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Started By
Message
Friday Joke Thread
Posted on 2/4/22 at 10:29 am
Posted on 2/4/22 at 10:29 am
It is a 5 minute walk from my house to the bar, and it is a 45 minute walk from the bar to my house.
The difference is staggering.
OHHH!
The difference is staggering.
OHHH!
18
Posted on 2/4/22 at 10:41 am to TDTOM
I'm not an alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, but I already have one.
This post was edited on 2/4/22 at 10:43 am
Posted on 2/4/22 at 10:46 am to TDTOM
Dear Abby,
My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.
My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.
Posted on 2/4/22 at 10:47 am to TDTOM
Not a joke, but my buddy told me a story about him driving sleep deprived through TX one night.
He stopped at a diner and told the waitress "I didn't know yall had KANGAROOS here!".
She said "Those aren't kangaroos, they're jackrabbits!"
He stopped at a diner and told the waitress "I didn't know yall had KANGAROOS here!".
She said "Those aren't kangaroos, they're jackrabbits!"
This post was edited on 2/4/22 at 10:48 am
Posted on 2/4/22 at 10:52 am to Cajun367
My addiction to viagra was the hardest time of my life.
Posted on 2/4/22 at 10:54 am to TDTOM
quote:
My addiction to viagra was the hardest time of my life.
Posted on 2/4/22 at 10:54 am to TDTOM
I asked my wife if I'm the only one she's ever been with.
She said yes, all the others were nines and tens.
She said yes, all the others were nines and tens.
Posted on 2/4/22 at 10:58 am to TDTOM
I once read about the evils of drinking so I gave up reading....
Posted on 2/4/22 at 11:00 am to TDTOM
I only drink 2 days a year, when it’s my birthday and when it’s not
Posted on 2/4/22 at 11:02 am to Pepe Lepew
Did you hear about that kidnapping today?
It's ok, he woke up.
It's ok, he woke up.
Posted on 2/4/22 at 11:03 am to Shexter
A bossy man walks in to a bar.
He orders everyone a round.
He orders everyone a round.
Posted on 2/4/22 at 11:09 am to Jor Jor The Dinosaur
Did you know there are more airplanes in the ocean than there are submarines in the air?
Posted on 2/4/22 at 11:09 am to Jor Jor The Dinosaur
A man walks into a bar...
OUCH!
OUCH!
Posted on 2/4/22 at 11:24 am to TDTOM
Posted on 2/4/22 at 11:31 am to TDTOM
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
Posted on 2/4/22 at 11:33 am to TDTOM
What did the fish say to the wall? Dam
Posted on 2/4/22 at 11:33 am to TDTOM
Guys tells shrink, "one minute I feel like I'm a wigwam the next I feel like a tipi"
Shrink says, "you're too tense"
Shrink says, "you're too tense"
Posted on 2/4/22 at 11:42 am to PineyWoodsHog
Guy walks into a bar and orders 2 beers. Bartender asks why 2 at a time? Guys says him and his brother would meet everyday after work and have a beer together, but now they live thousands of miles apart so it’s to still “share” a beer with his brother. Months later the guy comes in and only orders 1 beer. Bartender frantically asks what happened to his brother? Guy says, oh he’s fine, I just quit drinking.
Posted on 2/4/22 at 11:50 am to TDTOM
An old pirate walks into a bar. The bartender notices that the old pirate has a patch over one eye, a hook, and a peg leg. Curious, the bartender says "If you don't mind me asking, what happened to your leg?"
"Arrrr.." says the pirate. "A cannonball took me leg clean off."
The bartender says, "Well, can I ask what happened to your hand?"
"Arrrr...I was in a sword fight, and me hand was chopped clean off!"
The bartender looks at the patch over the pirate's eye. "Let me guess," says the bartender, "a bullet took you eye out!"
"Arrrr, no!" says the pirate. "A seagull pooped in me eye, and I forgot that I had a hook for me hand!"
"Arrrr.." says the pirate. "A cannonball took me leg clean off."
The bartender says, "Well, can I ask what happened to your hand?"
"Arrrr...I was in a sword fight, and me hand was chopped clean off!"
The bartender looks at the patch over the pirate's eye. "Let me guess," says the bartender, "a bullet took you eye out!"
"Arrrr, no!" says the pirate. "A seagull pooped in me eye, and I forgot that I had a hook for me hand!"
Posted on 2/4/22 at 11:52 am to TDTOM
There was this blind man right. He was feelin' his way down the street with this stick. He walked past this fish market
He stopped he took a deep breath and he said: "Woooo, good morning, ladies!"
He stopped he took a deep breath and he said: "Woooo, good morning, ladies!"
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