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Today in History: May 24

1689 The English Parliament passes the Act of Toleration, protecting Protestants. Roman Catholics are specifically excluded from exemption.

1738 The Methodist Church is established.

1764 Boston lawyer James Otis denounces "taxation without representation," calling for the colonies to unite in opposition to Britain's new tax measures.

1798 Believing that a French invasion of Ireland is imminent, Irish nationalists rise up against the British occupation.

1844 Samuel Morse taps out the first telegraph message.

1861 General Benjamin Butler declares slaves to be the contraband of war.

1878 The first American bicycle race is held in Boston.

1941 The British battleship Hood is sunk by the German battleship Bismarck. There are only three survivors.

1961 Civil rights activists are arrested in Jackson, Mississippi.


Born on May 24

1941 Bob Dylan (Robert Zimmerman), singer and songwriter.


JOTD

A woman was having an affair while her husband was at work. One day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband’s car pull into the driveway.

“Oh My God – Hurry! Grab your clothes,” she yelled to her lover. “And jump out the window. My husband’s home early!”
I can’t jump out the window. It’s raining out there.
If my husband catches us in here, he’ll kill us both, she replied.
So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window.
As he began running down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town’s annual marathon.
Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to “blend in” as best he could.
After a little while, a small group of runners, who had been studying him with some curiosity, jogged closer.
“Do you always run in the nude?” one asked.
“Oh yes” he replied, gasping in air.
Another runner moved alongside. “Do you always run carrying your clothes under your arm?”
“Oh, yes” he answered breathlessly. “That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!”
Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried. “Do you always wear a condom when you run?”
“Only if it’s raining.”