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Started By
Message
re: Confession Time (Advice Welcomed) **Updated, pg 15**
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:31 am to link
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:31 am to link
quote:
weird thread title. why do you feel like you're "confessing" to having a black SO? are you subconsciously ashamed?
Not at all! The confession relates to me having pussed out on telling my folks until now.
She is an aweaome lady and I really out kicked my coverage with her.
4
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:31 am to Ted2010
I am more comfortable with interracial marriages now than I use to be, am 62.
Healthy children want the approval of their parents, irrespective age.
If the two of you believe this is God's union, proceed to a long happy life but know there will be added turbulence
Healthy children want the approval of their parents, irrespective age.
If the two of you believe this is God's union, proceed to a long happy life but know there will be added turbulence
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:31 am to Ted2010
quote:
No. Ive justified it by telling myself they haven't asked. Honestly, Ive just been putting it off cause I dont want the conflict
Right now, they have no reason to ask. Man, you are really setting yourself up for heartache here. It sucks, and its going to be hard to do. But if they feel this strongly about mixed race relationships, you need to tell them about her before they meet her.
Give them a chance to digest and understand this situation. If you get off the plane with her, and they don't know her race, you are definitely not going to avoid conflict that way. Do you really want her to experience that?
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:31 am to Ted2010
"We have been with each other for a while"
So, you told them she was the maid for how long?
So, you told them she was the maid for how long?
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:31 am to OWLFAN86
quote:
there's a lot of money to be made in TV commercials these days
Hmmmmmmmm....
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:31 am to Ted2010
Ted2010.......if you love the woman then you need to pursue the future with her. Your parents will be shocked, no doubt about that, but will probably surprise you and warmly welcome her into the family. If they do not welcome her, then you must decide if your future is with this women or with your parents. Good luck and Geaux Tigers!!!!
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:32 am to latech15
quote:
Your parents are right.
I’d like to know why it’s “wrong” as well. Doubt we’d get an answer. There never is one.
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:32 am to Ted2010
In all seriousness, OP, I think it’s important for us to know if she has a nice big booty
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:32 am to bigpetedatiga
quote:
why does this have to be the first place you go because she is black.
Because if his dad believes that races shouldn't mix, then he probably assumes that most black girls exemplify that terrible stereotype. Once the son establishes that she obviously does exhibit those stereotypes, the father will likely be fairly quick to accept her.
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:32 am to JetFuelTyga
quote:
Plus, biracial kids are adorable
Very true. They are beautiful.
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:32 am to Ted2010
quote:
My S.O. is a black woman
quote:
I've heard my whole life say mixing races is wrong.
This gon be good
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:32 am to Ted2010
Does your gf know that you have failed to mention her race to your parents?
If I was her, that would be a huge red flag to me about the relationship. You not telling your parents will make her feel like you are somehow ashamed of her on some level.
Once she finds out you haven't told your parents...you may not have to worry about your parents reaction...she may just leave you.
If I was her, that would be a huge red flag to me about the relationship. You not telling your parents will make her feel like you are somehow ashamed of her on some level.
Once she finds out you haven't told your parents...you may not have to worry about your parents reaction...she may just leave you.
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:32 am to Ted2010
quote:
While they do not have a problem with black folks they certainly think interracial relationships are very wrong
Does not compute
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:33 am to Ted2010
Send them a picture of you two, then go off their reaction.
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:33 am to Ted2010
Give your parents a chance to accept it. If they get to know your S.O., they'll probably at least grudgingly accept the relationship. Key thing is neither of you, especially her, can get mad and burn bridges, even if they react badly.
Understand that for whatever reasons they think this way (I was brought up the same way, btw), they think it's "right". Attacking that belief is attacking them. There's no logical or intellectual reason to think this way, so you have to acknowledge you're dealing with feelings instead. Probably some feeling of fear, IMHO.
If they ever do come around, it'll be a slow process, and them getting to know her will be key.
Of course, some people are just terrible humans, and you have to decide when to cut your losses and be willing to leave them alone and live without them.
Understand that for whatever reasons they think this way (I was brought up the same way, btw), they think it's "right". Attacking that belief is attacking them. There's no logical or intellectual reason to think this way, so you have to acknowledge you're dealing with feelings instead. Probably some feeling of fear, IMHO.
If they ever do come around, it'll be a slow process, and them getting to know her will be key.
Of course, some people are just terrible humans, and you have to decide when to cut your losses and be willing to leave them alone and live without them.
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:33 am to Ted2010
They will get over it most likely but your future kids will suffer.
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:33 am to Prominentwon
Good post. You are right. And this lady is just amazing; much better than I deserve.
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:33 am to Ted2010
quote:
I know that when I tell them that their future daughter-in-law is black they are going to shite a brick.
That's their issue not yours. You are doing them a favor. It will make them better people.
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:33 am to lsunurse
quote:
If I was her, that would be a huge red flag to me about the relationship. You not telling your parents will make her feel like you are somehow ashamed of her on some level.
Once she finds out you haven't told your parents...you may not have to worry about your parents reaction...she may just leave you.
Honestly, I was thinking this. Glad you said it thought nurse.
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:33 am to Ted2010
quote:
If my folks get to know her they will see how sweet and awesome she is.
You've been together "for a while" and your folks don't know her?
Your whole story smells on this detail, baw.
This post was edited on 10/31/18 at 10:34 am
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