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re: For married OTers, could you handle your spouse having an emotional affair/connection?

Posted on 3/30/24 at 3:14 pm to
Posted by soccerfüt
Location: A Series of Tubes
Member since May 2013
74850 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 3:14 pm to
quote:

What about her mawmaw?
Depends

Literally, if she wears them, that’s a negative.
This post was edited on 3/30/24 at 3:15 pm
Posted by ronricks
Member since Mar 2021
12190 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 3:39 pm to
quote:

I, for one, enjoy knowing that my wife is confiding in and forming friendships with other men.



You think everyone wants to sleep with your wife?

Posted by Havoc
Member since Nov 2015
39261 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 3:41 pm to
Handle it with a fricking chainsaw.
Posted by ronricks
Member since Mar 2021
12190 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 3:42 pm to
quote:

If you add common interests and time to talk about them, they make an even deeper connection.


Do you keep your wife locked in the house or something? Not allow her to talk to anyone of opposite sex that she has common interests with? Again, this is insecurity on the highest level of the scale.
Posted by Oates Mustache
Member since Oct 2011
26630 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 3:46 pm to
quote:

You think everyone wants to sleep with your wife?


I've seen studies that show men think about sex between 20-300 times a day, we're biologically hard wired to do it. Chances are, if his wife is remotely attractive, the answer is yes. These threads are always hilariously naive. Why do you think the divorce rate is so high and cheating is at an all time high?

Posted by ronricks
Member since Mar 2021
12190 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 3:50 pm to
quote:

Why do you think the divorce rate is so high and cheating is at an all time high?


Because of things like social media not because your wife and her male co worker or male neighbor both like LSU football or gardening

How insecure are you people? Ask any divorce attorney they will tell you social media has been a godsend for their business and winning huge settlements in cases.
Posted by DeshaHog
Member since Mar 2016
625 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 3:50 pm to
quote:

People that say they can be friends with the opposite sex without the sex part just haven't had the opportunity present itself to act on it. There are posters here that will say they are friends with someone of the opposite sex. Well those friends are gay, or not attractive.


My man this is actually wild. You can acknowledge that a member of the opposite sex is attractive or whatever without actually making an attempt to have sex with them. Not having friends of the opposite sex because you’re married is insane. It’s insane to the point where I think I may have gotten very effectively trolled.
Posted by CHGAR
Haile, LA
Member since Aug 2022
1256 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 4:04 pm to
Wouldn't bother me, I don't have an emotional connection with my wife anymore.
Posted by Dadren
Jawja
Member since Dec 2023
3257 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 4:10 pm to
quote:

You think everyone wants to sleep with your wife?


Where did I mention sex?

I’m not OK with her having close friendships with other men. What would that even look like? They go out to lunch together alone? They text each other little inside jokes throughout the day? When she has a rough day she’s talking to him about it?

If that works for you in yours then that’s cool, but frankly your posts sound like they have some cope in them.
Posted by Dadren
Jawja
Member since Dec 2023
3257 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 4:12 pm to
quote:

Because of things like social media not because your wife and her male co worker or male neighbor both like LSU football or gardening


Well now you’re crawfishing.

We’re talking about friends. Not coworkers and neighbors.

Where do friends keep up with each other?
Posted by ronricks
Member since Mar 2021
12190 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 4:18 pm to
Neighbors are friends. I don’t know about you but I didn’t meet my friends on social media, chat apps, or dating apps. Those are things people use to cheat. Ask any divorce attorney. The idea that your wife can’t simply be friends with someone sounds like there are some underlying issues/problems there and again reeks of absolute small dick insecurity. How do you leave the house?
Posted by ronricks
Member since Mar 2021
12190 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 4:21 pm to
quote:

If that works for you in yours then that’s cool, but frankly your posts sound like they have some cope in them.


I’m not the one that won’t let my significant other speak to other people like normal human beings do

Posted by Rick9Plus
Baton Rouge
Member since Jul 2020
2500 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 4:22 pm to
quote:

I’m not OK with her having close friendships with other men. What would that even look like? They go out to lunch together alone? They text each other little inside jokes throughout the day? When she has a rough day she’s talking to him about it?


Yeah, it’s one thing to be friendly at work or at the running club or whatever, but when you start making plans together without your spouses or talking on the phone just to talk, or texting little jokes or “thinking of you” stuff, that’s a relationship.
Posted by Dadren
Jawja
Member since Dec 2023
3257 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 4:24 pm to
quote:

I’m not the one that won’t let my significant other speak to other people like normal human beings do

Your reading comprehension is about as bad as your relationship advice.
Posted by ronricks
Member since Mar 2021
12190 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 4:27 pm to
quote:

Your reading comprehension is about as bad as your relationship advice.


Don’t try and project your insecurities on me. I have no issues with this kind of stuff. Seems like you do which is a you problem. Might want to start analyzing your lifestyle and health etc.
Posted by ronricks
Member since Mar 2021
12190 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 4:28 pm to
quote:

or texting little jokes or “thinking of you” stuff


People who are friends don’t do this. You know who does do this? People who have a bunch of social media and chat apps on their phones that they probably shouldn’t have if in a relationship.
Posted by Oates Mustache
Member since Oct 2011
26630 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 5:27 pm to
quote:

Do you keep your wife locked in the house or something? Not allow her to talk to anyone of opposite sex that she has common interests with? Again, this is insecurity on the highest level of the scale.


No, not at all. But I do pay attention to who she befriends. You post like a guy, so I'm going to assume you're a guy. Do you even read a single Jody thread on the OT?

Lots of single guys actively search for married women to predate. This day and age presents a new challenge here that I agree with you about, social media. It's so easy for a guy looking to bang a chick to hit them up on Facebook, instagram, etc. You just need a few tidbits of info to slide into their DM's. They don't even have to offer it up.

There are lots of guys out there that want these trophies for their frick shelf. It's like a game.

And yeah, trust is critical, but you add girl's nights, Bachelorette parties, etc. and now you've also removed inhibitions.

So it's not far fetched to think guys befriend an attractive women, waiting on the opportunity to jump into bed. They bide their time, only being a "friend", actively promoting themselves to the woman. "You like running, so do I! You like Downton Abby, me too! How crazy is it that we have similar interests!"

You're a guy, you know this is true. It's not that I don't trust my SO, I don't trust those smooth talking dicks trying to get a trophy frick.

You just have to be proactive and pay attention to who your SO is friends with.
Posted by lsurulz1515
Member since Mar 2007
8256 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 5:34 pm to
Nope. I work my arse off too much emotionally, financially, physically, and mentally to be okay with her allowing herself to have an emotional affair with another dude.

If she wants to go that route, I'll happily help her pack her bags
Posted by Oates Mustache
Member since Oct 2011
26630 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 5:43 pm to
For my down voters, I have a few simple questions:

1. Would you be ok with your wife being friends with a straight guy that she shares a few interests in, like running, hiking, TV shows, books, etc?

2. Would you be ok with her hanging out with this friend, without you being there? Why not if she's just friends with him?

3. What about a co-ed friend's trip where he was there, and you weren't? Not just them by themselves, but a group of let's say 6 or more friends?

These are all innocent since they're just friends with shared interests, right?

What if the dude was a 7 or more on the OT scale? Would that matter?

I can't wait to hear these honest answers.
This post was edited on 3/30/24 at 5:51 pm
Posted by Misnomer
Member since Apr 2020
3737 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 5:56 pm to
I would be totally devastated if I uncovered a flirtatious friendship my spouse was having. There have been opportunities during our marriage to form closer friendships with guys he doesn't know, and I keep a respectful distance and just don't. I would expect the same of him.

Just thinking about this sh*t makes me mad I would do everything I could to forgive him, but I would need counseling to avoid trying to get revenge somehow.
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