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re: Favorite grandpa story, comedy only

Posted on 5/17/23 at 12:43 pm to
Posted by Norbert
Member since Oct 2018
3576 posts
Posted on 5/17/23 at 12:43 pm to
Oddly enough, my first time at Hooters was with my grandparents when I was 10 or 11 years old. I don’t remember the circumstances. Maybe there weren’t a lot of restaurants around that area of town, and we were all really hungry.

I remember after the gifted young waitress had bent over to serve my grandpa his food, he turned to me as she walked away and said with a wink, “I think I’m going to order something else after this.”

I laughed, and my grandma slapped his arm.
Posted by belowmebama
Member since Jul 2008
7345 posts
Posted on 5/17/23 at 12:44 pm to
I overheard two grandpas at the urinal while I walked into the available stall. In the middle of them talking and peeing one let out a loud fart. The other one said “Oh come on man! You’re embarrassing.” The other said “There can be no rain without thunder.”

That sticks with me to this day.
Posted by WhiskeyThrottle
Weatherford Tx
Member since Nov 2017
6945 posts
Posted on 5/17/23 at 12:49 pm to
After my grandma passed away, my grandpa started dating again. He was driving the new chick around and said he was dying trying to hold in a fart. Didn't want to scare off the new girl. Pulled into the grocery store parking lot and rushed out of the suburban and busted arse right outside his door, only to look down and see a woman in her car gagging because he crop dusted the entirety of her vehicle. Me and my mom still laugh pretty good when that story comes up.
Posted by Loup
Ferriday
Member since Apr 2019
15676 posts
Posted on 5/17/23 at 1:00 pm to
quote:

Then, he told me to give him my shirt so he could wipe his arse!


what a boss move. legit chuckled at this.
This post was edited on 5/17/23 at 1:01 pm
Posted by Bronson2017
Birmingham
Member since Feb 2019
2196 posts
Posted on 5/17/23 at 1:05 pm to
I was fortunate enough to have a great-grandad when I was younger on my dad's side. He took me out to ride the horses when I was around 5. They had a donkey that was always acting up. I was sitting against fence while waiting on him to saddle the horse for me, the donkey reached over fence and bit my shoulder, hard.

Great Grandaddy calmly stopped what he was doing, interlocked his fingers into a big fist, raised above his head and came down on top of that donkeys nose. I will never forget the sound that things teeth made smacking together. Donkey was sneezing for a while after that
Posted by MsandLa
in the L.P.
Member since Jan 2009
7402 posts
Posted on 5/17/23 at 1:09 pm to
Grandpa once told me back in his day "I think I fricked everything with hair on it in Clark County Arkansas "

I really think he might of
Posted by JackieTreehorn
Member since Sep 2013
34942 posts
Posted on 5/17/23 at 1:10 pm to
Back in the early 90’s after that Lorena Bobbitt incident my Grandad took me fishing and we always listened to AM news radio on the way to the pond. The story came on about the Bobbitt incident and after it was over my Grandad turned to me and said “don’t you worry, ain’t no bitch ever cutting my buddys weiner off.” My friends and I still laugh about that line to this day.
Posted by Supermoto Tiger
Baton Rouge
Member since Dec 2010
10482 posts
Posted on 5/17/23 at 1:55 pm to
quote:

Grandpa said "Bill you don't get to talk about football as long as my goofy arse granddaughter makes you sit down to pee." Everyone in the house laughed, Bill included.


My grandpaw once said, he had to sit down to pee.

Confussed, I asked why??

Grandpaw replied, "Dr. told me not to lift anything heavy"
Posted by maisweh
Member since Jan 2014
4222 posts
Posted on 5/17/23 at 2:05 pm to
My grandpaw made me jump out of the boat when I was 8 to grab a calcutta I threw out when he was teaching me to cast a baitcaster because "open faced rods are for women and children"
Posted by klrstix
Shreveport, LA
Member since Oct 2006
3505 posts
Posted on 5/17/23 at 2:34 pm to
quote:

His work ethic was unmatched driven by growing up so poor.


I would like to suggest with this work ethic he grew up rich!


Posted by Hangover Haven
Metry
Member since Oct 2013
32024 posts
Posted on 5/17/23 at 3:03 pm to
quote:

My grandpaw made me jump out of the boat when I was 8 to grab a calcutta I threw out when he was teaching me to cast a baitcaster


I would've had your arse swimming for it as well...

On that note, there's a brand new Curado sitting in about 30' of water at the bottom of Lake Fork I kicked over, tried to brab it, and I watched it slowly dropped to the bottom.
This post was edited on 5/17/23 at 3:04 pm
Posted by Bigfishchoupique
Member since Jul 2017
9472 posts
Posted on 5/17/23 at 3:04 pm to
My PawPaw told me one day that some geese flew right past him while he was working on his chimney. 30 feet n the air. 78 years old.

I asked if they were in range. Meaning could he have shot them ? He was a crack shot. He replied that no it wasn’t raining.

Repeated my question. No they weren’t cranes.

Asked him again. He picked up on “ could you have shot them ? “. He laughed and said no “ I couldn’t have shot them , I didn’t have my gun while on the ladder. Next time I’ll be ready “.

I miss my PawPaw so much. I’m crying.


Shite,it’s only been 45 years since he died.
This post was edited on 5/17/23 at 3:11 pm
Posted by TexasTiger89
Houston, TX
Member since Feb 2005
26424 posts
Posted on 5/17/23 at 3:10 pm to
quote:

Grandpaw replied, "Dr. told me not to lift anything heavy"



Grandpaw Jokes>>>>>>>Dad Jokes
Posted by Cleathecat
Houston
Member since Feb 2021
1554 posts
Posted on 5/17/23 at 3:11 pm to
Both mine died when I was very young, I'm jealous of these stories.
Posted by aremore
Prairieville
Member since Sep 2009
1252 posts
Posted on 5/17/23 at 3:30 pm to
When I was 5 or 6 years old, we were visiting my grandparents in Clinton. It happened to be my Paw Paw’s 60th birthday this particular Saturday. One of my aunts thought it would be funny to put 60 candles on his birthday cake. Well, it took a bit of doing but she and my grandmother finally got all the candles going and called my grandfather into the kitchen so we could all sing happy birthday. My Paw Paw always wore a hat back then, as did a lot of older men back in the early 1960’s. When it came time to blow out the candles he just took his hat, which he was holding behind his back, and quickly fanned it across the cake and in one swoosh put out every single candle. He told us you don’t live 60 years without learning a little something. By the way, my Paw Paw was the greatest. I never saw him get mad at anyone or anything. He looked for the best in everyone and took life as it came, never complaining. Even when he was dying of emphysema, you’d visit him in the hospital and he always had a big smile, even though he was struggling to breathe.
Posted by tigergirl10
Member since Jul 2019
10679 posts
Posted on 5/17/23 at 3:45 pm to
quote:

my cousin made her new husband Bill sit down to pee
WTF? How does an adult make another adult do something like this?
Posted by lsuson
Metairie
Member since Oct 2013
15018 posts
Posted on 5/17/23 at 3:56 pm to
My grandpa was well loved and would do anything for anyone. He grew up during the depression and knew hard times. When he was 16 he would test run Higgins boats in bayou St. John. Lied about his age and got drafted at 17 and fought in WW2. Anyway he was a character. Around NYE one year when I was 6-7 he filled up a big garbage bag with helium I think and another gas. Had a string hanging from it and waited till the bag got 30’ up and lit the string that was doused in gas. All of a sudden there was as a huge boom. Cops showed up shortly after. We were inside dying laughing and my grandpa said to the cops I heard something blow up down the street. Cops just left and my grandpa winked at us.
Grandpa wasn’t much of a drinker. One thanksgiving he had a little too much white wine. He was sitting in a chair in the living room and just fell over cutting his eye needing stitches. He gets up embarrassed and says I’m alright! Just a paper cut lol. He and my grandma were married for 64 years and he loved her more than anything. Man I miss him so much.
Posted by unclejhim
Folsom, La.
Member since Nov 2011
3703 posts
Posted on 5/17/23 at 4:08 pm to
quote:

Oh shite, I've really fricked up now"


I burst out laughing at that.
Posted by Basura Blanco
Member since Dec 2011
11409 posts
Posted on 5/17/23 at 4:26 pm to
My brother and I were like 7 and 9 and we were fascinated by motor homes at the time. We were in my paw-paws truck at a stop light when a motor home drove by with a shite ton of lights and reflectors on the sides. I screamed out LOOK A WINNEBAGO!! My paw-paw glanced over and said looks like a Winne-DAGO to me.

That was almost 50 years ago. My brother and I still lose our shite if one of us says "looks like a winne-DAGO to me".
Posted by jflsufan
Baton Rouge, LA
Member since Mar 2013
5004 posts
Posted on 5/17/23 at 4:26 pm to
My Grandpa told me that as a teenager during the depression the girls would give blow jobs to completion just to get something warm in their belly.
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