re: Happy Birthday?

I learned about emotional intimacy. How if you're normal, you need it. But few people have it. There's a Rene Brown TED talk in Houston 2010 about vulnerability. And the link between intimacy and vulnerability. It's beautiful. Watch it.

I learned that I am not a bad person. I learned that there is nothing wrong with me. That I'm damaged. But that I am fixable. And that I can be better than I ever believed. I learned that I am worthy of being loved.

I learned that I can stand up for myself. That I am worthy. That I am enough.

I learned that it's OK to ask for what I need. And to require it in some places. And not to be ashamed if I need something.

I learned that I need an intimate partner in life. And that doesn't make me weak or soft. It makes me real. And it's OK.

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Oh, shite. A lot.

Tell me.

quote:

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Tell me.

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I was told that there was something wrong with me.

Then, I was molested. Young.

Then, I was abandoned when my mother moved out to get a Masters. And then for good when she moved to New Orleans. And left me to be raised by two college girls who she let live in our house in exchange for taking care of me. But, of course, they didn't. So I have a huge abandonment schema.

And, my deal with college girls. It is called Eroticized Rage. I am seeking to extract power and revenge over the girls who neglected me and mocked me instead of loved me and cared for me. And my mother for abandoning me. And my father who allowed it all to happen while he played golf and didnt care.

That, is pretty much it. In a paragraph or two.

She won't let me see them alone. She has to be in the room.