re: Friend committed suicide

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People who haven't had someone close to them kill themselves are the ones who say it's a selfish act. It's a childish mindset to think that way, but it's common in our society.

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You're full of shite. Pompous and have the described mindset to paint with a such a broad brush about people you know nothing about.

*I edited out personal info. Everyone has their own anecdotal stories to tell on this matter.

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capable of rationalizing it is scary. We have no control over our thoughts.

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Here's your issue. You think not having control over one's thoughts and self destruction is rational. Its not. Its what crazy people do.

Sorry for your loss, I had a good friend do the same. After questioning why he did for years I just accepted the fact I will never know what he was going through at the time. I do think about him at times when something happens he would like to see or be involved in, he was a stand up guy.

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Those kids would rather a flawed parent in their life, than what they were left with. Nothing

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But sadly the person committing suicide is too mentally ill to see that.

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Ok, if its not a selfish act, not using "unselfish", what single word term would you use to describe it? I'll even edit my op to that term.

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Mental Illnesses

Two words but oh well, it is what it is.

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People who haven't had someone close to them kill themselves are the ones who say it's a selfish act.

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As someone who has gone this, I want to tell you all that feeling that suicide is a selfish act is a TOTALLY normal and very common initial reaction. Survivors, me included, even feel guilt they felt this way and it takes a lot of research and understanding to move past the anger.

Finding peace with losing a loved one to suicide is a lifetime process of forgiving your loved one's murderer.

At first it makes you feel like they didn't think you were important enough to keep living for, and they only cared about their own problems.

Basically, it's not a selfish act...but it's normal for survivors to feel that way as part of coping. It takes time to understand.

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After questioning why he did for years I just accepted the fact I will never know what he was going through at the time.

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One of the best descriptions of suicidally depressed people I've heard:

Everyone views life through their own lens. Depressed people have crap smeared across their lens, and no matter what they do independently they can't seem to get it off. The only two courses they can choose is to get help with cleaning up the lens or remove the lens.

In other words, they must reach out. And depressed people may view an act of reaching out totally different from everyone else, and this may make them even more depressed when their view of an effort doesn't get results because it is not viewed by non-depressed people as anything worthy of consideration.

I think one of the best things we can offer our family and friends is a clear act of appreciation to say and show them how much they mean to us. Don't assume your friends and family feel appreciated or needed. Also have meaningful discussions regarding their life and future.

Had a roommate in college apartment that committed suicide. He showed no signs of depression or anger to any of us, his family or long term girlfriend. He was actually one of the most happy and upbeat people to the outside world I have ever known. We all took it hard for a while but over time realized there was nothing we could do. Don't beat yourself up man, just remember the good times.

Thanks Blondie. I really appreciate that and hope you are dealing with your experiences in a healthy way too.


Barrister, I'm so, so very sincerely sorry for the loss of your friend. I hope you will read good literature to help you understand.

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Not always. One of my examples was a guy that wanted the high life. Big house, news cars, fancy toys, labels on the clothes, When the well went dry, he didn't want to pay the bills, or live like a poor. Pure selfishness

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So you're saying this person loved material things more so than life? That in it self is insane. He obviously didn't see a way out and was in mental anguish.

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He obviously didn't see a way out and was in mental anguish.

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There was a way out. People do it all the time. File for bankruptcy, work you way out of debt. And live on a tight budget for a while

He wasn't about the work it off part. He wanted others to invest in his plans. When he ran out of investors, he was too proud to work for anybody