. Statistically there are far more male narcissists than female. Don’t demonize one gender, that’s not right and minimizes the experience of those who have endured it on either side.
This post was edited on 6/26/24 at 7:28 am
Posted on 6/26/24 at 7:30 am to tigerbandpiccolo
Took me a year to break the Trauma bond.
For those not familiar with it, the push / pull dynamic gets you addicted through intermittent reinforcement similar to what slot machine addicts feel.
Similar to gambling addicts chasing a jackpot or huge win at the tables, we are chasing that feeling of validation we received in the “love bomb” idealization phase of the relationship and the POTENTIAL we THINK the Cluster B has because we have seen it.
We just never knew it was fake.
Some Cluster B’s know it’s fake and some don’t. All depends on how high they are on the spectrum.
It’s so ironic that my nickname for her was always “Doll.” I never realized how prophetic that name was for her. Most beautiful woman I ever laid eyes on externally but completely empty inside and eyes would go from blue to black when she was in an unregulated emotional state.
Looking back on it, truly demonic. No better word describes it. It was literally like the Devil sent her to strip me of everything I am.
Of course it didn’t work. I’m way too strong for that so she considered me a threat.
Plain and simple looking back.
For those not familiar with it, the push / pull dynamic gets you addicted through intermittent reinforcement similar to what slot machine addicts feel.
Similar to gambling addicts chasing a jackpot or huge win at the tables, we are chasing that feeling of validation we received in the “love bomb” idealization phase of the relationship and the POTENTIAL we THINK the Cluster B has because we have seen it.
We just never knew it was fake.
Some Cluster B’s know it’s fake and some don’t. All depends on how high they are on the spectrum.
It’s so ironic that my nickname for her was always “Doll.” I never realized how prophetic that name was for her. Most beautiful woman I ever laid eyes on externally but completely empty inside and eyes would go from blue to black when she was in an unregulated emotional state.
Looking back on it, truly demonic. No better word describes it. It was literally like the Devil sent her to strip me of everything I am.
Of course it didn’t work. I’m way too strong for that so she considered me a threat.
Plain and simple looking back.
This post was edited on 6/26/24 at 7:36 am
Posted on 6/26/24 at 7:31 am to tigerbandpiccolo
If it helps, the specifics fade. Slowly you forget most of the insane provocations and cruelties. The narcissist will likely move on quickly and begin to destroy someone else and then it will all just be a bad memory. It’s about decompressing over time, you have to give yourself time to sort it out because it can leave you reactive and fearful. There is no way not to internalize all that abuse and you have to give it time to slowly dissipate.
Posted on 6/26/24 at 7:41 am to Hussss
The BLACK EYES!! I have photos of this. It’s scary as hell.
Posted on 6/26/24 at 7:42 am to tigerbandpiccolo
Yes indeed!
It’s literally like they shape shift into a monster!
It’s literally like they shape shift into a monster!
Posted on 6/26/24 at 7:44 am to Hussss
I always knew it was coming. You always knew what went up always came down. There was nothing I ever looked forward to that he didn’t find a way to ruin. Until I stopped looking forward to anything at all.
They are demonic. My faith is as strong as it has ever been, and I say if you’ve experienced that kind of darkness, your arse sprints the other direction. It is truly darkness, demonic, evil. I am so sorry to those who have endured it.
They are demonic. My faith is as strong as it has ever been, and I say if you’ve experienced that kind of darkness, your arse sprints the other direction. It is truly darkness, demonic, evil. I am so sorry to those who have endured it.
Posted on 6/26/24 at 7:49 am to tigerbandpiccolo
Yep! Thanks for sharing!
They literally hate peace, love, joy and happiness.
Mine had a fear of abandonment but isn’t so ironic that the behavior manifests just that for one’s like this?
They are literally cursed for some reason.
If anyone asks when do they get their karma, they get it every single day they wake up with their chaotic minds.
Everything they do is from the mind not the soul because their soul is exactly what is missing and they know it! So they run to dupe someone else.
They literally hate peace, love, joy and happiness.
Mine had a fear of abandonment but isn’t so ironic that the behavior manifests just that for one’s like this?
They are literally cursed for some reason.
If anyone asks when do they get their karma, they get it every single day they wake up with their chaotic minds.
Everything they do is from the mind not the soul because their soul is exactly what is missing and they know it! So they run to dupe someone else.
This post was edited on 6/26/24 at 7:51 am
Posted on 6/26/24 at 7:55 am to tigerbandpiccolo
I know I keep saying it, but the severity of it comes down to the intentionality of it. We all argue and hurt each other because we are flawed. And we are all narcissistic and self interested to a ( normal ) degree. But with guys like this, they actually plan and execute a targeted destruction of every aspect of your life. And there’s nothing you can do about it other than endure it. The intentionality of it, grappling with the evil of it, is why people become despondent, hopeless and suicidal.
Posted on 6/26/24 at 8:01 am to Lsupimp
They are so good at what they do because of their maladaptive coping mechanisms.
Mine had a complete spell on me at one time.
Mine had a complete spell on me at one time.
Posted on 6/26/24 at 8:38 am to Hussss
quote:
Wow!
So sorry you went through all that!
I feel like God sends his believers through these types of relationships so that we may heal OUR childhood wounds (it’s our childhood wounds that allow us to sweep the red flags under the carpet I realize now as well as being vulnerable coming out of a 7 yr relationship) and draw closer to our inner selves and what really matters in the grand scheme of things.
Life is short and is one big learning experience.
Stay strong! You are loved and worthy of love!
THIS!!!!!! After finding God a few years ago, getting baptized and going to church consistently this is all facts. I am so much better now and healed that my quality of life has gotten so much better it is amazing. God is good.
Posted on 6/26/24 at 8:41 am to suavecito80
Praise God!
Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for sharing!
Posted on 6/26/24 at 8:46 am to tigerbandpiccolo
quote:
Interesting you say that. Statistically there are far more male narcissists than female. Don’t demonize one gender, that’s not right and minimizes the experience of those who have endured it on either side.
Never did that. But I'm a male discussing experiences with females in a discussion about male experiences with women. This isn't a thread about our crazy male friends, as yes we all have those.
My example was to show it's important for moms to also teach their sons how to gauge girls, just as important it is for them to teach their daughters the potential danger signs in men. Same as fathers teaching their children properly how to handle both sides of the relationship coin.
I'm sure the statistics aren't skewed at all and dependable. Similar to the ones that show that men are by far the only ones that hit their partners. Not sure about others on here, but I've never once raised a hand to a female in anger, but I'll be damned if I could say the say about that not being done to me. By multiple females. Granted it's easier to nip that behavior in the bud, but doesn't change the fact the women are just as capable as men.
Posted on 6/26/24 at 8:50 am to Hussss
quote:
her having a combination of Narcissistic Personality Disorder along with Borderline Personality Disorder.
Let’s be honest, every woman has this, it’s just a matter of how much.
Posted on 6/26/24 at 9:05 am to Tasseo
This is actually a thread about anyone married to someone with said disorders, don’t get it twisted just because there tends to be more males on a sporting message board.
I agree that it’s important we teach our kids of both genders how to spot this in a potential partner.
Please just be careful in these types of discussions if you’ve not gone through it. The people sharing their experiences are victims and survivors of domestic abuse and that isn’t an exaggeration. A little sensitivity (and I recognize this is the OT so I’m asking for a lot) can go a long way.
ETA: regarding your comment about hitting—be careful not to give into confirmation bias. The same way you say you’ve been hit by women (and obviously never reported it), you can imagine there are A LOT of women who can say the same. A LOT.
I agree that it’s important we teach our kids of both genders how to spot this in a potential partner.
Please just be careful in these types of discussions if you’ve not gone through it. The people sharing their experiences are victims and survivors of domestic abuse and that isn’t an exaggeration. A little sensitivity (and I recognize this is the OT so I’m asking for a lot) can go a long way.
ETA: regarding your comment about hitting—be careful not to give into confirmation bias. The same way you say you’ve been hit by women (and obviously never reported it), you can imagine there are A LOT of women who can say the same. A LOT.
This post was edited on 6/26/24 at 9:08 am
Posted on 6/26/24 at 9:15 am to tigerbandpiccolo
Well said! 
Posted on 6/26/24 at 9:20 am to jcaz
quote:
For the sake of my wife and her siblings I don't acknowledge her comments or actions and she's likely looking for a reaction so ignoring it is just eating her up inside and I love it.
Lmao I love it! And yes it 100% is destroying her inside to not affect you. Keep up the good fight brither
Page 11 of 15
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News