re: Do you truly ever get over someone?

I grew up in an abusive home. Never dated in high school. Met my first girlfriend during freshman year at university. Dated for 2.5 years and then she broke it off during final exams. Ouch !!!

Ivana and I have remained great friends for 36 years. She broke my heart in college and it hurt when she got married to a man 16 years her senior.

I was depressed for several years but here is why. I had an unhealthy attachment to Ivana. She was six years older and I was very insecure. I was also the jealous type that wanted her to spend her college weekends with me. I feared losing her and in my he end I did.

I had to realize my faults and accept that I wasn’t ready for a commitment after college. I acted too needy and was using my girlfriend as a mother type figure. As I matured, I accepted that the timing wasn’t there and that God had different paths for us to take.
Once, I realized that, the attachments disappeared. I was free from the obsessive clinging.

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Do you truly ever get over someone?

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Move on, don’t look back.

See, two shots is too much. That amount of alcohol will help you fall asleep, but then wake you back up couple hours later and keep you up. The capful doesn’t get you drunk or make you pee, it only relaxes you ever so little, but enough.

Try half first, and see what happens.

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sta4ever

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This is coming from experience but everyone's situation is different.

This is going to suck. There's no secret sauce to getting through it easily. Using alcohol or any other substance is a poorly executed band-aid that doesn't treat the actual cause.

I see in your other posts that you might've accepted your fault in why the relationship didn't work out. This is important. The longer you defer blame, the longer it takes.

Get some healthy habits going. I used the 24/7 gym as an escape. One time I went to the gym at 11 PM and ran on the treadmill to release some of that energy and work through some thoughts. Have something that you can turn to that won't make the situation worse in the long run.

Do you have any close friends that you can trust and confide in? I had to apologize often to my best friend when I would just dump all of my shite on him. He talked me down from a lot of ledges that I'm not sure I'd have been able to get down from on my own.

Get a therapist. You don't have to tell anyone that you are doing it, and now you can even do it online. Your friends and family are great but someone who has the knowledge and is not biased will do more for you in the long run and your future relationships than you can imagine. This was the single biggest thing for me.

Last of all, you have to concentrate on you. My life turned around as soon as I became happy with myself. Don't chase a relationship until you're able to understand how you can be happy with just being you and how you need to change. Get out there and meet people and set goals for yourself.

I don't know you but if you need someone to talk to, even anonymously, let me know. You aren't alone and you aren't the first or last person that this happens too.

For males it depends whether not one is a vagina boy or not. 20+ years ago I was dating a really hot blonde who loved to cook and as long as I allowed her to get hers in the first 2 minutes of sex, anything I wanted was game the rest of the night all night long. HOWEVER, she wanted be to get dunked in her church which I wouldn't do.

Not getting dunked to suit her whim was worth her dumping me.

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Anyone here ever had a hard time getting over someone? Drive in life and everything is fine, it’s just the drive to find someone is just not there. Asking for a friend.

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I was married for 26 years. I was over her in 26 minutes. Breaking up with a girlfriend I idealized? Crushing.

Oneitis is a killer. Don't go there. It makes you weak.

I think you move on and retain the brutal lesson and thank yourself for whatever qualities that they had that made you love them. I try to honor all past relationships and remember that the constant in all of them was ME. They complimented my life and I remain grateful and wish them the best. These people are essential to whatever path we choose and we miss them (or don't) and we move on to the next chapter. It will happen for you again, hopefully better.

(no message)

Depends apply little more throttle

There is one vagina I experienced 36 years ago that I still think about regularly. Not the person, just the vagina. Mind blowing.