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Started By
Message
Foulest farts of my life right now
Posted on 12/26/19 at 12:09 am
Posted on 12/26/19 at 12:09 am
Not sure the cause because everyone brought their usual dishes to Christmas lunch today. And I don't feel ill, but these farts smell like I might be.
I dropped one in the bedroom while my wife was in there reading. It lingered for a solid 45 minutes, and she was a real trooper. I have no idea how she stayed in there. I left.
It never really dissipated. It just slowly spread down the hall and into other rooms, making the whole back half of the house smell like a less concentrated but larger version of how it started.
I dusted my 4 year old's bedroom with a nearly silent one. It took him a minute, but finally he said "I smell poo."
I've been sitting here in the office wallowing in more farts for the past hour. I'm tired and I want to go to bed, but the farts show no sign of stopping and it wouldn't be fair to my wife to bring this to the bedroom. They are borderline grounds for divorce.
I didn't have a trashy family story to share with the OT, but I thought I would let you guys know what I'm dealing with anyway.
I dropped one in the bedroom while my wife was in there reading. It lingered for a solid 45 minutes, and she was a real trooper. I have no idea how she stayed in there. I left.
It never really dissipated. It just slowly spread down the hall and into other rooms, making the whole back half of the house smell like a less concentrated but larger version of how it started.
I dusted my 4 year old's bedroom with a nearly silent one. It took him a minute, but finally he said "I smell poo."
I've been sitting here in the office wallowing in more farts for the past hour. I'm tired and I want to go to bed, but the farts show no sign of stopping and it wouldn't be fair to my wife to bring this to the bedroom. They are borderline grounds for divorce.
I didn't have a trashy family story to share with the OT, but I thought I would let you guys know what I'm dealing with anyway.
12
Posted on 12/26/19 at 12:09 am to Korkstand
Aids will give you those.
Posted on 12/26/19 at 12:10 am to Korkstand
Alright
Enough for today
I am going to bed
Enough for today
I am going to bed
Posted on 12/26/19 at 12:11 am to Korkstand
You have to relish moments like this. They don't come often.
Posted on 12/26/19 at 12:12 am to Korkstand
If you pass terrible gas in front of other people you are trash.
Posted on 12/26/19 at 12:13 am to Byrdybyrd05
quote:No I checked
Sounds like you sharted
Posted on 12/26/19 at 12:14 am to Korkstand
quote:
It took him a minute, but finally he said "I smell poo."
Posted on 12/26/19 at 12:14 am to Korkstand
I had oysters,deviled eggs, fried cabbage
Posted on 12/26/19 at 12:16 am to FightingTigers138
quote:It's my family. What am I supposed to do, go fart in the bathroom like a bitch?
If you pass terrible gas in front of other people you are trash.
Besides, there is no hiding these anyway.
Posted on 12/26/19 at 12:17 am to FightingTigers138
quote:
If you pass terrible gas in front of other people you are trash
With all due respect, it sounds like they are family. Fair game.
Posted on 12/26/19 at 12:19 am to BayouRat15
quote:If I had eaten all that, then I wouldn't be surprised about what's happening right now.
I had oysters,deviled eggs, fried cabbage
But I had rice dressing, turkey, ham, macncheese, cornbread dressing. Same shite I eat every holiday, but something has gone wrong this time.
Posted on 12/26/19 at 12:20 am to Korkstand
You could try some gas-x or something. Your family will appreciate it. However, tonight you should probably dutch over your wife. Opportunities like this don't come along every day.
Posted on 12/26/19 at 12:24 am to tigerzballzdeep
quote:
With all due respect, it sounds like they are family
I don't understand. I hold my family in higher regard than anyone. They are a treasure. If i was to pass wind on a person it wouldn't be my family.
Posted on 12/26/19 at 12:25 am to Korkstand
quote:
macncheese
I would start my investigation with this one. Mac n cheese can wreck a digestive system.
Posted on 12/26/19 at 12:34 am to redstick13
quote:I guess it's possible, but I eat this same macncheese all the time. It's not easy mac, it's some homemade velveeta gourmet shite.
I would start my investigation with this one. Mac n cheese can wreck a digestive system.
Still have the new year coming up, which means I'll have access to most of these same dishes again. I think clearly the best way to test is not to eliminate the macncheese, but to instead go way overboard with it.
Posted on 12/26/19 at 12:36 am to Korkstand
I cooked a pork loin today..I stuffed it with garlic..a lot of garlic. I will be sleeping on the couch tonight.
This post was edited on 12/26/19 at 12:40 am
Posted on 12/26/19 at 12:40 am to Korkstand
It’s your subconscious trying to assert your dominance as man of the house.
Posted on 12/26/19 at 12:57 am to FightingTigers138
quote:
If you pass terrible gas in front of other people you are trash.
There is nothing better than a perfectly timed silent crop-dusting to a deserving target!
Posted on 12/26/19 at 1:01 am to Korkstand
The New Year’s Day farts are the worst. Cabbage coupled with New Year’s Eve drinking, peels paint off the walls.
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