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Christmas step parenting Q... am i wrong?
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:39 pm
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:39 pm
Background - been dating a woman about 1.5 years who has 2 kids from her previous marriage. Started getting to know the kids a year ago and we get along great. Her ex by her account is a dead beat and always the bare minimum type, who she despises and usually doesn’t have much good to say about.
This is her first Christmas without the kids (7, 4)
Christmas morning he starts sending her a bunch of videos of him with tje kids laughing, carrying on, etc. She is happy to see them happy on Christmas morning as would be expected.
She puts the phone in my face and tells me ‘look how happy they are!’ To which I reply ‘i would rather not watch videos of your ex husband on my Christmas morning, but great they are having a good time’.
This turns into an argument about me being selfish and unable to not think about myself, can’t put the kids first, etc. I just wanted to enjoy my coffee, and the day off work without having videos of her ex as part of it.
I didn’t (and don’t) think it was selfish of me to not want to watch the videos. I didn’t ask her to stop, just said I didn’t want to see them right now.
Am i wrong?
Don’t post much, but in b4 PIIHB, pics, etc etc etc
This is her first Christmas without the kids (7, 4)
Christmas morning he starts sending her a bunch of videos of him with tje kids laughing, carrying on, etc. She is happy to see them happy on Christmas morning as would be expected.
She puts the phone in my face and tells me ‘look how happy they are!’ To which I reply ‘i would rather not watch videos of your ex husband on my Christmas morning, but great they are having a good time’.
This turns into an argument about me being selfish and unable to not think about myself, can’t put the kids first, etc. I just wanted to enjoy my coffee, and the day off work without having videos of her ex as part of it.
I didn’t (and don’t) think it was selfish of me to not want to watch the videos. I didn’t ask her to stop, just said I didn’t want to see them right now.
Am i wrong?
Don’t post much, but in b4 PIIHB, pics, etc etc etc
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:40 pm to HoustonsTiger
Run, 2 young kids by another man, no thanks
This post was edited on 12/26/18 at 12:41 pm
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:40 pm to HoustonsTiger
quote:
Am i wrong?
Yeah.
She wasn't asking you to watch videos of the ex, jackass.
This post was edited on 12/26/18 at 12:41 pm
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:41 pm to HoustonsTiger
quote:
been dating a woman about 1.5 years who has 2 kids from her previous marriage.
Why?
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:41 pm to HoustonsTiger
(no message)
This post was edited on 2/8/25 at 2:05 pm
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:42 pm to HoustonsTiger
If you can’t watch children be excited on Christmas morning with their dad, then I’d suggest you stop dating women with children.
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:42 pm to HoustonsTiger
You are not going to win this argument, and yes you were wrong (even if you're right, you're still wrong).
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:42 pm to HoustonsTiger
Why the frick would you want to date someone with kids?
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:42 pm to HoustonsTiger
quote:
can’t put the kids first
They're not your kids.
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:43 pm to HoustonsTiger
quote:
This turns into an argument about me being selfish and unable to not think about myself, can’t put the kids first, etc. I just wanted to enjoy my coffee, and the day off work without having videos of her ex as part of it.
How are you enjoying this little window into your future life?
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:44 pm to HoustonsTiger
would a simple...."aww that's nice." been that hard???
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:44 pm to HoustonsTiger
You jealous of him? You’re taking his sloppy seconds
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:44 pm to SCLibertarian
quote:
They're not your kids.
This. Why should he be expected to put them first.
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:45 pm to HoustonsTiger
You have some growing up to do.
She was happy her kids were happy. Get over the ex this and ex that drama or do her a favor and get out
She was happy her kids were happy. Get over the ex this and ex that drama or do her a favor and get out
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:45 pm to shutterspeed
Right, so point taken on the 'why date a woman with kids' bit.
But that isn't the question I was asking...
As to the window into the future, that certainly is an interesting take
But that isn't the question I was asking...
As to the window into the future, that certainly is an interesting take
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:46 pm to shutterspeed
Sounds like you are threatened by the ex-husband.
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:47 pm to HoustonsTiger
Step-parenting is incredibly difficult. Congrats and your good relationship with the kids. That can be one of the hard parts sometimes.
Until they are grown, college age or so, their needs should come before my feelings of awkwardness. I have spent multiple birthdays and holidays in the company of people I prefer to not be around. In the end, the kids appreciate it.
However, watching videos of the ex on Christmas morning isn’t one of those things you have to suck up, in my opinion. Kids don’t know or care if you watch. I’m with you on this one.
Until they are grown, college age or so, their needs should come before my feelings of awkwardness. I have spent multiple birthdays and holidays in the company of people I prefer to not be around. In the end, the kids appreciate it.
However, watching videos of the ex on Christmas morning isn’t one of those things you have to suck up, in my opinion. Kids don’t know or care if you watch. I’m with you on this one.
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:47 pm to HoustonsTiger
You aren't a step-parent and you were wrong.
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:47 pm to HoustonsTiger
It was my first Christmas with my lady’s kids there (here’s us)
Pleasantly surprised. They were behaved, got along great with the littles, were helpful and respectful, and other than being on the phones they just got for Christmas, perfectly pleasant.
I don’t blame a parent for wanting to have some interaction with her kids on Christmas even if they aren’t there. Don’t be so defensive, just smile and nod and then dick her down later. Don’t be a cünt.

Pleasantly surprised. They were behaved, got along great with the littles, were helpful and respectful, and other than being on the phones they just got for Christmas, perfectly pleasant.
I don’t blame a parent for wanting to have some interaction with her kids on Christmas even if they aren’t there. Don’t be so defensive, just smile and nod and then dick her down later. Don’t be a cünt.
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:47 pm to tigerfoot
I understand she was happy. And I told her I'm happy for her.
Why is it an issue that I don't want to spend my morning watching these videos and enjoy my Christmas?
Why is it an issue that I don't want to spend my morning watching these videos and enjoy my Christmas?
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