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Posted on 7/23/15 at 1:57 am to White Roach
Growing up, when I was eating too much pizza or anything loaded with cheese, my dad ALWAYS said this:
"You keep eatin' that shite and you're gonna get plugged up. Do you know what the indians used to call that? Chokembutt."
Me - SMH
Dad: "The chinese call it hung chow."
"You keep eatin' that shite and you're gonna get plugged up. Do you know what the indians used to call that? Chokembutt."
Me - SMH
Dad: "The chinese call it hung chow."
Posted on 7/23/15 at 2:02 am to fr33manator
quote:
"Never trust a chicken with two weasels."
wut? Dont get that one.
Posted on 7/23/15 at 2:13 am to BOSCEAUX
"Looking like that, son, you couldn't get laid in a nickel whorehouse with a fistful of quarters."
"If you're so smart, why aren't you rich?"
"Don't get mad at your money. Get mad at yourself."
"If your sex life is like your golf game, you couldn't hit the g-spot on a ten pound pussy."
"One day, son, you'll have a coyote frick."
Me: "What the hell is that?"
"You'll wake up and would rather chew your arm off than wake her up."
"If you're so smart, why aren't you rich?"
"Don't get mad at your money. Get mad at yourself."
"If your sex life is like your golf game, you couldn't hit the g-spot on a ten pound pussy."
"One day, son, you'll have a coyote frick."
Me: "What the hell is that?"
"You'll wake up and would rather chew your arm off than wake her up."
This post was edited on 7/23/15 at 2:19 am
Posted on 7/23/15 at 2:15 am to HempHead
Everything I listened to was "narcotic music".
Posted on 7/23/15 at 8:03 am to BOSCEAUX
"If wishes were fishes we'd all have a fry"
Posted on 7/23/15 at 8:26 am to BOSCEAUX
Rich as 9 foot up a bull's arse.
You need me to put some hair around that hole?
hard as woodpecker lips
You need me to put some hair around that hole?
hard as woodpecker lips
Posted on 7/23/15 at 8:33 am to BOSCEAUX
"Like a sore dick, ya just can't beat it."
Posted on 7/23/15 at 8:35 am to TigerFanInSouthland
You'd bitch if you were hung with a new rope.
I might have been born in the morning, but I wasn't born this morning.
I didn't just fall off the turnip truck.
I might have been born in the morning, but I wasn't born this morning.
I didn't just fall off the turnip truck.
Posted on 7/23/15 at 8:41 am to RoyalBaby
When we were kids - "What's for dinner?"
Dad - "Turkey turds and rainwater"
Dad - "Turkey turds and rainwater"
This post was edited on 7/23/15 at 8:42 am
Posted on 7/23/15 at 8:55 am to Pavoloco83
quote:
"Never trust a chicken with two weasels."
wut? Dont get that one.
Never heard it either. I assumed it meant the chicken had to make some underhanded deal to keep the weasels from eating him, so you can't trust him. So, don't trust someone who seems to be friends with bad people?
This post was edited on 7/23/15 at 8:59 am
Posted on 7/23/15 at 12:00 pm to BOSCEAUX
Said to any one about to do something stupid (Taken from Smokey and the Bandit) - "You can think about it, but don't do it"
Said about work stress - "Just play duck, calm on the surface,feet moving 100 miles a min. under the water"
Said about a bad golf shot - "Hike up your skirt, Alice."
Said to anyone who couldn't fix something on their own (very sarcastically)- "Do you need Daddy to come and fix that for you?"
"Cajuns don't need a reason to drink and eat crawfish, They'll do it just cuz it's Tuesday"
Said about work stress - "Just play duck, calm on the surface,feet moving 100 miles a min. under the water"
Said about a bad golf shot - "Hike up your skirt, Alice."
Said to anyone who couldn't fix something on their own (very sarcastically)- "Do you need Daddy to come and fix that for you?"
"Cajuns don't need a reason to drink and eat crawfish, They'll do it just cuz it's Tuesday"
Posted on 7/23/15 at 12:26 pm to BOSCEAUX
When going on road trips he would tell us that we better use the bathroom before we hit the road.
If we didn't he had rubber bands for the boys and corks for the girls.
If we didn't he had rubber bands for the boys and corks for the girls.
Posted on 7/23/15 at 12:29 pm to BOSCEAUX
My dad used to tell me about the first rule of holes. When you're in one, stop digging.
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