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re: Confession Time (Advice Welcomed) **Updated, pg 15**
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:26 am to Ted2010
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:26 am to Ted2010
quote:
I know that when I tell them that their future daughter-in-law is black they are going to shite a brick.
Sounds like you have a decision to make. You can either be your own man, do what makes you happy and what is best for you, or be the man your parents want you to be and cater to their expectations.
Personally, I would say do what makes you happy. If you are man, you should be standing on your own two feet and not worrying about the opinions of others when it comes to your love life and matters of the heart. If you parents love you then they should be open to the person who makes you happy.
As a father to a daughter and a son, I want someone who will be loving, loyal, and do right by them at all times. The color of their skin is the least of my concerns.
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:26 am to Ted2010
quote:weird thread title. why do you feel like you're "confessing" to having a black SO? are you subconsciously ashamed?
Confession Time
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:27 am to Ted2010
quote:there's a lot of money to be made in TV commercials these days
But, there is a potential problem. My S.O. is a black woman.
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:27 am to Zanzibaw
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:27 am to Ted2010
If your parents have a problem with it, tell them to kick rocks.
Plus, biracial kids are adorable
Plus, biracial kids are adorable
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:27 am to Ted2010
quote:Bama board
certainly think interracial relationships are very wrong.
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:27 am to Ted2010
From what you say it will be a conflict. Just hope it passes when they meet her. If they can not get it over it then you need to decide who you need more in your life, and your life moving forward.
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:28 am to Ted2010
You’re no Prince Andrew, I presume.
Guessing the disappointment you expect from them will be confirmed when holiday meals start having more fried chicken, collards and watermelon.
Good Luck.
Guessing the disappointment you expect from them will be confirmed when holiday meals start having more fried chicken, collards and watermelon.
Good Luck.
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:28 am to kingbob
quote:
aspirations beyond section 8 vouchers and having multiple baby-daddys
why does this have to be the first place you go because she is black.
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:28 am to boxcarbarney
quote:
But they are aware of her race, correct?
No. Ive justified it by telling myself they haven't asked. Honestly, Ive just been putting it off cause I dont want the conflict
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:29 am to Ted2010
Tell Mom and Pop to quit being racist or frick off.
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:29 am to Ted2010
quote:
My parents are from an older generation (they are in their 60s.) While they do not have a problem with black folks they certainly think interracial relationships are very wrong. I've heard my whole life say mixing races is wrong.
I stopped right there. That’s their problem and you can’t make a decision based on them. Its always about a judgement of character rather than the color of their skin.
There’s going to be plenty of people that post on here that will say they’ll never do it, but at the end of the day, if this girl is a genuine, good person, be damned what my parents would think.
My wife and I got into this conversation one day about our daughter and a possibility of interracial relationships. I told her I’d be fine with it as long as he’s a good kid and not oozing with ghetto. That goes for any race. A piece of shite can and will be any color. A good dude is a good dude.
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:29 am to Ted2010
quote:Your parents share a colon?
I know that when I tell them that their future daughter-in-law is black they are going to shite a brick.
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:29 am to Ted2010
quote:
Alabama Fan
Your parents should be happy that you don’t want to screw your sister or first cousin.
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:29 am to Ted2010
You need to let them know what's going on, if not introduce her to your parents. It may be bad, and they may not understand, but they'll love you and think you're mistaken. If you spring it on them after the fact it changes, and they'll think you hid it from them to spite them and it'll never get better.
That said, no matter what they do you need to be clear that woman is who you intend to marry, and they're not changing that. Marriage is tough, and it'll get tougher if your wife thinks you won't have her back against your parents.
That said, no matter what they do you need to be clear that woman is who you intend to marry, and they're not changing that. Marriage is tough, and it'll get tougher if your wife thinks you won't have her back against your parents.
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:29 am to bigpetedatiga
quote:
bigpetedatiga
Really solid post. Thank you.
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:29 am to Ted2010
quote:
Ive justified it by telling myself they haven't asked. Honestly, Ive just been putting it off cause I dont want the conflict
This is unimpressive.
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:29 am to Ted2010
quote:
No. Ive justified it by telling myself they haven't asked. Honestly, Ive just been putting it off cause I dont want the conflict
They've never seen a picture of the two of you together?
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:29 am to Ted2010
They haven't met her but have you told them she's black? If not, why not? Time to be an adult. Let them know and let them know it's getting serious. If they are reasonable people who love you, they'll be happy that you're happy.
Posted on 10/31/18 at 10:30 am to Ted2010
quote:
This is in regards to my S.O. (no pics you pervs.) We have been with each other for a while; it has gotten very serious with us. She's everything I want and we make each other happy.
But, there is a potential problem. My S.O. is a black woman. My parents are from an older generation (they are in their 60s.) While they do not have a problem with black folks they certainly think interracial relationships are very wrong. I've heard my whole life say mixing races is wrong.
I know that when I tell them that their future daughter-in-law is black they are going to shite a brick. It's going to cause a strain in my relationship with them and could also strain my relationship with my girl.
If my folks get to know her they will see how sweet and awesome she is. So, what does the OT advise on how I should approach my parents with this?
Been in this exact scenario over 20 years ago.
My suggestion: Tell them matter of factly, and do NOT try to make it sound like she is "acceptable" because of how sweet and awesome she is. Just simply state that this is the person that makes you happy.
The rest will sort itself out over time. If you're going to marry the girl, then your first and only priority is her happiness. Your parents will either fall into line, or they won't. But never make your future wife feel like you are trying to "Sell" her to your parents.
Once you have kids, everything tends to get easier... and more difficult.
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