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Message
re: Craziest hook up stories
Posted on 9/5/17 at 8:58 am to mikelbr
Posted on 9/5/17 at 8:58 am to mikelbr
quote:
Well get on adult friend finder and CL(Mw4m in search). But... You will need a big ole dick and pics to prove it to get legit bites there. They do exist. Just not for likes of me.
Clubs like Collette in Nola will allow single men for a much higher cover. Like $100 on a Saturday night. However. A buddy of mine had a membership back in 2006-7 for like $1500/yr or so. And he cleaned house with couples on the reg and he was nothing special at all. He just dgaf and had fun with just booze. He didn't even have to give away drugs or have a big dick or be rich.
Colette is pretty good. Hooked up with a fwb in one of the private rooms. It can be tough for a single guy so it is best to get in with a couple or woman. The exception if if you are very fit and good looking, black, or bi. That goes for any of the sites as well. You can pull a lot of arse that way. I don't fit into either of those categories but can do well especially when I go back home to LV.
This post was edited on 9/5/17 at 9:13 am
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Posted on 9/5/17 at 9:11 am to Scoop
quote:
on a dark, desert highway with the cool wind in my hair
quote:
I saw a Shimmering light
You stay at the Hotel California that night?
This post was edited on 9/5/17 at 9:16 am
Posted on 9/5/17 at 9:18 am to TigersHuskers
Once matched with this chick on the Badoo app on the way to work one morning. I go thru her pictures and I see that she's a LSU fan with nice tits, the pics were filtered but I didn't give a shite I wanted to message her and arrange a date that evening.
I message her and we exchange numbers, the girl starts texting me every fricking second. Eventually we agree to a date. Till then I am getting fast texts from the girl trying to get to know me and if I don't respond back fast enough she gets upset. She drops some hints at me about staying the night so when I leave work I pick up some extra cloths as a back up plan.
I'm driving to her place and she calls to tell me that we will have a couple drinks before heading out which I was cool with. I get there, she shows up at the door drinking a 40oz Malt Liquor and hands me mine. She shows me around her place and we proceed to the living room where a 60 year old gentleman is sitting with a lap top on his lap.
This chick begins to start dancing (already drunk) with this mini skirt on and asks me to dance with her. I start doing so nervously chuckling because the old man is looking at us laughing. (The old gentleman is a room mate of hers, won't explain). This guys says to me in the middle of this dancing "You have no idea what you are getting yourself into". He wanted to show off her hand pistol (which I knew it was to intimidate me) then proceeds to tell me he was a Green Beret in Vietnam.
So I drive her to the hibachi place to get dinner then do karaoke. Afterwards I drive her back which she begins to cuss me out after hopping a curb because she was all over the inside of my vehicle. Lastly, I get her home she cries a lot about stuff then we have a cigarette then we have sex. The End.
I message her and we exchange numbers, the girl starts texting me every fricking second. Eventually we agree to a date. Till then I am getting fast texts from the girl trying to get to know me and if I don't respond back fast enough she gets upset. She drops some hints at me about staying the night so when I leave work I pick up some extra cloths as a back up plan.
I'm driving to her place and she calls to tell me that we will have a couple drinks before heading out which I was cool with. I get there, she shows up at the door drinking a 40oz Malt Liquor and hands me mine. She shows me around her place and we proceed to the living room where a 60 year old gentleman is sitting with a lap top on his lap.
This chick begins to start dancing (already drunk) with this mini skirt on and asks me to dance with her. I start doing so nervously chuckling because the old man is looking at us laughing. (The old gentleman is a room mate of hers, won't explain). This guys says to me in the middle of this dancing "You have no idea what you are getting yourself into". He wanted to show off her hand pistol (which I knew it was to intimidate me) then proceeds to tell me he was a Green Beret in Vietnam.
So I drive her to the hibachi place to get dinner then do karaoke. Afterwards I drive her back which she begins to cuss me out after hopping a curb because she was all over the inside of my vehicle. Lastly, I get her home she cries a lot about stuff then we have a cigarette then we have sex. The End.
Posted on 9/5/17 at 9:21 am to tketaco
quote:
He wanted to show off her hand pistol
Wtf is a hand pistol?
This post was edited on 9/5/17 at 9:23 am
Posted on 9/5/17 at 9:28 am to Passing Wind
quote:
hand pistol
Posted on 9/5/17 at 9:38 am to tketaco
You're lucky you woke up with your kidneys. I woulda bailed at dinner.
Posted on 9/5/17 at 9:40 am to tketaco
holy frick thats sketchy
Posted on 9/5/17 at 9:42 am to Carson123987
quote:
girl i fooled around with in HS worked at marble slab.
quote:
busted off in her mouth
Why do you think it's called Marble Slab Creamery?
Posted on 9/5/17 at 9:54 am to TigersHuskers
quote:
holy frick thats sketchy
The sex wasn't even worth it either.
Posted on 9/5/17 at 10:06 am to fr33manator
quote:
I'll see if I can find it. Just ask Mikelbr. Hell, I copied and pasted that whole thing from a text I sent him when it happened.
This motherfricker is lucky the weepy dude didn't kill him. Oh and he ain't lying. This FigNewt was so giddy to tell someone he was texting me furiously.
I admit I chubbed a little.
Posted on 9/5/17 at 10:39 am to TigersHuskers
Once dated a girl that was into BDSM, though I never whipped the chick or used ball gags. The sex was crazy good. Eventually she lost her mind and shite fell apart.
Still talk to her but proceeds to tell me that her boyfriends abuse her and show me pictures of bruises and whip marks. Which I eventually figured out she was stealing Instagram pics from BDSM sites she has been following and using them to make dudes think she is getting abused.
There are more details but I don't have the time at work right now.
Still talk to her but proceeds to tell me that her boyfriends abuse her and show me pictures of bruises and whip marks. Which I eventually figured out she was stealing Instagram pics from BDSM sites she has been following and using them to make dudes think she is getting abused.
There are more details but I don't have the time at work right now.
Posted on 9/5/17 at 11:21 am to TigersHuskers
Didn't happen to me, but happened in my apartment. When I was in grad school, my friend, who was a sophomore, had his ex girlfriend and friend from high school come visit one weekend. He was staying in the dorms and asked if they could stay in my apartment. I had plenty of room in the apartment, so I agreed. So before they came over, I jokingly showed my friend where my condoms were and said, "just in case." The evening comes to a close and everyone is settling in and I go to bed. In the middle of the night, I hear my friend come into my room, open my dresser drawer, and get one of my condoms. He had sex on my futon while their friend was asleep on the couch in the same room. Fast forward to this year. I'm helping him move out and he hands me a condom. He says, "For that one time I had sex on your futon."
Posted on 9/5/17 at 11:27 am to Red5LSU
quote:
Didn't happen to me, but happened in my apartment. When I was in grad school, my friend, who was a sophomore, had his ex girlfriend and friend from high school come visit one weekend. He was staying in the dorms and asked if they could stay in my apartment. I had plenty of room in the apartment, so I agreed. So before they came over, I jokingly showed my friend where my condoms were and said, "just in case." The evening comes to a close and everyone is settling in and I go to bed. In the middle of the night, I hear my friend come into my room, open my dresser drawer, and get one of my condoms. He had sex on my futon while their friend was asleep on the couch in the same room. Fast forward to this year. I'm helping him move out and he hands me a condom. He says, "For that one time I had sex on your futon."
I want my 32 seconds back for reading that gay arse shite.
Posted on 9/5/17 at 12:02 pm to mikelbr
Hooked up with a chick who in midsmash made me bite her nipples extremely hard until they bled. It was a little weird to me at first but she screamed with delight.
The sex was outstanding
The sex was outstanding
Posted on 9/5/17 at 12:03 pm to Tigeralum2008
Don't think I could do that.
Posted on 9/5/17 at 12:16 pm to Red5LSU
U suck
Posted on 9/5/17 at 3:10 pm to Red5LSU
I forgot to add that the ex was married or engaged to be married.
Posted on 9/5/17 at 3:28 pm to Red5LSU
quote:One time in a swimming pool I was swimming with my eyes closed and I accidentally touched a girl's booby.
Didn't happen to me, but happened in my apartment. When I was in grad school, my friend, who was a sophomore, had his ex girlfriend and friend from high school come visit one weekend. He was staying in the dorms and asked if they could stay in my apartment. I had plenty of room in the apartment, so I agreed. So before they came over, I jokingly showed my friend where my condoms were and said, "just in case." The evening comes to a close and everyone is settling in and I go to bed. In the middle of the night, I hear my friend come into my room, open my dresser drawer, and get one of my condoms. He had sex on my futon while their friend was asleep on the couch in the same room. Fast forward to this year. I'm helping him move out and he hands me a condom. He says, "For that one time I had sex on your futon."
This post was edited on 9/5/17 at 3:30 pm
Posted on 9/5/17 at 3:33 pm to mikelbr
She said shes off to pee while were watching a movie, she left for 5 minutes and i knew something was up. I knocked on the door and asked if everything was ok, she said yes she'll be right out...her voice was labored and i became suspicious...so i yelled "IM COMING IN!'. She screamed no but there was no stopping this, i smashed through the door and i see her sitting on the toilet seat. I told her to get the frick up; she didnt so i threw her off. I looked inside the toilet...just as i suspected, a good damn log. Bitch you better pray this isn't yours. I looked around and saw no pet in sight. I KNOW THIS IS UR POOP YOU WHORE. She screamed at me that im crazy and that shes calling the cops... all the while toilet paper in her hands. I told her no need to call the cops, im breaking up with you, you some kinda poop whore.
- and that was that. I feel like a new man and off to find a woman who doesn't poop.
- and that was that. I feel like a new man and off to find a woman who doesn't poop.
This post was edited on 9/5/17 at 3:34 pm
Posted on 9/5/17 at 9:31 pm to Tigeralum2008
Been there on the nipple thing. I couldn't bite them too hard for her. Had to dry clean my comfortoter after her
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