Christmas commiseration thread

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, nephew came out of the closet in front of meemaw

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Why do cocksmokers always feel the need for a stage to do this and ruin everyone's meal.

Strep throat for the first time since I was a kid, I'm 52 and it hurts like hell.

No bj from the wife......yet.

Merry Christmas OT

Well, you can probably get the bj from the nephew

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Don't recall banging my gal because I had too much Christmas cheer

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Are you sure it happened? Is your arse sore?

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Well she was walking funny this morning

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Sounds like you been giving the bjs if you came down with stretch throat

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That didn't take long.

I hate shopping. I don't just dislike it, I hate it. I did my homework on line. I found what I wanted (1/2carat diamond earrings) at a price I thought was fair. I had waited too long and had to go to the store to get it.

The only store that carried it was 40 miles away. I took off Saturday morning to get them. I got through the traffic, into the mall, and drove around all those cones that are not there for normal traffic, just Christmas. Traffic was heavy and it took an hour to park from when I left home 40 miles away.

I get in the store and realize there are a dozen people waiting on the one old battle wagon that was working there. After waiting 10 minutes, I realized I had needed to take a number.

Another woman strolls in that works there. She puts her purse in the cabinet, drinks some coffee, walks around and looks at all of the cabinets full of jewelry, checks the register to see how much has been sold, has more coffee, then goes to help the next person.
I notice that they don't advance the numbers on the counter so they all think the next person is number 72.

Another old crotchety sack of shite walks in, mimics the first returnees coffee, purse, register routine, then begins to call 72 again. (I am number 80.) They finally get to 79. The third woman finally frees herself up and begins hollering 79 again. I tell her 79 is being helped already and I am 80. She looks at me through her stupor and says Haaaaaaannnnhh?

I finally get her to get the earrings out of the display case and try to pay. She wants me to apply for a credit card. I politely decline but she is not having it. Don't I want the immediate $60 SAVINGS? No, I don't. I want to pay and go.

Now we start the email battle. I don't want to receive notices throughout the year, apprising me of my potential savings. She is determined that I need them. I also decline giving my phone number but she says I have to for security reasons since I am buying diamonds. I had already given my credit card and license and felt secure. I finally had to give the phone number.

I forgot to mention that between her getting the earrings out of the case and me leaving, she had to go help the other girls 8 times because they knew less than her. It took about 2 hours for me to get my purchase even though I walked in and straight to it.

I realized on the way out that I had to pee. I looked for a restroom or someone to ask about where it was. Neither were available so I left. Traffic was even more miserable on the way home. I did not want to pull off and pee so I tied it in a knot and made it home. Once I got home I peed and all is well again.

TLDR: I should not be allowed in public between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

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so basically the whole thing was self-inflicted by your procrastinating

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Yes. Them being lazy, slothful, incapable, understaffed, incompetent, , untrained, morose, and obtuse is all on me.

Holy shite brah I already went to church today

I don't wanna read the bible again