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Started By
Message
re: Divorced dads of OT
Posted on 11/13/18 at 3:23 pm to Geauxboy
Posted on 11/13/18 at 3:23 pm to Geauxboy
It sucks for sure. First of all the kid(s) are the ones that suffer in this deal no two ways about it. Do the best you can for them. If you don't get custody then make sure you get every second of visitation time you can get.
As someone else said, your ex is not your friend. She may be 20 years down the road but right now NO! If you can be cordial or at least tolerant when dealing with her especially around the kids that would be good. Don't talk about her, what is going on, or say anything bad about her. Again it is between you and the soon to be ex, not the kids. They'll see in the end.
Good Attorneys aren't cheap, trust me I know, but it's better to pay more in the beginning than wish you had down the road.
Also, don't bring any women around your kids, they don't need that right now. You will have plenty of time to date when the kids aren't with you.
Best of luck, I've been divorced from my son's mom for going on 5 years now. It sucks, but life is so much better now (Minus not seeing my son every day)
You don't realize the relationship is dysfunctional until it ends and you look back.
As someone else said, your ex is not your friend. She may be 20 years down the road but right now NO! If you can be cordial or at least tolerant when dealing with her especially around the kids that would be good. Don't talk about her, what is going on, or say anything bad about her. Again it is between you and the soon to be ex, not the kids. They'll see in the end.
Good Attorneys aren't cheap, trust me I know, but it's better to pay more in the beginning than wish you had down the road.
Also, don't bring any women around your kids, they don't need that right now. You will have plenty of time to date when the kids aren't with you.
Best of luck, I've been divorced from my son's mom for going on 5 years now. It sucks, but life is so much better now (Minus not seeing my son every day)
You don't realize the relationship is dysfunctional until it ends and you look back.
0
Posted on 11/13/18 at 3:23 pm to mrfantasy
quote:
Any advice for preparing for an impending separation/ divorce? TIA
Be prepared for:
1. The kids school to ALWAYS contact your ex-wife first
2. The school to assume you're still married
3. The ex wife to say vile things about you to your kids and overshare with them
4. The ex to try to become "best friends" instead of a mother to your child
5. For your ex to say the kid can't get something at her house because "your dad doesn't pay enough"
6. The ex to take the side of the child against the word of teachers and you
7. To be taken to court the MOMENT you breach even the most minute clause in your separation agreement yet she introduces your child to every new "friend" she meets
Things I would do differently if I had to negotiate the separation agreement again
1. keep the 50% custody we already have but declare myself the domiciliary parent
2. discard the "no other adult can sleep at the house while the kids are there" rule. it sounds great in theory but when you get a serious GF, it can really suck arse. Build some sort of verbage that allows for long term relationships to stay overnight
3. Have the child stay at my home during the school week, every week
This post was edited on 11/13/18 at 3:55 pm
Posted on 11/13/18 at 3:26 pm to little billy
quote:
I've been divorced 3 times
Sounds like story time.
*popcorn*
Posted on 11/13/18 at 3:26 pm to mrfantasy
It will be tough for awhile( stay away from those tearful country radio stations) but she will find her a new baw ... and after a couple months you can sit back because that poor SOB is catching the same shite that you did... also lots of cocaine and whores
Posted on 11/13/18 at 3:27 pm to Tigeralum2008
quote:I agree with everything except this. Kids don't need to see your new girl bopping out of the bedroom on Sunday mornings.....
2. discard the "no other adult can sleep at the house while the kids are there" rule. it sounds great in theory but when you get a serious GF, it can really suck arse
My ex stays at her boyfriends house WITH my son every day, anytime I try to take her to court for it she just moves back into her grandma's house and I've got nothing.
Posted on 11/13/18 at 3:29 pm to mrfantasy
quote:
Any advice for preparing for an impending separation/ divorce? TIA
If you really are getting divorced and doing this
then I feel bad for your kids.Posted on 11/13/18 at 3:34 pm to CHSTigersFan
quote:
I agree with everything except this. Kids don't need to see your new girl bopping out of the bedroom on Sunday mornings.....
I'd impose some sort of rule that the ex would notify me she is dating someone new. After a period of 6 months, that person should be able to spend the night.
When you have your kid for 7 days on/7 days off...the rule can really suck especially when you've been dating for a year or more
Posted on 11/13/18 at 3:34 pm to shiftworker
quote:
Sounds like story time.
*popcorn*
my life is a series of train wrecks. e.g. marriages 2 & 3 were both in Las Vegas. the 3rd one it was just me and her at the chapel. shockingly that one only lasted 6 months.
Posted on 11/13/18 at 3:38 pm to mrfantasy
I'm not divorced but know people who are. Don't fall for the first easy piece that comes your way. She is not the one. Bag it up or pull out.
Posted on 11/13/18 at 3:39 pm to bamarep
quote:
In all seriousness, the best advice I can give you is to NEVER forget that woman you once loved is now the biggest enemy you'll ever have. To put it simple, you're in a business negotiation with a rival business than would like nothing better than to see you go out of business and it be her that put you out of business. It's all out war, give no quarter and expect none because you're not going to get it. Also, NEVER demonize her in front of the children. If she's a bitch they'll figure it out. Learned every bit of that from getting my arse skint up worse than a crotch rocket crash on I10 with nothing by jorts and a wife beater on. Prayers sent baw.
Posted on 11/13/18 at 3:41 pm to mrfantasy
1. Prepare for your credit score to take a hit (been 4 years, and it's still hard for me to get a decent loan)
2. Don't fall for those lonely feelings (they'll make you think you have stronger feelings for someone than you actually do)
3. Be prepared for your ex to talk mad shite about you to your kids
4. When you do finally move on, be prepared for your new lady to get on your nerves being jealous of your ex (even though you can't stand your ex,and wish you didn't have to interact with her at all)
Welcome to the club
2. Don't fall for those lonely feelings (they'll make you think you have stronger feelings for someone than you actually do)
3. Be prepared for your ex to talk mad shite about you to your kids
4. When you do finally move on, be prepared for your new lady to get on your nerves being jealous of your ex (even though you can't stand your ex,and wish you didn't have to interact with her at all)
Welcome to the club
Posted on 11/13/18 at 3:42 pm to Tigertown in ATL
quote:
If you really are getting divorced and doing this then I feel bad for your kids.
the dance was for when i PIIHB
Posted on 11/13/18 at 3:42 pm to GetCocky11
quote:Not completely a myth but it doesn't help the situation, speaking from experience.
Should we continue with the myths? Or, can we be honest about the realities of divorced dads?
Posted on 11/13/18 at 3:43 pm to jvilletiger25
quote:
4. When you do finally move on, be prepared for your new lady to get on your nerves being jealous of your ex (even though you can't stand your ex,and wish you didn't have to interact with her at all)
Posted on 11/13/18 at 3:44 pm to bamarep
quote:
Learned every bit of that from getting my arse skint up worse than a crotch rocket crash on I10 with nothing by jorts and a wife beater on.
Posted on 11/13/18 at 3:45 pm to Tigeralum2008
quote:I won't ever have to worry about this as all the little füts are now to the age of majority in an intact nuclear family but I would be goddamned if I would have allowed some other man to sleep in the same house as my kids.
2. discard the "no other adult can sleep at the house while the kids are there" rule. it sounds great in theory but when you get a serious GF, it can really suck arse
There's simply too much Arkansas in this world.
Posted on 11/13/18 at 3:46 pm to little billy
quote:
my life is a series of train wrecks. e.g. marriages 2 & 3 were both in Las Vegas. the 3rd one it was just me and her at the chapel. shockingly that one only lasted 6 months.
I got married in Vegas but to a long term girlfriend. We just didn't feel like paying for wedding. We've been married for 13 years.
My SIL has been married 7 times
Posted on 11/13/18 at 3:47 pm to mrfantasy
If you have young kids, make sure to get lots of custody time
Bitches love single dads
Bitches love single dads
Posted on 11/13/18 at 3:49 pm to Thib-a-doe Tiger
They say they love single dads...until you want to get serious...
Posted on 11/13/18 at 3:50 pm to fallguy_1978
quote:
My SIL has been married 7 times
Dude..
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